She turns 2...and other unrelated stuff...

See I've been busy these past couple of a weeks, what with all the midterms and assignments and all that shit I have to do just so I can obain a 30-40 percentage from my overall final marks in order to increase my grade point average so as to obtain a useless degree which will most probably land me a low-paying job working 12 hours a day for an unknown company only to know that you won't go far in life as bosses nowadays refuse to see one's actual capability but instead rely too much on that white piece of trash paper they call a degree. Did I mention my degree was useless?? Did I mention I was going to wipe my ass with that degree??


Anyways, on the 14th of July, my baby turned two...

Yay...Happy Birthday!!

It is a good thing I got it pasted as soon as possible, as till today, I've already been through 2 JPJ/Police road blocks. And I was only travelling to and from uni. The second road block was even better. I was stopped at 3.30am. Just a hundred meters from my apartment. There'll be the usual skeptics going "Aiya...JPJ no money, want cari makan again...". But I say "Fuck you...if you abide by the law, they can't do anything to you no matter what. What cari makan? They're only upholding the bloody law. So renew your road tax already..."

Back to my baby...there'll always be several adventures which will be forever etched in my mind...

How can I forget revving my baby all the way to 6.5k rpm on the very first day that I got her?? Some say I'm harming her by not running in the engine properly but I say screw you.

How can I forget going 160kph on the Penang Bridge and more recently, along Jalan Tun Razak in KL?? I know it's not fast but it's the best she can do and I'm still happy...

How can I forget getting my first kiss from my dear, Cynthia, in my baby?? *winkz*

How can I forget cruising around nearly 3 quarters of KL?? It's a bloody waste of petrol but it's all for discovering new places...

How can I forget going around the mountains in Teluk Bahang?? I'm not fast but still...there's the thrill...

And more recently, how can I forget going all the way to Genting just to take a piss?? No hotel stay, no themepark rides, no Starbucks. Just a quick piss...

Most importantly, how can I forget going around Gurney Drive with my brothers Derek, Rene, Victor, Anthony and Alan, rolling down the windows and shouting and laughing at the people there. Eventually we got caught by a certain Inspector Chee. Being caught by the police and being labelled by them as monkeys from trees rule!!! I will never forget this for the rest of my life...

This is how she looks like from the inside now...

no those are not a digital and an analog clock...duhhh...turbo timer and vacumm meter


In an unrelated issue, there was this news in the newspaper today about a guy who died moments after being robbed by 2 men. He was slashed with parangs and guess what? This happened around the area I'm living in. And guess what again? I happened to pass by the scene yesterday. No, I didn't know it was a robbery case and yes the guy was still pretty much alive when I passed through. Not wanting to be a kaypo, I continued on and only knew about his death hours later. And guess what yet again?? It's the Hungry Ghost Month. What a time to leave the world. May God bless him wherever he is now and I hope the 2 men will get fucked by sex-hungry homosexual dogs while bending over to pick up a one cent coin(Derek...sorry bro...stole your line..haha..)


In another unrelated issue, I happend to chance upon these funny looking biscuits when I bought a whole tin of assorted biscuits recently.


smiley face biscuits!!


They look weird but they sure as hell taste damn good. Makes me feel guilty of eating something which looks so....ermm....happy....

Best Video Ever

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zcd-UtMR7aE


No idea how to post videos here so just go to the link and see it.
Very cool.
Not offensive in any way though the title might suggest it.
Just trust me and watch it okay?

Genting trip

3am on a saturday morning. What is there to do? I don't feel like sleeping nor do I feel like playing with my dragon. Hahahahahha. Not really interested in mamaks and the clubs are probably closed by this time. Want do what? My friend say go Genting lo. My first reaction was like "Shit...go Genting for fucks ar? There got what to do? Find prostitute?". But then I gave it a second thought and came back with this reponse "Good. Let's go Genting First World Hotel, use the toilet and come back down again."


Shit man. So we actually drove all the way there. If I'm not mistaken it's bout 30kms(give or take) from my place. Fuck man, Uncle Lim damn kao kao rich but he can't even install enough street lamps along the road to Genting. Genting road damn blardy excitement. Reminds me of Teluk Bahang. Fucking dark with fucking sharp corners. But dangerous also la. More dangerous than the Genting China Mei Mei. There the most, you get AIDS and die in 20 years time. This road you close your eyes 2 seconds I guarantee you fly off the mountain and die.


When reached the top, I just realised that I was still in shorts and slippers. Damn mother chee bye cold. Can feel my balls frozen. Next time go up again must wear 3 layer underwear. The last time I went up there was when I was 5. That time my dragon not fully grown. Now my dragon even the China Mei Mei see also scared. They only know how to say "I want more!!" Hahahahaha!! But go up there my dragon become worm. I think shrink until smaller than my 5 year old time dragon. Hahahahaha. All I can say is never take photo at Genting at 4.45am wearing only shorts and slippers.



damn lan ciao-shrinking cold


When we reached First World Hotel, mother chee bye, got a lot of tourist bus unloading passengers there. These people don't need sleep? It was already 5am. But not too bad la. Got a lot sexy sexy mui muis to see. I think they're from China or something. Don't really care. As long can see girls can dee. They all look very cold. Should ask my help ma. My dragon can breathe out fire and warm them a bit. Hahahaha. Parked the car at the side, went in search of the toilet and took some photos.


There was also a Starbucks there and I saw some people drinking those ice-blended thing. I donno la...I'm not a big fan of Starfucks. Only the rich high class people drink. Low class poor Ah Beng like me drink kopi-0 jit poay also happy. Then I realised these people no brain 1 izzit? Up here Genting so cold summore drink ice-blended. Might as well walk around naked. Siao...












yup...5.05am and it's 16 degrees. Colder than my home aircond.







Even took one of myself in front of the hotel. Just in case some people say I'm talking cock and cooking up a fake story. Walked around a bit and we saw this miniature model of the whole of Genting set up in the front lobby. Looks damn chio.



Roller coaster on the bottom left...



closeup of roller coaster...



the real thing itself...


Found the toilet. Took probably the most expensive (fuel and energy wise) piss ever and left the place. We wanted to find the casino. Not to gamble of course. My pocket only left RM20 gamble for fuck ar? We wanted to see some China Mei Mei. But in the end cannot find it. Sienz. Go back Bukit Bintang see the massage Mei Mei or go Chow Kit find the Papaya Farm girls better.


Descending the mountain was like having our ears poked, literally. We were speeding down so fast that our ears could not adapt to the rapid pressure changes. My friend say "You crazy ar...go down mountain also drive so fast?" I looked at the meter and it showed 120kph. I was like "Eh...like not fast enough leh..."


Reached home at 6 and slept straight away. My ears still kinda deaf. My head still a little bit pening. But still, had a great time. I'm now thinking up of new places to go and piss. I have this idea of going to that KLCC twin tower bridge thing and piss there. HAhahahahahaha. Or go some high class hotel like the JW Marriot and piss in the swimming pool. Or perhaps should drive to Melaka and piss on that famous Fort A'Famosa thing.


So what do I think of Genting? It was fun and was a good experience to drive up but definitely not worth the time, energy and fuel. Better take bus or cable car. Probably the 2nd and last time I'll ever go up there again. Unless of course got brothers want go gambling and find China Mei Mei. Then I want go tooooooooooo.....

Financial woes

Last week damn terrible. My 2nd wife died on me. Sad sekali. Cannot start engine wor it seems. Turn the key so many times but why she cannot start? My friend say relek. Maybe your battery finish. I laugh at him. Kanineh...Lucky got spare bottle of battery water. Under hot sun, sweat like cow refill battery. But still cannot start engine. Die. Going to be late for Goo Bak Teh's tutorial.


I so sad. Have to leave my dear under the hot sun and run to class. Inside class, lecturer stare cock. Never see student late before? Die die must cut your marks, you come so late for what she said. See XXX website until forgot to wake up? Auntie, my car break down, you want me do what? Fly ar? You think Superman meh? So she relek, say won't cut my marks. Whole day cannot concentrate. Always thinking bout my dear. Got sexy girl walk pass also don't want see. Lecturer call me do question also I buat tak tahu. Sorry, not I buat tak tahu. The fact is I really tak tahu buat the question. Call me do got use?


After class straight run outside to check on my dear. Still cannot start. Tulan. Feel like want to punch somebody. Then this stupid punk walk pass. I punched him cause he stare cock, and I don't like his face. Suddenly feel happy so take taxi with my fren go mechanic. When go back to my car time, God play joke on us. Suddenly raining so heavy. Mechanic say wait after rain only repair. Good lo.


Few hours later go get my car from mechanic. The taukeh soh say your car no big problem. We do for you everything sooi sooi, charge you charge very little. We value customer one. Yes ar? When receive bill time nearly fainted.

New battery = RM135
New alternator = RM220
Service charge = RM10
For everything else, go condo top floor and jump down better.


Now everything must cut down. Everyday eat maggi mee. Want eat murtabak also cannot, must down size to roti kosong. Everyday drink home-boiled water. Newspaper and magazines also cannot buy. Smoking also need to cut down. But I'm on my way to quitting cause I've promised my darls(real girlfriend, not car) I will quit. Government also satu macam. Every time increase cigarette price. Want kill ownself faster with cigarette also must pay so much. Like don't make sense like that.


You see I very poor one. Everyone keep on saying my father lawyer sure I'm a rich kid. Rich your kar chng la. I do some maths for you all see.

Monthly allowance = RM1000
Room rental = RM260
Streamyx = RM20
Water and Electric = RM20
Petrol bill = RM200
Food for 1 day = RM15 x 30(1 month) = RM450


If you use your calculator correctly, you will notice I only have RM50 left. RM50 can do what? Find prostitute also cannot. No choice. Stay home see XXX website and DIY. My friend say go buy 4D. I ask him you siao izzit? You think everyday Sunday ar? So easy can strike? You now like donating RM50 to them already. They don't need do anything, sit on their backside sell ticket also can earn more than 4D 1st prize. Why people still so stupid go buy?


Because people lazy work and want earn fast money izzit? That's why la Malaysia cannot progress. All so lazy, work extra a bit kao pek kao boh. When Malaysia cannot make money, blame the Government. Then Government satu macam increase price of everything so can make money back. In the end also the people kena back. Malaysia people damn sohai. Complain here complain there until one big round and kena shoot back. Then complain somemore and prices go up again. Haih...Vision 2020 ar? You all wait longer a bit la...