jEsUs..wOmEn cAn'T fUcKinG dRiVe aNd WiLL I diE sOoN?

Okay...I've been holding back this topic for a damned long time but I finally have to post it up after what happened today...
Fuck I was out driving for about an hour and I nearly met with not 1..not 2 but 3 accidents...
Surprise...surprise(I wasn't actually)...they were all women drivers...
I will not bore you with how these deadly(but gorgeous) females nearly accidentally(or deliberately) robbed me of my life today...but all I can say is all 3 events can be summed up below....

ATTITUDES OF WOMEN BEHIND THE WHEEL
1) Overestimates car (e.g. woman in BMW 318i who shot across the road when I was just 3.21389043209 feet from her....stupid bitch....)
2) Bad judgement of road(e.g. woman in white Iswara who couldn't do a U turn properly and nearly ramming my car....fuckin shit)
3) Not looking at side view mirror(e.g. woman in white Saga cut into my lane and not noticing I was just freaking beside her...blind biatch)

THINGS TO DO BEFORE GOING OUT FOR A DRIVE
1) Equip self with crash helmet and racing seat belts...
2) Pray before God and ask for forgiveness...May He protect me from the she-devils on the roads...
3) Take car to prey before Indian God...May He protect my baby from any damage...
4) Fix a woman-sensing device on car...May the sensor beep whenever a woman driver is around...

I'm afraid I might die 1 day in the hands of one of these woman drivers....So....

THINGS TO DO BEFORE I DIE
1) Get a girlfriend - CHECKED
2) Go clubbing - CHECKED
3) See(only see...not try) prostitutes - CHECKED
4) Have sex -
5) Have a drink with a mafia boss -
6) Beat the holy hell out of some member of the public -
7) Kamikaze crash into a woman driver -
8) Kamikaze crash into a woman driver -
9) Kamikaze crash into a woman driver -
10) Kamikaze crash into a woman driver -




I had this nightmare the other day....I dreamt that the "Grim Reaper" paid me a visit...He was sort of like a Nazgul...you know...black robes...black hood...face that can't be seen....
Well what do you know....he told me my "time" was up.....and before I knew it...BANG...there was a flash of white light...and I was in hell...
Yeah...It was nothing like the hell they depicted in Constantine...totally different....
And then...BANG...another flash of white light...and I woke up...
Woooo...Looks like I'm gonna be dead soon....
Now about that list of things to do before I die...Hmmm.......