I know I know. I haven't been posting for a while now and that's because I'm too lazy.Only reason I'm writing now is to talk about the few movies I've watched in the past few months. In my last post, I complained that the movie Transformers had nancy-boy action scenes and the gun/fist fights would have rivaled the ones in The Teletubbies.

However, following that, Die Hard 4.0 was released. I came out of the cinema with my face smashed in. That's right. There were so many explosions, gun fights, car chase scenes and action that I had to download the movie off the net and watched it for another 5 times before I could take everything in. I swear to god that within 5 minutes of the show there were already explosions. And not your pansy-boy hand grenades...it was a C4 explosion. And whoever said that Maggie Q is hot, oh well, let's just say that you and me can never be friends.

Following that, I watched the movie 300 which was downloaded. I love the movie to bits. Not because of the many half naked guys with 6-pack abs which would have given a homosexual a hardon (this is for you, JC and Yap...hahaha) but because there was so much slashing and chopping that you can easily see arms and heads and legs flying about.

After that, due to some arrangements which I have forgotten, I caught the movie Enchanted. You heard me right. Enchanted...the Disney princess, musical, feel good movie. Only problem is I didn't feel good. I swear to god I would have slept through the whole movie if it wasn't for tits. You didn't read wrong. Tits. You know...Titties, boobies, fun bags, milk bags, twin turbo, breasts, twin towers, spotlights, or whatever you call it. Those 2 bags of fat. It all sounds wrong when a girl tells you that her tits are only just 2 bags of fat. Be it 2 bags of fat or 2 bags of silicon, we guys still love titties. Here's the princess of the movie in a typical scene:

TITSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Apparently, it is very normal to see Disney princesses in hot revealing outfits. Such examples include:

The cartoon version of the princess from Enchanted.

Need I say more?

See how Aladdin is scoping some cleavage while the blue dude and the monkey can't get enough of ass...

7-star pornography if you know what I mean...

Now I know the reason why I loved Disney cartoons so much when I was young. It was not the story line. It was not the funny dialog (if there is any). It was because of the tits. Hot princesses with tits. You can't go wrong with that. You would think that Disney being a family-oriented company would produce films with princesses with more conservative clothings. I know of some people who have told me to grow up and accept the fact that it's the 21st century and a little flesh shown around is common.

Let's do some maths. If you are telling me that it is acceptable to show a little flesh as it is already the 21st century, you are giving the notion that it is acceptable to wear less and show more as the years progress. Assuming that the amount of clothes and the time frame can be made into a graph, we would have:

In simpler terms, we are making a big U-turn in terms of clothing. As time progresses people will start to wear less and show more until they reach a stage, aptly named the stone-age, where people will be seen walking around with only leaves covering their privates. Anyways, who makes up all these rules anyways? About it's okay to show more cos it's the 21st century...

By the way, if you turn the parental control thingy on Yahoo off like I always do, you can easily find Disney porn in Yahoo images by typing simple words like "Disney, Ariel, Sleeping beauty etc." This brings the question...what kind of sick mother fucker enjoys Disney porn?

Moving on, the latest movie I watched was Rambo. Seriously, if I could make one movie the most potong stim movie in the world, it would have to be Rambo. I'm not saying the movie is bad. The movie is good. Too good in fact. There was so much violence and gore that it could have turned a gay man straight. Problem is, it is a little too short. It keeps you wanting for more. The climax where Rambo shoots everyone's heads, legs and arms off with a mounted machine gun was great. And being an avid Rambo fan, I was hoping that he would jump into the fray and start chopping and slicing baddies like he used to do in the last 3 Rambos. However it stops at the machine gun. Oh well.

You know you can't go wrong when you have a poster of Rambo with a parang in it.

I can't really remember the other movies I have watched. I'm sure there're a lot more. Will keep you guys updated. Cheerio.

Finally, I've watched the transformers. Right now you would probably be expecting me to say how much I love the movie, and how great it felt to be turned into a 7 year old once again, and how awesome those transforming vehicles/robots were. Not today mates.


I was a little disappointed. I had expected much more. I entered the cinema, hoping to exit as an excited 7 year old. Instead, I came out as someone who got interrupted while masturbating to Japanese porn = UNSATISFIED. Spoilers ahead. If you haven't seen it, that's your loss.


After the movie, I discussed about how good......or how bad the movie was with a couple of friends. Everyone agreed that the fight scenes were too cool...except me. Everyone agreed the transforming part was awesome...I agreed to a certain extent. But most of all, everyone agreed it was one of the best movies they've seen in a long time...NO! JUST NO!


Let me point out a couple of flaws that some of you might have overlooked while you were busy being a 7 year old. Gun fights. Where in the fucking hell were all the gun fights? Ironhide was introduced as a weapon's specialist. So I waited in anticipation hoping that I would have my face smashed with millions of explosions. All he did was jumped around and fired 1-2 rounds of missiles. And all that was done in slow motion so he would look cool. No...Just fucking no. If you're a weapon's specialist, you would be firing missiles and chain guns and laser beams non stop so that all the audience could hear for the next couple of minutes were BOOM, BOOM and BOOM. And fine, they've turned Megatron (my favourite of all time) into a Star Wars like fighter plane. So shoot some missiles already. I swear to god Megatron only fired 1 shot from his blaster throughout the whole movie. Excluding gun fights from a transformers' duel is like being sent to heaven, only to know that heaven is full of nerdy, do-goody people and no hot chicks. Disappointing.


So instead of gun fights, these robots, who are supposed to be superbly technologically advanced, relied on the old hand-to-hand combat. Mehhhhh...Now the melee combats would have looked cool if they actually punched one another. Instead, all they do is grab on to each other and roll around all over the place. So all you see is a round ball of flashy metal rolling around, something which would have given Joe the Mechanic a hardon.


Also, the movie failed to instill any sense of panic in me. The first time I saw Armageddon or Independence Day, I was so engrossed into all that end of the world shit. Not for the Transformers though. They've done such a good job that there were scenes where people were just standing and watching while the robots were fighting just 5 feet away from them. What? All of a sudden the Americans are not afraid of giant killing robots? What about that scene where Optimus was fighting god-knows-who in front of this kid and his mom? I was silently wishing so hard that the kid wouldn't turn around and tell his mom "Wow...cool!!". But he did. How predictable. And uncool.


Also, the robots. Now if you're gonna make them look so cool, with all that transforming and stuff, why didn't the writers give them cool attitudes as well. I was like "I can't believe I'm seeing this...It's embarassing." during the scene where the Autobots tried to hide themselves from being seen by the guy's parents. Ironhide complaining his foot might rust because the dog peed on him? Not cool. Bumblebee pouring lubricant on the S7 guy? Not funny. Worst of all...Optimus Prime saying "Woops...my bad." OH MY GOD! "Woops...my bad" is something muttered by your modern hip-hop black-wannabe teenager...not by a leader of one of the factions of robots which have been fighting all over the galaxy. In their justice, they did say that they downloaded and used human speech patterns from the Internet...whatever that is.


I agree with a friend of mine who said that the writers and directors are trying to combine too many genres into one movie. Romance, comedy and action. Here's a message to all future directors. Action and comedy DON' FUCKING GO TOGETHER. PERIOD. Nobody wants to see a cool weapon-wielding robot saying how his feet will rust because of dog pee. I'm sorry but I really can't get over this. Rust. Bahhh. Worse...nobody wants to know about the little romance thing between the lead actors and actress. We want to see more robots!! For crying out loud the movie's called The Transformers...not Boy Meets Girl And Falls In Love While Robots Fight In The Background.


Finally, I wouldn't say that I've been totally disappointed. I mean it was a joy to see my childhood heroes in a real life movie. But it could have been better. They should have hired me. I would have directed a movie with so much explosions that you would feel like you have just been kicked in the face.



In other news...cigarette prices are up again and I quote from the Finance Ministry "the move was in line with the Government’s effort to encourage a healthy lifestyle and to curb social problems due to smoking especially among youngsters."
WHAT SOCIAL PROBLEMS???
I smoke...do I look like someone who goes around causing problems to society?
What? Do I go around raping women? Do I go around stealing cars? Do I go around Mat Rempiting with my bike? Wooops..Those are just the Malays.

I will never figure out why the Government refuses to ban cigarettes all together if they are so "concerned" about my lifestyle. Oh yes...I am sure McDonalds contributes to a healthy lifestyle. I am sure teh tarik and nasi lemak and roti canai contribute to a healthy lifestyle. I am sure glu sniffing contributes to a healthy lifestyle too. What about cough medicine? Ecstasy pills? Alcohol?

Leave the fucking cigarettes alone you stupid cunts. Stop showing you care just because you have control over the pricing of cigarettes. Grow some balls. Ban cough medicine...alcohol...whatever.

----As of now, a box of cigarettes cost RM8.00 compared to RM5 two years ago----

I was reading the newspapers earlier when I finally realised why I find it hard to come up with new topics to blog. There was this article in The Star by some guy whom I can't remember the name and am too lazy to go through the papers again to find out. I just remembered his surname was Wong.


He stated that Malaysians are becoming a boring and less humorous lot because of the concept of "political correctness" which first started out in the USA. That means, if we make jokes about races, we're a racist. If we make jokes about the opposite sex, we're a sexist. And funnily enough if we make jokes about the homosexuals, we're a homophobic (that's for you gays in UTAR..hahahaha..you know who I mean). In other words, we have to becareful when we speak or crack jokes so as not to hurt the group we are making fun of...that is, if they happened to hear us. Obviously, Mr Wong isn't very happy about this and guess what...so am I. I guess I have been trying to tone down on the way I blog because I was afraid of offending or hurting some people. Well you know what? Fuck that.


I'm going to start off first with those people who are complaining about the 10 cent hike in the price of a plate of roti canai. FUCK YOU! It's only 10 bloody cents, assholes. You can walk around Bukit Bintang for 10 minutes and yet collect enough 10 cents to start a bloody coin collection. Didn't the government just raised the salaries of civil servants? But who are increasing the revenue of the mamaks? The 10 cent hike is fucking justifiable since wheat flour now has gone up by 15 cents a kilo. But less you forget, to prepare a plate of roti canai with a bowl of curry takes a lot of work. Why should the mamaks be on standby 24 hours a day just so they can earn 80 fucking cents from you?


I'm amazed how people can complain so much even if the price of roti canai goes up to 90 cents. Let me do a simple calculation for you.

Assume one has a piece of roti canai for 3 of one's daily meals.
Using the old pricing :- 3 x 80 cents = 2.40 a day x 30 = 72.00 a month
Using the new pricing :- 3 x 90 cents = 2.70 a day x 30 = 81.00 a month

A rise of 9 bucks...9 fucking bucks!! Under the government scheme, the poorest groups of civil servants will receive a pay rise of several hundred ringgit(if I'm not mistaken 200-400). Plus the government has increased the cost of living allowance by 100%. So now, you fucking political correct bastards can not say that a price hike in roti canai would be a burden on the poorer groups. I'm sure they don't even eat roti canai for their 3 meals so why complain?


Next on the agenda, Paris Hilton. I'm sure you guys know that I hate her and that she makes my blood boils everytime she appears on the papers. So you had no idea how happy I was when I read that she was going to spend 40 something days in jail, which unfortunately, had been reduced to 20 something days on the grounds of good conduct. Good conduct? GOOD CONDUCT??!?!?!? Since when does Paris Fucking Hilton and Good Conduct go hand in hand? Here is someone who has broken the law and yet had her sentence halved because apparently, she behaved well. Last I heard, she's trying to appeal to the state governer(who happens to be that guy from Terminator) to abolish her sentence. NOT FUCKING FAIR! Why should Arnold give a flying fuck about Paris? I swear to god if Swashbucklerburger abolishes her sentence, I would hold a sacrificial ritual where I denounce my faith in Arnold and burn the Terminator DVD box set that I bought.


Unfortunately that's it for now. Getting sleepy. Will continue another time.

I would wish to follow up my earlier post about the sexist remarks made by the two MPs. As I said, MP Fong didn't show enough wit to stand up to the two MPs. Here's a video of the Opposition party demanding an apology from the MPs.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QxDZ0UJXIc0&mode=related&search=

As DAP leader Lim Kit Siang mentioned, in the heat of the argument nobody really took notice of the remarks made by the two MPs. However, it seems like the media decided to make this into an issue. Thanks to MP Fong however, who I'm sure didn't notice the remarks as well and had to rely on the media, the issue was made even bigger and in some parts, even seemed like a move to try and outdo the ruling party's MPs. Perhaps a publicity stunt to garner more votes for the next elections? Perhaps MP Fong could have learn from her fellow party member, Ipoh Barat MP Kulasegeran. MP Kulasegeran showed exactly what I have been trying to stress. Enough wit and poise to actually give a reply where the two MPs would find themselves in a lost for words without trying to hard to make this issue into a disaster.


Here's the video of the remarks made...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xqnw-q93wyc


As we can see, after the remarks had been made, the MPs had the cheek to have a good laugh about it. As I have said earlier, they were definitely in the wrong and an apology is needed here.


On a more personal note, I am quite disappointed that the Dewan Rakyat is just as noisy and "huru-hara" as a pasar malam. I've been to high school debates which are less messy than the Dewan Rakyat meeting. I used to think that the MPs would sit around and discuss in a highly civilized way about current issues. But from the videos, with sexist remarks being made and insults being hurled from all over the place, I am sorely disappointed. But if this is how the Dewan Rakyat discuss daily issues, who am I to change it right?


Also, I can see why DAP is now the strongest Opposition party. I have found new respect for DAP leader Lim Kit Siang who seemed like a charismatic MP who is actually brave enough to raise issues to be discussed with the ruling party. Most of the time I read about him in newspapers but to see him challenge MP after MP of the ruling party, it was enjoyable. Not because I do not like the ruling party. But because, sometimes, the ruling party needs to be reminded not to be too lacking in their job in running the country.

I read with much amusement the news concerning the sexist remarks made by 2 male MPs to a female MP recently which have grabbed headlines in the newspapers for the past week or so. It is amazing how such a small issue can be blown out of proportion and now, it seems like everybody else is just focusing on this issue alone.


It all started when opposition MPs tried to raise a motion on the leaking ceiling near the media centre during a meeting of the Dewan Rakyat. MP for Jasin, Datuk Mohd Said Yusof and MP for Kinabatangan, Datuk Bung Mokthar Radin then said, “Mana bocor? Batu Gajah pun bocor setiap bulan.” (Where is the leak? Batu Gajah (MP Fong Po Kuan) also leaks every month.)


And before we know it, women's groups, some gay men and even the Women, Family and Community Development Minister Datuk Seri Shahrizat Abdul Jalil vented their frustration and criticised the two MPs for not only making sexist remarks in Parliment but also failing to apologise to both MP Fong Po Kuan and the public.


As I said, this issue has been going on for a week or so and yet, the real issue at hand has not been resolved : the actual leak in the media centre. Now do you agree with me when I say Malaysians love to fan the fire and make a big issue out of something so insignificant? In my opinion, each and every person involved in this issue is in the wrong. Yes, the two MPs were wrong for making a sexist remark during a meeting in Parliment and one would certainly question their level of education. Lest we forget, MP Fong Po Kuan and Datin Shahrizat were also in the wrong.


So why then, you ask, did I say MP Fong was also wrong in this issue? I am quite sure that a certain degree of education, wittiness and street-smartness is in need in order for one to become a MP. So what if they made sexist remarks? Couldn't MP Fong accepted their insult with grace and dignity and perhaps come up with a witty and intellectual insult to hand back to the MPs? This only reminds me of the Queen Elizabeth and George Bush case.


The president just barely stopped himself before dating the queen to 1776.
"You've helped our nation celebrate its bicentennial in 17 -- in 1976," Bush said at a White House ceremony as he noted the queen's long history of dealing with successive U.S. governments. Did the Queen got angry with Bush? Did the British felt insulted and wanted to go to war with the Americans? Of course not. With a playful grin, the queen opened a dinner toast to the president saying: "I wondered whether I should start this toast by saying, 'When I was here in 1776...'


The Queen has shown how an educated and wise person, a dignified and witty woman, a leader of a modern First World country, should behave. Couldn't MP Fong have done the same? As a matter of fact, most Malaysians usually run their mouths off without thinking properly. I am sure somewhere in your life you have debated with a kiasu Malaysian before...you know, those who keep talking and never listen. They come up with fact after fact and logic after logic that you feel as though you are being stomped to the ground with no chance to get back up whatsoever.


MP Fong and all those people who are being stomped should pick up the attitude and mentality of the Chinese in the old days. Those Hong Kong and China costume dramas always depict how a wise man would answer a question not before slowly stroking his beard and gazing into the horizon all the while laughing heartily. The point I want to make is that one should think properly and use as much time as possible to come up with a reply/answer/insult that is not only witty/intellectual but also good enough that you earn the respect of your opposition. Back to MP Fong, there will always be another chance to get back at the MPs, maybe through another insult or through your jasa to the rakyat. No need for making this into such a big public issue.


Now for Datuk Seri Shahrizat, instead of letting all three MPs settle this issue themselves, she had to come in and fan the fire by bringing in women's groups and demanding for an apology, all this while making it sound like we men are always out and about insulting women. This is definitely uncalled for. Under the constitution of Malaysia, each person is given the freedom of speech and also to bear whatever consequences from this freedom. So the MPs made a sexist remark. So what? They will get their punishment in due time. The rakyat are not stupid and insensitive. We will definitely want to see action taken on the two MPs. But please, Datuk Seri, we do not need constant reminders about the issue from you or the women's groups in the newspapers. There are more important things to look out for.


As for the two MPs, it is clearly wrong to make such a remark in a formal meeting, what more in a Dewan Rakyat meeting. To not apologise after a week or so just shows how undeserving of the MP title and how ungentlemanly and MCP-ish you people can be. As I said, one must bear the consequences and I truly believe that in order to set things straight, an apology is definitely called for here

.
If these are the people supposedly running our country, I can see why Malaysia is always labeled as a country with First World infrastructures with a Third World mentality. No no. This doesn't end with only the MPs. Generally, everyone is the same, including me. Your overcharging taxi drivers, lacklusture public services, and many more all share this Third World mentality. Well who can we really blame when even our MPs are behaving like that? We do not have proper role models. I think Malaysians should choose its leaders not because of his/her popularity but of his/her intelligence and dedication to improving the country. MPs of today?? Bahhh..a childish lot and yet...more enjoyable then any sitcoms/dramas that I know of.

Nowadays, it seems like children are being used as an excuse for people with too much free time to spread their false propaganda around the world. Oh look, don't mind the fact that it was us who polluted the earth in the first place, let's now protect the environment for the sake of our children. Oh no, kids getting obese? Throw away the fact that it was the government that allowed the sprouting up of fast food restaurants in the first place. Now, let's ban the bloody advertisements.


Look people. Will you please stop trying to protect the children now? First off, they don't care about the bloody environment and I bet they'd rather be obese then say, forced to dine on organic biscuits made and recycled from human faeces, for the rest of their lives. Nobody did the same during my generation. The generation before me didn't bother about the environment and hence, the extinction of several species of plants and animals and dinosaurs which are wickedly cool. So, if the generation before me didn't bother about us (my generation), why the fuck should I bother about the future generation?


I do not know why people are so protective about their children nowadays. Truthfully, I'd rather get shot in the head then to have children...perhaps something I might regret saying when the time comes but who cares. Yes, children are cute, children are lovely. But if I had children, I would gladly sell them off to researchers for them to conduct medical experiments, and put that money into my "Ferrari F430 Fund", which currently stands at 6 cents.


Now a Ferrari...it doesn't cry in the middle of the night just because it pooped its pants. It doesn't go rebellious and demand for freedom. What it does is it takes you from 0-96kph in 3.9 seconds and all the way to a heart thumping top speed of 318kph. What it does is it turns your life from stressful and depressed to exciting and bewildering with just a turn of a key. Having kids however is just the exact opposite of owning a Ferrari. So you do the math and you tell me what you think.



The car I would gladly sell my children off for...behold the magnificent!!

You know what irks me even more. People trying to get smoking banned......because it is hazardous ONLY to the children it seems. Somehow the notion that second hand smoke is unhealthy for regular adults did not quite get the attention it warranted but, with the addition of children being harmed by second hand smoke, people actually took notice. These are the same high class people who drive around in SUVs which incidentally pollutes more than a stick of cigarette, and can also tell you to save the environment in a straight face, all while sipping a bowl of shark's fin soup.


Do you really want to know why all these "save the environment campaigns" and "ban smoking campaigns" failed? Because ordinary people like you and me, don't really give a fuck. We as humans, or more particularly Malaysians, are calculative to the last ringgit. If the above campaigns do not benefit us financial wise, why should we even bother...right? So this I can tell, that the government's plan of banning junk food advertisements will not reduce the rate of obesity. The govenment is only contradicting themselves. Yes, they will ban advertisements but at the same time they will allow even more fast food restaurants to open up. So what fucking difference does it make?

There has been a lot of talk lately about Jeremy Clarkson labelling the Perodua Kelisa as the worst car in the world. I've been a big Clarkson fan for some years now and to tell you honestly, that video of him bashing the Kelisa was already out and about in 2005. And for Malaysia to only start defending it's second national car-maker now just goes to show how slow we are in receiving news, be it good or bad, or in a more local slang, how offbeat we are.


An article from the BBC:-

Top Gear host Jeremy Clarkson has come under attack in the Malaysian parliament for labelling one of the country’s cars the worst in the world.

The BBC presenter has been filmed attacking the Perodua Kelisa with a sledgehammer before blowing it up.

But minister Abdul Raman Suliman defended the nation’s car industry, saying Mr Clarkson was like a football commentator who cannot play football.
He told MPs, Perodua had not received a single complaint from British owners.
He added that the comments were made merely to boost sales of the Top Gear magazine.

Mr Clarkson has voiced his frustrations with the small three-cylinder model in both magazine articles and on the Top Gear motoring show.

In one article, he said its name was like a disease and suggested it was built in jungles by people who wear leaves for shoes.

And on the show, he described it as “unimaginative junk, with no soul, no flair and no passion”.
He then smashed it, hung it from a crane with a one-tonne weight attached, before blowing it up.

Perodua is Malaysia’s second national carmaker and began producing small compact models in 1995.

The video can be seen here:-
http://paultan.org/archives/2005/12/19/jeremy-clarkson-annihilates-the-perodua-kelisa/


Judging from the comments made my minister Abdul Rahman Saliman and the comments made by the visitors to the website above, you could tell that they all share one thing in common :-

The typical Malaysian mentality of kiasu-ness.


Some people judge the credibility of Clarkson. They want to know who is this Englishman who suddenly decided to take a swipe at Perodua. Mr. Clarkson, ladies and gentleman, is one of the few men in this world who has been given the priviledge to test out different cars and to give an impartial and unbiased view about the cars he tested. He is not paid by any high flying corporations to promote their brand. He has tested various types of cars, from million dollar sports cars, to family vans and 4x4s, to budget,low-cost cars and even second hand cars.


Yes, he said the Kelisa is the worst car in the world and yes, most Malaysians are unhappy and wants Clarkson dead. But that's so typical of Malaysians. They get so overprotective about themselves. These are the same people who would gladly tell you to fuck off when you tell them that the food served in their favourite restaurant tastes as good as a bucket of horse manure.


Why can't Malaysians accept the fact that the Kelisa is indeed rubbish? I've been driven in a Kelisa before and to tell you the truth, sitting in the passenger side of a car the size of a shoe and going through our famous pot-hole filled Malaysian roads is as comfortable as falling down a flight of stairs. Sure it is a low cost car and we shouldn't complain about the quality we get for RM30-40k but why isn't Perodua trying to improve their products? Clarkson once criticized Vauxhall (a British car brand) and sales dropped immediately. That was years ago and now, the new Vauxhall cars are getting better better.


Malaysians should stop being overprotective with themselves and should receive criticisms with an open mind and strive to improve themselves. I receive criticisms almost daily for being fat, lazy and also being a smoker. But I do not go ape shit and start hitting everyone in the face with a shovel. I accept their criticisms with an open mind. Do I improve myself? Yes I do. I'm walking more, studying more and smoking more. There you go....improvements.