Get a life, you bunch of whiners(PART 1)

I assume everyone here knows about this section in The Star newspaper called Big Bro??
I've been reading it for the last...I donno....5-6 years...
Basically Big Bro is sort of like the Agony Aunt kinda thingy...
Some depressed whack will write in to Big Bro seeking advice about whatever problems he/she is currently facing in life...
It used to be the section I look forward to every week....
But recently there's nothing but jackshit in it..so...fare ye well Big Bro...You've just lost a fan...

The below is a small section of Big Bro in this week's papers...

"I AM a 14-year-old girl. I've had three ex-boyfriends and each relationship lasted for around a month..........I seldom called him cause I don't have my own mobile phone and I was afraid that my parents would find out about the relationship.......I cried for hours even during class.....I invited him to my birthday party but he didn't turn up......I am so upset......."

---Teddy Bear,Kuantan---

And Big Bro replies....
"bla bla bla bla bla"

Fine...I never did really read what Big Bro replied...His/Her English is so damn(and I really mean it) good that I always got lost somewhere between the 1st and the 3rd sentence....yeah yeah...I only read the 1st 3 sentences...so sue me...
Referring back to Teddy Bear from Kuantan....her letter was so damn freakin long it was an instant turn off...
Yes...most of the time I would scan these losers' letters for the word SEX...but all I could see in her letter was..."bla bla boo-hooo...I can't get this guy...so upset...boo-hoo-hoo"

Pgslacker's reply(if he ever decided to take up the job as Agony Aunt or Uncle):-

"Dear Teddy Bear,
Please...do GET A LIFE! I am sad...Yes I truly am...NOT for you...BUT for your parents.
It is most unfortunate for them to have a daughter who monkeys around with guys behind their backs at this tender age(Refer to RED WORDS up above). I would seriously recommend that you pay more attention to your studies instead of crying in class...who knows...you might just get a tight slap from your English teacher for not listening to him/her yak about literature. Please do not write back to me seeking for advice anymore...I have totally no interest at all to know what's going on in your life...Kill yourself for all I care....please...GET A LIFE...."

By the way...instead of encouraging her to pursue her studies, Big Bro actually encouraged her to continue stalking whoever that unfortunate fellow is...
***Dude...I feel for you....It sucks having a buffalo stalking us...ain't it??***