Long long time ago when I was small and chubby,
My parents always talk to me in English, so very easy,
They never teach me Mandarin li,
Cause nobody in Penang speak, afterward people think you silly,
I go to school everyday, also speak the England only,
I got take Mandarin class last time,but in the end tak jadi.


Last time in Penang I always talk English with my buddy,
So happy cause we share here share there while enjoy kopi,
But now I come KL...nobody understand me,
Nobody here speak the England,I feel like mati,
And they always think I am orang asing like Bangkali,
"I cannot speak Mandarin", I tell the kopi tiam aunty,
She so stunned, look at me face so funny.


Got many new people in university,very happy,
But they always speak Mandarin, habis la me,
I try to speak to them in English, say Hieeee,
They look at me, then turn away, abaikan me,
I sit at there, look at the wall and "soak hun khee"(smoking),
But all think I am background, think I am like tree,
I always tulan, go ambil kereta lari, while scream PUKI.


Girl look at me think I am weirdo lelaki,
Know I don't know Mandarin but still wan speak that to me,
They cannot accept that "wo pu huay jiang hua yee"(I don't know mandarin),
Summore nowsaday my English sudah teruk like monkey,
Suppose to say He but I say She, must say She I say He,
Summore I write story, not funny already,
I make jokes, but nobody laugh with me,
Cause they don't know English jokes, all Cina lagi.


Go restaurant order food but tak boleh jadi,
The menu all in Chinese, how to order the roasted babi??
So pai seh must call my friend order for me,
Best place is go mamak order kopi and roti,
I very tired of this place already,
Lucky the semester going to habis satu bulan lagi,
At least I can go home and see my family,
And find my friends so together drink kopi.


But still, I have some good friend here with me,
They always support me although I bu huay jiang hua yee,
They are William,Fatcat,Yap Hong,Chor,Siang and JC,
They are now my saviours in this foreign-like country,
Names not in order 1 okie?
So JC if u reading this, your name last cause must rhyme, poem li,
Got many more good friends but hard to say all,so sorry,
Cause I running out of idea and rhymes, want end my story.


So I will end my story,
I know today story not funny,
Cause I no mood, simply cakap nonsense li,
Conclusion:- No, I will not learn Mandarin lagi,
Although this means I will mati,
But fuck, I don't give a shit, puki,
If my father didn't learn Mandarin, so will me,
Like my father, I will not teach my children Mandarin, I lazy,
If they suffer, I tell them don't need worry,
As long as your English powderful, you can make money already,
As long you make money, your life very comfortable I guarantee.

Recently looked through a few old pics in my hp...so...

What Penangites do when they come to Kay Elle

We engage in fake jedi fights with friends from other states...especially when the final exams are just on the next day.

We use the gym equipment from the hotels...although none of us were staying there at the time...

We bring our kick-ass cars down to show...no wait...we pose with kick-ass cars belonging to people we don't even know

We love squeezing cow tits...

and squeezing more tits...

And we love to eat...

Dedicated to the friends who had liven up and brought joy to my high school life...you guys are the best..

P.S.

I didn't have pics of many more friends and brothers from high school but I still love them all the same...will pose their pics if I ever get them...God bless...

current feeling :- nostalgic...wishing to go back to the old days again...

A story about the money

When I was young, my daddy have many money,
Many people also have many many money,
Everybody spend here spend there, don need worry,
But 1997 economy crash, everybody mati,
Last time always eat 'sio tu bak' but now can eat roti only,
Last time always buy Transformer robot play but now can play with "xiao didi" only,
Last time always go outstation play but now can stay at home only watch TV,
Last time always get ang pau big big heavy heavy,
Nowsadays get the angpau not enough to buy burger Ramli,
Last time Auntie Uncle always buy new toy for me,
Now Auntie Uncle donno disappear where, never see them lagi,
Aiyoyo...where all the money pergi already?



They say we poor cause government always play with money,
Monsoon Cup in Terengganu cost RM300 juta li,
There...the competition they use boat race lai race khi,
Cost so much, nobody go, money also terbang pergi,
Then everyday in newspaper can read about AP,
Argue here argue there but in the end also the rakyat rugi,
Samy Vellu always build road, very safe he guarantee,
But MRR2 sudah mahu runtuh, very scary,
Bodoh punya orang, can go tell him play with his "poay ki"(tfk),
Proton car cost so much money,
But inside, macam tong sampah, so easy spoil, very kek khi(mad),



Nowsadays, petrol price sudah naik lagi,
Sien la like that, want ronda also must think properly,
Mui mui chai all call fetch here fetch there go kai kai see see,
But I must say no, because no money and also I very lazy,
Najib promise no more price hike for this year lagi,
But Najib don't know anything, cause he got many money,
Summore study in UTAR, very expensive, really can mati,
The lecturers there all very smart but look like monkey,
Smart also no use cause they always teach like Bugs Bunny,
The food there so expensive and also very lousy,
The car park also not free, must pay money lagi,
UTAR got nothing to play 1, sien ka pua si,
This is the thing that will make you shout "kan ma puki"


Daddy always say don spend too much money,
Money not easy to earn, must use wisely,
I also know money hard to earn but nowsadays different already,
Last time RM1 can buy 1 bowl Hokkien Mee,
But now, RM1 also cannot buy Maggi Mee, buy chocolate also tak jadi,
Go shopping ask for discount, salesman will show their face so funny,
Tell you no discount, don't waste time go back home play tai tee,
Ever got many many girls in KL all pretty, sexy lili,
I always want chase them but they always lari,
Cause they say I no money and face look like donkey,


So hor, money not very easy to get li,
So we must appreciate the money,
So I already want end my story,
Hope you all got enjoy syok syok laugh lai laugh khi.


peace out
Current feeling :- not down...but bored...and hence the stupid poem above.

I'mma in China man....weeee...no shit, serious...
I've been here since January and I'll probably be here for another 2 years plus...
You know the feeling you get when you enter a foreign country??
You know.......the culture differences...the people...the language...the language and the language??
Man I've dropped shit on the Chinese people in Kay Elle before and I'mma gonna drop a whole load more crap...


You see...after the ending of a very terrible and traumatic first sem in uni, I had told myself, "Dude...you gots to learn up mandarin man...or at least...make do like you actually understand what the fuck these people are saying...nod your head at whatever shit they're spitting out...you don't really care what they say...Dude...learn up mandarin...or yous gonna gets pawned"


So I went back to uni for the start of the 2nd sem which was just right after the New Year...All went well...Yes...I still have no freaking clue what people are trying to say...and I still don't care. But being the paranoid bastard that I am, I keep getting the chills...you know...the feeling you get when someone spits something in Chinese and you realise that that asshole might just be stabbing you in the back? Yeah...I've been having this feeling for the past few weeks...no idea why...and suddenly...this place feels like China. You walk to a bunch of friends :- MANDARIN...another bunch of friends:-MANDARIN...walk to the canteen uncle:-MANDARIN....to the kopi tiam outside:- MANDARIN...It's China I tell you...it's freaking China...nobody speaks any other language except mandarin...


Pissed...and today...I got a surprise from somebody...It's all in Chinese...I wouldn't have given a fuck but then...check it out :-

A friend of mine told me it was some loan-shark shit...I've taken the liberty to blacken out the number...just in case these bastards tak rak syok that I advertised for them on the net...

On the back of the card....
No shit Sherlock...Thanx for figuring the obvious...Money is indeed a problem....

Now do you people believe me when I say I'm in China?? Their English suck so much balls...I would have corrected their English and make them sound more professional...all they need to pay me was just a box of cigarettes...

More news...I've moved in to a new place...all's great...I have a wonderful room...with windows...directly beside the common corridor...which is used by just about every other asshole living on the same floor. Now what's fucked up is that these people just can't shut the hell up...they have to walk around shouting and screaming and you've guessed it right...in mandarin. So it's like you're sleeping and you're having a dream about getting laid by some Jap pr0n star(it's pr0n now...not porn) but then these young fucks start walking past your window speaking some unknown crap...waking you up...getting you pissed...and you'll be having your shit ruined for the rest of the day.

Oh and 1 more thing...In China(or Kay Elle if you like to call it) they make probably the worst sundae cones in the whole friggin universe...The sundae cones here suck shit...serious...you'd walk into Mc'D...hoping for a sundae cone that looks like...

but instead...you get something that looks just about like this...

Now ain't that the shittiest sundae cone you've ever seen in your life?? I swear...I didn't do shit to that disaster of a sundae cone...I just bit off the top...sad indeed...I paid RM1.50 plus tax for a pile of horse shit...Oh well...being a chocolate top sundae cone...I still finished it...cause everybody knows chocolate top sundae cones kick so much ass...

peace out...
current feeling:- down but glad that my mild sevens are here to accompany me...