A car review...or something like that...Part 1:- the locals

While watching another episode of Top Gear, which is an automotive show hosted by Jeremy Clarkson, I came to realise that in my 3-4 years of driving, I've been behind the wheel of enough cars to actually host my own car review show. This is sort of a budget car review show because the only cars I've ever driven were Protons so please don't come up to me telling me your Honda or Toyota is a much better car. This post, I'm guessing, is pretty long so without wasting precious time, here we go.


Now the first car that I've ever driven was way back in 2002. It was a sort of training exam which I had to take at the JPJ test circuit and the car was called the Perodua Kancil. Words cannot describe how much I absolutely hate that car. Sure it was based on the Daihatsu Mira if I'm not mistaken but come on. The car makes you have the impression that it was built for your average Malaysian/Japansese/Asian whom must be not much than 4 inches taller than a dwarf. For those hovering around the 6 foot region, it is an absolute nightmare to be driving one of these. Even getting into the car is a chore to me. I have to :-

1) Push the seat all the way to the back
2) Insert myself into the seat, backside first.
3) Bring in my left leg, tucking it under the steering wheel in the process.
4) And finally bring in my right leg.

Since I'm supposed to be driving in a JPJ exam, shoes were a must and being the fat bloke that I am, I have pretty large feet. Which also means that whenever I were to step on the brakes, there's a chance(I reckon 100% chance) that I will be stepping on both the brake AND accelerator pedals at the same time. Yes, because the freaking car is so small. What about the comforts? Now to clear things up, I am not a pussy driver. I do not rely on aids like ABS and traction control when I drive(if I even have any). I have no time to check out any satellite navigation systems(again if I have any) or fiddle around with the radio. I just want a car, not a home entertainment system. And oh yeah, about the comforts, there're none in this car.

Sure some people would argue that with it's small displacement engine(660cc), it is rather fuel efficient. Well for the people who would still persist on getting a Kancil after reading my review, I would suggest you get one of these:-

Yes. It's a car carnival ride. It is just as fuel efficient since it is running on electricity. It has the same amount of space as a Kancil, with no comforts too. It is so much more better looking than a Kancil. And it will do 0-60mph in about the same time as a Kancil :- 4 days. Well what are you waiting for?

Moving on, after receiving my license, I had the the priviledge of driving my mom's car, which was a 1.5 Wira Aeroback with an Automatic gearbox. I was excited. Not because the car was good in any way but because I don't have to drive that shoe-box they call a Kancil anymore. Now the Wira at first glance is sporty. The 13 inch stock rims do not do justice to it's looks. In the car, you ride much lower to the ground compared to a Kancil. Which also means that if you're an 80 year old with cracking bones, you might want to take a look at some other cars. Everything from the exterior to the interior of the car is acceptable. Until...you turn on the engine.

With a displacement of 1.5, you would think that this car would fly(if compared to the Kancil) the moment you step on the accelerator. Boy, you are so wrong. It is not so much the engine at fault here but rather, the gearbox. It is stupid. It is lazy. It is dreadful. And it has ONLY 3 GEARS. What were Proton thinking? Because of the lack of gears and the well spaced out ratio, acceleration from standstill is like waiting for your bull to finish crapping before it continues to pull on your bullock cart. Be warned again that if you're an 80 year old with cracking bones, the steering wheel would literally kill you. It is heavy. It is gripless. Parking with the Wira is a chore. Resting your hand on the gear lever is not recommended for a slight movement of your hand would pull the gear from Drive(which is also D) to second gear (shown as 2) or from Drive to Neutral (shown as N). Stupid really.

Overall a much much better car than a Perodua Kancil.

Now since the Wira was my mom's car, my dad decided it'd be better to get me my own car. And thus, the Iswara came into my life. Again, a displacement of 1.5cc, that same bastard of a gearbox and 13 inch tyres. But wait, there's more. It is much lighter than a Wira, and is actually scarrier to drive above 120kph, has bad air conditioning, a radio from the 80's, less interior space, higher ride height, uncomfortable ride and most importantly, my god, it's ugly.

But again, putting that all aside, it was quite a good car. You see, with all the complains above, I've forgotten to mention one singular thing that makes it stand out :- it's light and bigger turning circle steering wheel. Yes ladies and gents, this car has a very light steering wheel which makes one-handed drives as easy as they come. The turning circle is also far greater that the Iswara can make a U-turn at a tighter space than a Wira. With the light weight, acceleration from standstill is...pretty much waiting for a bull to piss instead of crap before it will pull on the bullock cart but still, slightly faster than a Wira.

Body roll is terrible on this one. Every corner you take at high speeds will send the car leaning to the side so bad that if you were crazy enough to put a cup of water on your dashboard like a certain Japanese cartoon, not only will the water spill out, the whole cup would have flung itself out of the window. It was also during this time that I picked up mountain driving. Not from Initial D but from the fact that I rather drive around bends than trying to go fast on a straight road since the Iswara has only a top speed of...6? Driving on the mountain roads were as uncomfortable as it gets. Picture this :- you're climbing up a mountain, revving high in 2nd gear and a 90 degree corner looms up. What you want to do is to release the throttle a bit to enable engine braking so that your car would slow down and also at the same time correct any understeer. Instead, the gearbox shifts up to third the moment you release your foot off the accelerator, the revs are gone, the power is gone, and you start cursing. Of course you might say that I should be playing with the automatic gearbox, adjusting it from D to 2 to 1 and such but it's an automatic for Christ's sake. No use in pretending it is a manual.

After a year or two with the Iswara, it was time for a change. With around Rm40k as a budget and only new cars on my mind(no more second hand cars for me), it went down to either the Perodua Kancil or the Perodua Kelisa or a Perodua Kenari or perhaps another Proton Iswara. Oh and then...there's also the new Proton Saga LMST. I figure the LMST actually means Lunatic Mean Street Thing. Because believe me, this is the best car that I've ever driven. A downgrade to the engine displacement means I only have 1.3cc to play with. Don't be mistaken however because the Saga comes with a 5-speed manual and it absolutely smokes the 1.5 automatics from standstill. It is pretty much like the Iswara. However, with the additional bumpers and sideskirts, it weighs as much as a Wira which also means, it is much more stable around the bends and more planted to the ground at high speeds.

Some say it looks stupid. But to me, styling isn't a problem. It's how the car drives. With 14 inch tyres, it grips better than the 13 inches that I was so accustomed to. With the fitting of new bumpers to the front, braking while driving down a mountain provides a strong grip as the weight of the car is now focused more to the front. Engine braking can be done as it is a manual. And this thing zips around without much effort, thanks to the properly spaced and sufficient gears. Some say that the exhaust is a tad too loud. I say it is perfect. It is not silent like your everyday car nor is it noisy like the high pitch screams coming from a car fitted with a straight-flow exhaust piping. What it is, is a low basy brumble. Not noisy. Not silent. Just on the mark.

There are only 2 comforts in this car. One...is the power window mechanism on the driver's side. The other comfort would have to be the power window on the passenger's side. The car is at it's most basic. No cruise control, no fancy radio, it is...THE driver's car. It still retains the steering mechanism from the Iswara, which means it is light.

However, there are a few problems. With the small engine displacement, driving in it with 3-4 blokes as passengers means there is never enough power for you to ever meet Gear number 5. The power windows malfunction at times. The sealing is bad. You can actually smell the stench of Laksa(yes..i hate laksa...whatever that is) sipping into the car if you happened to be parked around a Laksa stall. Air conditioning brakes down now and then. Plastics clutter. A few pieces of plastic out of place. Wiper washers not working. Wipers not doing the job right and the list goes on. But that's what I like about it. There are a lot of problems like the one above, but there are none whatsoever with the 4 essential parts. Engine. Gearbox. Suspension. Steering wheel. As I have said before, I drive a car not for it's little party tricks but for the feel of the car. So what if the windows and air-cond are not working? So what if the plastics clutter? I don't care. Give me a car and I'll only do 2 things. Drive it fast. And drive it REALLY fast.

Stay tuned for part 2 where I review a Korean and a Japanese car.