oh well...

Man I can't stand Eminem anymore...That white nigga-wannabe has me punching myself in the ears everytime his songs are played over the radio or on television. I don't know...I think it's just me...I can't stand his chipmunk-like voice rapping and dissing and insulting almost everything that walks on two legs...Hey Em...Nobody cares...you get me??

When he first burst into the music scene it was like...culture shock to me man. Here's one guy who's like openly dissing and insulting his mom in his songs...Back then I was going through that rebellious part of my life...you know...the I'm-too-cool-for-school attitude...or...the I'm-from-planet-cool-and-my-parents-from-planet-lame...or the I'm-out-to-break-every-rule-because-I'm-a-rebel sorta stuff...I know...it sounds kinda lame now but damn I was so crazy back then...

Mom :- Go wash the car...
Me :- The maid can do it...
Mom :- Why can't you do it?
Me :- Cause washing cars make me look stupid...and I'll lose my coolness...plus...I'm a rebellion..you geddit?
Mom :- So you going to wash or not??
Me :- Not in a million years ,woman...
Mom :- ***mutters under breath*** stupid rebellious psychopaths...


Forward to 2005:-
Mom :- Go wash the car...
Me :- Yes Maam...


Simple as that...Anyways, back to Em...yeah...I worshipped him for his lyrics and his guts...Heck the guy even flames his wife and I was like "Man this guy kicks so much ass..."
But as the years go on and more albums are produced...I kinda got sick and tired of him. Sure...you diss your mom once and everyone was like "Way to fuck off the old lady, Em..."...you diss your mom again and everyone's like "Dude...your mom again??" and after 342394823 more dissings everyone's now like "We geddit already...you hate your mom...heck...WE hate your mom...fuck her...dude...like sing something original man"


So he goes to do something original by dissing Michael Jackson in his music video...I was like "What the fuck?"...Man, nobody cares bout that child-molesting creep...Yes...he was one big superstar back then but celebrities are weird anyways...Just look at how many of them are trying to revive their careers by filming themselves having sex and "accidentally"(you see...i use " " for accidentally) letting loose the video to the media...


Paris Hilton :- I'm so god-damned famous now because all you perverts have watched my video...Yes...I'm that cheap slut in the video...worship me!!! Now, that's cool!(her trademark phrase it seems...oh wait...nobody cares)

Britney Spears :- I'm as fat as a cow now and I'm trying to revive my dead career by doing a porno movie for you perverts out there...now hit me one more time baby...oh yeah...

Janet Jackson :- Oh damn...nobody listens to my records anymore...perhaps I should get Justin Timberlake to rip off my clothes and show my boobs to the whole world....

Michael Jackson :- I've been black before and now I'm white...I'm rich and I've got almost everything I want...Perhaps I should go molest some boy-kid for the fun of it...Watch out little boys...here I come (insert wicked witch laughter)...

R.Kelly :- Man..me nigga bored...me should fuck 16-year-old kid, record it and spread it on the internet....and that's cool yo...street credzzzz...


So...back to Eminem...I think I speak for everyone when I say "We're tired of your lame-ass songs and your child-like dissings...No...rap music is not alive...you've killed it Whitey...nobody likes your songs and nobody cares about your mom...or your wife...or Michael Jackson or as a matter of fact...you. In this festive season, may you not produce anymore ear-damaging records and may you once just sit in a table together with your family, shut up and try to have a nice dinner together..."


Merry Christmas all...
Man...celebrities suck...