the slacker's hideout

2008-04-09T03:27:00.000-07:00

2008-02-06T10:27:00.000-08:00

I know I know. I haven't been posting for a while now and that's because I'm too lazy.Only reason I'm writing now is to talk about the few movies I've watched in the past few months. In my last post, I complained that the movie Transformers had nancy-boy action scenes and the gun/fist fights would have rivaled the ones in The Teletubbies.

However, following that, Die Hard 4.0 was released. I came out of the cinema with my face smashed in. That's right. There were so many explosions, gun fights, car chase scenes and action that I had to download the movie off the net and watched it for another 5 times before I could take everything in. I swear to god that within 5 minutes of the show there were already explosions. And not your pansy-boy hand grenades...it was a C4 explosion. And whoever said that Maggie Q is hot, oh well, let's just say that you and me can never be friends.

Following that, I watched the movie 300 which was downloaded. I love the movie to bits. Not because of the many half naked guys with 6-pack abs which would have given a homosexual a hardon (this is for you, JC and Yap...hahaha) but because there was so much slashing and chopping that you can easily see arms and heads and legs flying about.

After that, due to some arrangements which I have forgotten, I caught the movie Enchanted. You heard me right. Enchanted...the Disney princess, musical, feel good movie. Only problem is I didn't feel good. I swear to god I would have slept through the whole movie if it wasn't for tits. You didn't read wrong. Tits. You know...Titties, boobies, fun bags, milk bags, twin turbo, breasts, twin towers, spotlights, or whatever you call it. Those 2 bags of fat. It all sounds wrong when a girl tells you that her tits are only just 2 bags of fat. Be it 2 bags of fat or 2 bags of silicon, we guys still love titties. Here's the princess of the movie in a typical scene:

TITSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Apparently, it is very normal to see Disney princesses in hot revealing outfits. Such examples include:

The cartoon version of the princess from Enchanted.

Need I say more?

See how Aladdin is scoping some cleavage while the blue dude and the monkey can't get enough of ass...

7-star pornography if you know what I mean...

Now I know the reason why I loved Disney cartoons so much when I was young. It was not the story line. It was not the funny dialog (if there is any). It was because of the tits. Hot princesses with tits. You can't go wrong with that. You would think that Disney being a family-oriented company would produce films with princesses with more conservative clothings. I know of some people who have told me to grow up and accept the fact that it's the 21st century and a little flesh shown around is common.

Let's do some maths. If you are telling me that it is acceptable to show a little flesh as it is already the 21st century, you are giving the notion that it is acceptable to wear less and show more as the years progress. Assuming that the amount of clothes and the time frame can be made into a graph, we would have:

In simpler terms, we are making a big U-turn in terms of clothing. As time progresses people will start to wear less and show more until they reach a stage, aptly named the stone-age, where people will be seen walking around with only leaves covering their privates. Anyways, who makes up all these rules anyways? About it's okay to show more cos it's the 21st century...

By the way, if you turn the parental control thingy on Yahoo off like I always do, you can easily find Disney porn in Yahoo images by typing simple words like "Disney, Ariel, Sleeping beauty etc." This brings the question...what kind of sick mother fucker enjoys Disney porn?

Moving on, the latest movie I watched was Rambo. Seriously, if I could make one movie the most potong stim movie in the world, it would have to be Rambo. I'm not saying the movie is bad. The movie is good. Too good in fact. There was so much violence and gore that it could have turned a gay man straight. Problem is, it is a little too short. It keeps you wanting for more. The climax where Rambo shoots everyone's heads, legs and arms off with a mounted machine gun was great. And being an avid Rambo fan, I was hoping that he would jump into the fray and start chopping and slicing baddies like he used to do in the last 3 Rambos. However it stops at the machine gun. Oh well.

You know you can't go wrong when you have a poster of Rambo with a parang in it.

I can't really remember the other movies I have watched. I'm sure there're a lot more. Will keep you guys updated. Cheerio.

2007-07-03T02:23:00.000-07:00

Finally, I've watched the transformers. Right now you would probably be expecting me to say how much I love the movie, and how great it felt to be turned into a 7 year old once again, and how awesome those transforming vehicles/robots were. Not today mates.

I was a little disappointed. I had expected much more. I entered the cinema, hoping to exit as an excited 7 year old. Instead, I came out as someone who got interrupted while masturbating to Japanese porn = UNSATISFIED. Spoilers ahead. If you haven't seen it, that's your loss.

After the movie, I discussed about how good......or how bad the movie was with a couple of friends. Everyone agreed that the fight scenes were too cool...except me. Everyone agreed the transforming part was awesome...I agreed to a certain extent. But most of all, everyone agreed it was one of the best movies they've seen in a long time...NO! JUST NO!

Let me point out a couple of flaws that some of you might have overlooked while you were busy being a 7 year old. Gun fights. Where in the fucking hell were all the gun fights? Ironhide was introduced as a weapon's specialist. So I waited in anticipation hoping that I would have my face smashed with millions of explosions. All he did was jumped around and fired 1-2 rounds of missiles. And all that was done in slow motion so he would look cool. No...Just fucking no. If you're a weapon's specialist, you would be firing missiles and chain guns and laser beams non stop so that all the audience could hear for the next couple of minutes were BOOM, BOOM and BOOM. And fine, they've turned Megatron (my favourite of all time) into a Star Wars like fighter plane. So shoot some missiles already. I swear to god Megatron only fired 1 shot from his blaster throughout the whole movie. Excluding gun fights from a transformers' duel is like being sent to heaven, only to know that heaven is full of nerdy, do-goody people and no hot chicks. Disappointing.

So instead of gun fights, these robots, who are supposed to be superbly technologically advanced, relied on the old hand-to-hand combat. Mehhhhh...Now the melee combats would have looked cool if they actually punched one another. Instead, all they do is grab on to each other and roll around all over the place. So all you see is a round ball of flashy metal rolling around, something which would have given Joe the Mechanic a hardon.

Also, the movie failed to instill any sense of panic in me. The first time I saw Armageddon or Independence Day, I was so engrossed into all that end of the world shit. Not for the Transformers though. They've done such a good job that there were scenes where people were just standing and watching while the robots were fighting just 5 feet away from them. What? All of a sudden the Americans are not afraid of giant killing robots? What about that scene where Optimus was fighting god-knows-who in front of this kid and his mom? I was silently wishing so hard that the kid wouldn't turn around and tell his mom "Wow...cool!!". But he did. How predictable. And uncool.

Also, the robots. Now if you're gonna make them look so cool, with all that transforming and stuff, why didn't the writers give them cool attitudes as well. I was like "I can't believe I'm seeing this...It's embarassing." during the scene where the Autobots tried to hide themselves from being seen by the guy's parents. Ironhide complaining his foot might rust because the dog peed on him? Not cool. Bumblebee pouring lubricant on the S7 guy? Not funny. Worst of all...Optimus Prime saying "Woops...my bad." OH MY GOD! "Woops...my bad" is something muttered by your modern hip-hop black-wannabe teenager...not by a leader of one of the factions of robots which have been fighting all over the galaxy. In their justice, they did say that they downloaded and used human speech patterns from the Internet...whatever that is.

I agree with a friend of mine who said that the writers and directors are trying to combine too many genres into one movie. Romance, comedy and action. Here's a message to all future directors. Action and comedy DON' FUCKING GO TOGETHER. PERIOD. Nobody wants to see a cool weapon-wielding robot saying how his feet will rust because of dog pee. I'm sorry but I really can't get over this. Rust. Bahhh. Worse...nobody wants to know about the little romance thing between the lead actors and actress. We want to see more robots!! For crying out loud the movie's called The Transformers...not Boy Meets Girl And Falls In Love While Robots Fight In The Background.

Finally, I wouldn't say that I've been totally disappointed. I mean it was a joy to see my childhood heroes in a real life movie. But it could have been better. They should have hired me. I would have directed a movie with so much explosions that you would feel like you have just been kicked in the face.

In other news...cigarette prices are up again and I quote from the Finance Ministry "the move was in line with the Government’s effort to encourage a healthy lifestyle and to curb social problems due to smoking especially among youngsters."
WHAT SOCIAL PROBLEMS???
I smoke...do I look like someone who goes around causing problems to society?
What? Do I go around raping women? Do I go around stealing cars? Do I go around Mat Rempiting with my bike? Wooops..Those are just the Malays.

I will never figure out why the Government refuses to ban cigarettes all together if they are so "concerned" about my lifestyle. Oh yes...I am sure McDonalds contributes to a healthy lifestyle. I am sure teh tarik and nasi lemak and roti canai contribute to a healthy lifestyle. I am sure glu sniffing contributes to a healthy lifestyle too. What about cough medicine? Ecstasy pills? Alcohol?

Leave the fucking cigarettes alone you stupid cunts. Stop showing you care just because you have control over the pricing of cigarettes. Grow some balls. Ban cough medicine...alcohol...whatever.

----As of now, a box of cigarettes cost RM8.00 compared to RM5 two years ago----

2007-05-25T02:06:00.000-07:00

I was reading the newspapers earlier when I finally realised why I find it hard to come up with new topics to blog. There was this article in The Star by some guy whom I can't remember the name and am too lazy to go through the papers again to find out. I just remembered his surname was Wong.

He stated that Malaysians are becoming a boring and less humorous lot because of the concept of "political correctness" which first started out in the USA. That means, if we make jokes about races, we're a racist. If we make jokes about the opposite sex, we're a sexist. And funnily enough if we make jokes about the homosexuals, we're a homophobic (that's for you gays in UTAR..hahahaha..you know who I mean). In other words, we have to becareful when we speak or crack jokes so as not to hurt the group we are making fun of...that is, if they happened to hear us. Obviously, Mr Wong isn't very happy about this and guess what...so am I. I guess I have been trying to tone down on the way I blog because I was afraid of offending or hurting some people. Well you know what? Fuck that.

I'm going to start off first with those people who are complaining about the 10 cent hike in the price of a plate of roti canai. FUCK YOU! It's only 10 bloody cents, assholes. You can walk around Bukit Bintang for 10 minutes and yet collect enough 10 cents to start a bloody coin collection. Didn't the government just raised the salaries of civil servants? But who are increasing the revenue of the mamaks? The 10 cent hike is fucking justifiable since wheat flour now has gone up by 15 cents a kilo. But less you forget, to prepare a plate of roti canai with a bowl of curry takes a lot of work. Why should the mamaks be on standby 24 hours a day just so they can earn 80 fucking cents from you?

I'm amazed how people can complain so much even if the price of roti canai goes up to 90 cents. Let me do a simple calculation for you.

Assume one has a piece of roti canai for 3 of one's daily meals.
Using the old pricing :- 3 x 80 cents = 2.40 a day x 30 = 72.00 a month
Using the new pricing :- 3 x 90 cents = 2.70 a day x 30 = 81.00 a month

A rise of 9 bucks...9 fucking bucks!! Under the government scheme, the poorest groups of civil servants will receive a pay rise of several hundred ringgit(if I'm not mistaken 200-400). Plus the government has increased the cost of living allowance by 100%. So now, you fucking political correct bastards can not say that a price hike in roti canai would be a burden on the poorer groups. I'm sure they don't even eat roti canai for their 3 meals so why complain?

Next on the agenda, Paris Hilton. I'm sure you guys know that I hate her and that she makes my blood boils everytime she appears on the papers. So you had no idea how happy I was when I read that she was going to spend 40 something days in jail, which unfortunately, had been reduced to 20 something days on the grounds of good conduct. Good conduct? GOOD CONDUCT??!?!?!? Since when does Paris Fucking Hilton and Good Conduct go hand in hand? Here is someone who has broken the law and yet had her sentence halved because apparently, she behaved well. Last I heard, she's trying to appeal to the state governer(who happens to be that guy from Terminator) to abolish her sentence. NOT FUCKING FAIR! Why should Arnold give a flying fuck about Paris? I swear to god if Swashbucklerburger abolishes her sentence, I would hold a sacrificial ritual where I denounce my faith in Arnold and burn the Terminator DVD box set that I bought.

Unfortunately that's it for now. Getting sleepy. Will continue another time.

2007-05-17T11:59:00.000-07:00

I would wish to follow up my earlier post about the sexist remarks made by the two MPs. As I said, MP Fong didn't show enough wit to stand up to the two MPs. Here's a video of the Opposition party demanding an apology from the MPs.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QxDZ0UJXIc0&mode=related&search=

As DAP leader Lim Kit Siang mentioned, in the heat of the argument nobody really took notice of the remarks made by the two MPs. However, it seems like the media decided to make this into an issue. Thanks to MP Fong however, who I'm sure didn't notice the remarks as well and had to rely on the media, the issue was made even bigger and in some parts, even seemed like a move to try and outdo the ruling party's MPs. Perhaps a publicity stunt to garner more votes for the next elections? Perhaps MP Fong could have learn from her fellow party member, Ipoh Barat MP Kulasegeran. MP Kulasegeran showed exactly what I have been trying to stress. Enough wit and poise to actually give a reply where the two MPs would find themselves in a lost for words without trying to hard to make this issue into a disaster.

Here's the video of the remarks made...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xqnw-q93wyc

As we can see, after the remarks had been made, the MPs had the cheek to have a good laugh about it. As I have said earlier, they were definitely in the wrong and an apology is needed here.

On a more personal note, I am quite disappointed that the Dewan Rakyat is just as noisy and "huru-hara" as a pasar malam. I've been to high school debates which are less messy than the Dewan Rakyat meeting. I used to think that the MPs would sit around and discuss in a highly civilized way about current issues. But from the videos, with sexist remarks being made and insults being hurled from all over the place, I am sorely disappointed. But if this is how the Dewan Rakyat discuss daily issues, who am I to change it right?

Also, I can see why DAP is now the strongest Opposition party. I have found new respect for DAP leader Lim Kit Siang who seemed like a charismatic MP who is actually brave enough to raise issues to be discussed with the ruling party. Most of the time I read about him in newspapers but to see him challenge MP after MP of the ruling party, it was enjoyable. Not because I do not like the ruling party. But because, sometimes, the ruling party needs to be reminded not to be too lacking in their job in running the country.

2007-05-17T02:18:00.000-07:00

I read with much amusement the news concerning the sexist remarks made by 2 male MPs to a female MP recently which have grabbed headlines in the newspapers for the past week or so. It is amazing how such a small issue can be blown out of proportion and now, it seems like everybody else is just focusing on this issue alone.

It all started when opposition MPs tried to raise a motion on the leaking ceiling near the media centre during a meeting of the Dewan Rakyat. MP for Jasin, Datuk Mohd Said Yusof and MP for Kinabatangan, Datuk Bung Mokthar Radin then said, “Mana bocor? Batu Gajah pun bocor setiap bulan.” (Where is the leak? Batu Gajah (MP Fong Po Kuan) also leaks every month.)

And before we know it, women's groups, some gay men and even the Women, Family and Community Development Minister Datuk Seri Shahrizat Abdul Jalil vented their frustration and criticised the two MPs for not only making sexist remarks in Parliment but also failing to apologise to both MP Fong Po Kuan and the public.

As I said, this issue has been going on for a week or so and yet, the real issue at hand has not been resolved : the actual leak in the media centre. Now do you agree with me when I say Malaysians love to fan the fire and make a big issue out of something so insignificant? In my opinion, each and every person involved in this issue is in the wrong. Yes, the two MPs were wrong for making a sexist remark during a meeting in Parliment and one would certainly question their level of education. Lest we forget, MP Fong Po Kuan and Datin Shahrizat were also in the wrong.

So why then, you ask, did I say MP Fong was also wrong in this issue? I am quite sure that a certain degree of education, wittiness and street-smartness is in need in order for one to become a MP. So what if they made sexist remarks? Couldn't MP Fong accepted their insult with grace and dignity and perhaps come up with a witty and intellectual insult to hand back to the MPs? This only reminds me of the Queen Elizabeth and George Bush case.

The president just barely stopped himself before dating the queen to 1776.
"You've helped our nation celebrate its bicentennial in 17 -- in 1976," Bush said at a White House ceremony as he noted the queen's long history of dealing with successive U.S. governments. Did the Queen got angry with Bush? Did the British felt insulted and wanted to go to war with the Americans? Of course not. With a playful grin, the queen opened a dinner toast to the president saying: "I wondered whether I should start this toast by saying, 'When I was here in 1776...'

The Queen has shown how an educated and wise person, a dignified and witty woman, a leader of a modern First World country, should behave. Couldn't MP Fong have done the same? As a matter of fact, most Malaysians usually run their mouths off without thinking properly. I am sure somewhere in your life you have debated with a kiasu Malaysian before...you know, those who keep talking and never listen. They come up with fact after fact and logic after logic that you feel as though you are being stomped to the ground with no chance to get back up whatsoever.

MP Fong and all those people who are being stomped should pick up the attitude and mentality of the Chinese in the old days. Those Hong Kong and China costume dramas always depict how a wise man would answer a question not before slowly stroking his beard and gazing into the horizon all the while laughing heartily. The point I want to make is that one should think properly and use as much time as possible to come up with a reply/answer/insult that is not only witty/intellectual but also good enough that you earn the respect of your opposition. Back to MP Fong, there will always be another chance to get back at the MPs, maybe through another insult or through your jasa to the rakyat. No need for making this into such a big public issue.

Now for Datuk Seri Shahrizat, instead of letting all three MPs settle this issue themselves, she had to come in and fan the fire by bringing in women's groups and demanding for an apology, all this while making it sound like we men are always out and about insulting women. This is definitely uncalled for. Under the constitution of Malaysia, each person is given the freedom of speech and also to bear whatever consequences from this freedom. So the MPs made a sexist remark. So what? They will get their punishment in due time. The rakyat are not stupid and insensitive. We will definitely want to see action taken on the two MPs. But please, Datuk Seri, we do not need constant reminders about the issue from you or the women's groups in the newspapers. There are more important things to look out for.

As for the two MPs, it is clearly wrong to make such a remark in a formal meeting, what more in a Dewan Rakyat meeting. To not apologise after a week or so just shows how undeserving of the MP title and how ungentlemanly and MCP-ish you people can be. As I said, one must bear the consequences and I truly believe that in order to set things straight, an apology is definitely called for here

.
If these are the people supposedly running our country, I can see why Malaysia is always labeled as a country with First World infrastructures with a Third World mentality. No no. This doesn't end with only the MPs. Generally, everyone is the same, including me. Your overcharging taxi drivers, lacklusture public services, and many more all share this Third World mentality. Well who can we really blame when even our MPs are behaving like that? We do not have proper role models. I think Malaysians should choose its leaders not because of his/her popularity but of his/her intelligence and dedication to improving the country. MPs of today?? Bahhh..a childish lot and yet...more enjoyable then any sitcoms/dramas that I know of.

2007-04-12T05:23:00.000-07:00

Nowadays, it seems like children are being used as an excuse for people with too much free time to spread their false propaganda around the world. Oh look, don't mind the fact that it was us who polluted the earth in the first place, let's now protect the environment for the sake of our children. Oh no, kids getting obese? Throw away the fact that it was the government that allowed the sprouting up of fast food restaurants in the first place. Now, let's ban the bloody advertisements.

Look people. Will you please stop trying to protect the children now? First off, they don't care about the bloody environment and I bet they'd rather be obese then say, forced to dine on organic biscuits made and recycled from human faeces, for the rest of their lives. Nobody did the same during my generation. The generation before me didn't bother about the environment and hence, the extinction of several species of plants and animals and dinosaurs which are wickedly cool. So, if the generation before me didn't bother about us (my generation), why the fuck should I bother about the future generation?

I do not know why people are so protective about their children nowadays. Truthfully, I'd rather get shot in the head then to have children...perhaps something I might regret saying when the time comes but who cares. Yes, children are cute, children are lovely. But if I had children, I would gladly sell them off to researchers for them to conduct medical experiments, and put that money into my "Ferrari F430 Fund", which currently stands at 6 cents.

Now a Ferrari...it doesn't cry in the middle of the night just because it pooped its pants. It doesn't go rebellious and demand for freedom. What it does is it takes you from 0-96kph in 3.9 seconds and all the way to a heart thumping top speed of 318kph. What it does is it turns your life from stressful and depressed to exciting and bewildering with just a turn of a key. Having kids however is just the exact opposite of owning a Ferrari. So you do the math and you tell me what you think.

The car I would gladly sell my children off for...behold the magnificent!!

You know what irks me even more. People trying to get smoking banned......because it is hazardous ONLY to the children it seems. Somehow the notion that second hand smoke is unhealthy for regular adults did not quite get the attention it warranted but, with the addition of children being harmed by second hand smoke, people actually took notice. These are the same high class people who drive around in SUVs which incidentally pollutes more than a stick of cigarette, and can also tell you to save the environment in a straight face, all while sipping a bowl of shark's fin soup.

Do you really want to know why all these "save the environment campaigns" and "ban smoking campaigns" failed? Because ordinary people like you and me, don't really give a fuck. We as humans, or more particularly Malaysians, are calculative to the last ringgit. If the above campaigns do not benefit us financial wise, why should we even bother...right? So this I can tell, that the government's plan of banning junk food advertisements will not reduce the rate of obesity. The govenment is only contradicting themselves. Yes, they will ban advertisements but at the same time they will allow even more fast food restaurants to open up. So what fucking difference does it make?

2007-04-08T07:44:00.000-07:00

There has been a lot of talk lately about Jeremy Clarkson labelling the Perodua Kelisa as the worst car in the world. I've been a big Clarkson fan for some years now and to tell you honestly, that video of him bashing the Kelisa was already out and about in 2005. And for Malaysia to only start defending it's second national car-maker now just goes to show how slow we are in receiving news, be it good or bad, or in a more local slang, how offbeat we are.

An article from the BBC:-

Top Gear host Jeremy Clarkson has come under attack in the Malaysian parliament for labelling one of the country’s cars the worst in the world.

The BBC presenter has been filmed attacking the Perodua Kelisa with a sledgehammer before blowing it up.

But minister Abdul Raman Suliman defended the nation’s car industry, saying Mr Clarkson was like a football commentator who cannot play football.
He told MPs, Perodua had not received a single complaint from British owners.
He added that the comments were made merely to boost sales of the Top Gear magazine.

Mr Clarkson has voiced his frustrations with the small three-cylinder model in both magazine articles and on the Top Gear motoring show.

In one article, he said its name was like a disease and suggested it was built in jungles by people who wear leaves for shoes.

And on the show, he described it as “unimaginative junk, with no soul, no flair and no passion”.
He then smashed it, hung it from a crane with a one-tonne weight attached, before blowing it up.

Perodua is Malaysia’s second national carmaker and began producing small compact models in 1995.

The video can be seen here:-
http://paultan.org/archives/2005/12/19/jeremy-clarkson-annihilates-the-perodua-kelisa/

Judging from the comments made my minister Abdul Rahman Saliman and the comments made by the visitors to the website above, you could tell that they all share one thing in common :-

The typical Malaysian mentality of kiasu-ness.

Some people judge the credibility of Clarkson. They want to know who is this Englishman who suddenly decided to take a swipe at Perodua. Mr. Clarkson, ladies and gentleman, is one of the few men in this world who has been given the priviledge to test out different cars and to give an impartial and unbiased view about the cars he tested. He is not paid by any high flying corporations to promote their brand. He has tested various types of cars, from million dollar sports cars, to family vans and 4x4s, to budget,low-cost cars and even second hand cars.

Yes, he said the Kelisa is the worst car in the world and yes, most Malaysians are unhappy and wants Clarkson dead. But that's so typical of Malaysians. They get so overprotective about themselves. These are the same people who would gladly tell you to fuck off when you tell them that the food served in their favourite restaurant tastes as good as a bucket of horse manure.

Why can't Malaysians accept the fact that the Kelisa is indeed rubbish? I've been driven in a Kelisa before and to tell you the truth, sitting in the passenger side of a car the size of a shoe and going through our famous pot-hole filled Malaysian roads is as comfortable as falling down a flight of stairs. Sure it is a low cost car and we shouldn't complain about the quality we get for RM30-40k but why isn't Perodua trying to improve their products? Clarkson once criticized Vauxhall (a British car brand) and sales dropped immediately. That was years ago and now, the new Vauxhall cars are getting better better.

Malaysians should stop being overprotective with themselves and should receive criticisms with an open mind and strive to improve themselves. I receive criticisms almost daily for being fat, lazy and also being a smoker. But I do not go ape shit and start hitting everyone in the face with a shovel. I accept their criticisms with an open mind. Do I improve myself? Yes I do. I'm walking more, studying more and smoking more. There you go....improvements.

2007-04-07T11:56:00.000-07:00

Once again, another sem is coming to a close. Now from that previous sentence alone, you would have expected me to start pissing all over the place about how much I hate KL and the people here but I'm not going to do that this time. It is not that I have changed my opinion...yes, I still hate being here...but it is more to the fact that I have gone through so much crap here that I am actually immune to it.

Classes were boring as usual. In fact, I find more joy in watching a bunch of old folks practising tai-chi in the playground below from where I am sitting now. I am not going to do a review of the lecturers like what I did after the last sem. However, I can tell you this much, that their lectures were as knowledgable and intellectual as watching a rerun of Barney the Purple Dinosaur.

However, I cannot blame the lecturers because I chose not to pay attention during class. To tell me to pay attention in class would be like telling Ray Charles to tell the difference between the styling cues of a Ferrari and a Proton. A futile attempt, because I only have the attention span of 5 seconds. Oh and he's blind...in case you don't know who Mr. Charles is.

I could say a small part of the reason of me not fucking UTAR this time around is because I have finally got my hands on a car park sticker. Which means I can leave home 20 minutes before classes start, have breakfast, smoke a cigarette or two, kap some luis and still make it on time. As we have 3 hour breaks for 3 out of the 5 studying days, being able to drive home and take a nap before driving back to uni again without breaking any sweat would be like how, a friend of mine would put it, "better than sitting around, doing nothing and shaking your balls."

Of course life in UTAR this sem was made more bearable with the presence of this extremely hot woman managing the photostat counter. She is so hot that I am almost certain that she is a scaled down version of God. Or more precisely, she is the needle that you would find in a haystack, which pretty much sums up what the other girls in UTAR actually are. Well that's only my opinion.

Last but not least, my favourite food for this semester has to be the stall directly opposite my place selling...well, stuff. All I know is I would refer to it as "choo char". Now this place sells the best Kung Pao/Kong Pow/KP pork rice in the whole universe. Heck their Ko Lo Yok, Pai Kut Ong, no...I mean...everything they sell is so fucking good that I would gladly kill just to get to eat their stuff. I believe that if the stupidly-rich folks would take a second from their busy lives stuffing themselves with high class abalones or es-cargo/snails or whatever and sampled some of this stuff, they would realise they're just a bunch of Grade-A idiots.

Well that pretty much sums up this sem. End.

report

2007-02-18T02:32:00.000-08:00

So I'm finally back in Penang, and the first thing that I saw when I stepped off the bus, was an accident involving 3 cars. It happened right in front of where I was standing. Of course, nobody died, which is a pity, because they should have been sent straight to the Pearly Gates(or the gates of hell) for the way they were driving. Below is a simple lab(whatever) report of the incident.

Experiment XX :- An analysis of the small accident that happened in front of the Sungai Nibong bus terminal.

OBJECTIVE :- To study the accident in a detailed way

INTRODUCTION :- Accidents occur everyday........zzzzzzzz

APPARATUS :-
Car A = Ssangyong Rexton
Car B = Proton Waja
Car C = Proton Iswara
Car D = Perodua Myvi

PROCEDURE :-
1) Car A is moving on the right lane. Car A nearly misses the entrance to the bus terminal on the left. As a result, Car A brakes. The speed in kp/h of Car A is recorded.

2) Car B is moving along the same right lane. Car A makes the turn into the terminal just as Car B brakes. The speed in kp/h of Car B is recorded.

3) Car C is moving along the same right lane. Car C brakes. The speed in kp/h of Car C is recorded.

4) Car D is moving along the same right lane. Car D brakes. The speed in kp/h of Car D as it hits Car C is recorded.

RESULTS

Speed of Car A before it turns into terminal = 0 kp/h
Speed of Car B as it brakes behind Car A = 0 kp/h
Speed of Car C as it brakes behind Car B = 0 kp/h
Speed of Car D as it brakes, skids and hit Car C = approx. 10kp/h

DISCUSSION

Because Car D is not equipped with anti-lock brakes and the driver was found out to be on the phone, the late hard braking resulted in the brakes being locked up and the car skidded forward to hit Car C which was stationary.

As Car C did not fully apply the brakes while stationary, the impact of Car D on Car C sent Car C moving forward into Car B. While this was happening, Car A finally made the turn into the bus terminal.

It was observed that the driver of Car A was an old man who shouldn't have stopped on the right lane before turning left for he was lucky he was not hit by any of the cars or even worse, a bus which could easily grant him a passport straight to motoring hell for breaking one of the most important yet overlooked motoring law in the universe which is stated that the right lane is for fast and overtaking vehicles........and not for braking in the middle of it.

It was also observed that 3 very confused drivers started blaming each other while their cars were still on the right lane of the road, resulting in a slight congestion. The time was also recorded as this was happening and it was observed that the 3 drives were still discussing something inaudible after 15 minutes.

It was also observed that a group of taxi drivers were happily laughing and discussing about the accident.

CONCLUSION
An accident CAN still occur at 0 kp/h. Amazing isn't it?
(MOST) Malaysian drivers are still just as good in driving as a penguin is trying to fly.
Malaysian drivers tend to hold themselves in high esteem when they see an accident. Case in point, the taxi drivers. These are the same people that can be seen slowing down on accident sites to analyze the damage, only to have a smirk on his face as he realises that none of his 10 accidents before this involved damage as bad as the one he's just seen. Asshole.

PRECAUTION
- Stand as far as possible from the road as who knows, the accident might have happened at the exact spot that I was standing.

- Follow the 5 meter rule when following another car to avoid brake lock ups.

- Never tail any SUVs, MPVs, 4-wheel drives, or whatever. It was discovered that a huge percentage of these vehicles are driven by aging, old, blind men who have the reactions of a stone, who are also being nagged at by their mahjong-loving wives while at the same time being distracted by his infant children who are screaming and watching Barney on the in-car VCD player, all this while regretting that he didn't tie them up and send them on a one way trip to the orphans' home.

REFERENCE
-myself

Note:- short post this time. I have plenty of ideas to put up here so...stay tuned.

2006?

2006-12-25T10:46:00.000-08:00

2006 is coming to a close and perhaps now, it is a good time to look back at all the stuff that had happened this year. This year was in particularly peculiar because it was the first time in my life that I have ever felt so old. Throughout the most part of the year all I felt was boredom. No, I didn't lock myself inside my room and it is definitely not because I am anti-social. I did a lot of things this year and it would have been the most exciting and best year ever...that is if I were still 15.

You see, nobody can stop time. When I was a small boy I used to feel that a day was like a week. I couldn't wait until the weekends where I'll be following mom and dad to shopping or whatever. I hated school like fuck and each time I would celebrate big time when there were holidays. But now at 21, a day feels like, well, a day. Study days fly by too fast. There is always insufficient time for reports, assignments and studying for exams. And as much as I still look forward to the holidays, sometimes I do feel that a 3 week holiday is like a 2 month one.

For 2006, I begged and begged before my parents finally allowed me to drive down to KL and together with a couple of friends, we explored KL and visited lots and lots of places. I mean, we were doing crazy stuff like driving for an hour plus to Kepong on a 5am morning for bak kut teh, driving up to Genting at 4am to take a piss at the First World hotel, visiting every shopping mall, pasar malams, PC fairs, motor shows, hanging out at clubbing street and even looking and making fun of "ah kuas" at Chow Kit. As interesting as all those activities were, it soon became old and repeated. There was nothing else to do. Nothing which could give me a kick in the balls. Nothing unforgettable.

Recently went to celebrate Christmas at Gurney. I felt totally out of place. Because no matter how many people there were, how loud the scene was and how annoying those fake snow sprayers can be, I still couldn't get into the Christmasy mood. While everyone was standing and counting down from 10 seconds to Christmas, I was sitting in my chair, smoking. While everyone was jumping about, hugging each other, screaming and everything at the stroke of midnight, I was still in my chair, smoking. I couldn't feel the excitement. Guess I'm too old for countdowns and parties.

Yes...2006 was also the year where I made the transition from smoking Mild Seven Lights to Mild Seven and finally to Dunhill. This was also the year where I found that I am, as predicted and proved by many, addicted to tobacco. I did quit for a short while, but it wasn't long before I was back on cigarettes again. Everyone says I'm doing it for the cool factor but what part of cool am I trying to project when I'm smoking on my balcony all alone on a 3am morning?? You see, it takes me roughly 5 minutes to finish a stick and since there are usually 20 in a pack, it would take me 100 minutes or 1 hour and 40 minutes to finish. Here comes the interesting part!! I would rather sit and spend 1 hour and 40 minutes of my life smoking and killing myself than sitting around thinking about what to do to keep me excited.

The World Cup came and went. The build up to the event was superb. I had literally forgotten and flung aside my studies just for the World Cup. Watched nearly all of the first week matches. And then...it happened. I lost the thrill. I was losing sleep because of the noise from the mamak downstairs. Reports and assignments were due soon. Even the final match of the event didn't bring any thrill to me...partly because I don't fancy the teams that were in the final. Am I too old for the World Cup? Couldn't be. Even when the 3 clubs that I have supported since childhood from the English, Spanish and Italian Leagues won their titles, I wasn't excited.

Yum cha sessions have changed dramatically. Where before, yum cha sessions were mostly on weekends, as there was school on the weekdays, now, yum cha sessions are on just about any other day. When I was 15-17, coming out to yum cha and returning back home at 12am plus was already quite an achievement on its own, considering how strict my parents were and also the fact that I didn't have any transport. But now, every other 16 year old comes out for yum cha. Every other young fuck has a motorcycle as transport. And every other young fuck stays on till 2-3am before returning. And as for me, coming out to yum cha after 12am has become such a normality that I don't even feel excited like I was when I was 15-17. More signs of old age?

Even the novelty of driving fast is wearing thin. Where before, I would get all excited, with heart beating fast and sweaty palms after going at 160kph(the fastest my car can do..sien), now, I do not have that thrill anymore. Heck I could even drive at 160kph with my left hand alternating between the steering wheel and gear stick with my right hand on my handphone taking down a video of how fast I was going which I am going to upload somewhere soon. Nope, no fast beating heart, no sweaty palms, no excitement. It's either I'm getting bored of speed or I need a faster car!!

Even cuci mata sessions at the malls are not as interesting as it used to be. No, it's not because I've turned gay. It's because every other girl I see in the shopping mall these days is a small kid. Probably 14-18? Even my 14 year old sis is hanging out in malls. As pretty as these girls dress up, I just couldn't get all excited like I would when I was 14-18 myself. As much as I cuci mata together with friends, deep inside, I wasn't really entertained.

There were of course exceptionally fantastic moments in 2006. Like the recent trip to Ipoh. What excited me more than anything else was that we were exploring the whole of Ipoh, trying out different and nice food and also visiting famous old buildings and landmarks. I felt happy looking at the old buildings, the 100 year old train station for example. Whereas most people of my age would have immediately headed to a disco or something, I found myself crazily happy riding the antique elevator at the train station again and again.

Damn ancient looking buttons...

Birthdays were probably among the more unforgettable stuff that happened in 2006. From getting whacked with a dustbin lid by a few frens of mine on my birthday, to celebrating friends' birthdays in Cheras, and occasionally Redbox, to having fantastic RM18 lamb chops at PJ while celebrating the birthday of a good friend , to spending RM25 on a cup of tea at TGI Fridays while also celebrating the birthday of another good friend. All these were unforgettable to me. It was not that we did many funny and interesting stuff. It was the company. The company of friends and brothers and sisters which are all still etched in the back of my mind.

I wasn't in Penang for much in 2006. I only went back during the festive seasons and holidays. Which in total was less than 3 months. Days in Penang are busy as usual. Catching up with frens from all over, spending time with my family, going for seafood(which is a must everytime we meet up for the holidays), yum cha, PC games at the cyber cafes, hanging out at malls, and more recently, hunting for car accesories in Bukit Mertajam. For the whole month of December that I have been in Penang, I have been so busy that I hardly had time for myself. Of course I appreciate the time spent with my friends. I love you guys...god bless. And that is why I've decided to come out with this post early. BecauseI doubt there will be anything else interesting enough to include in this post from today till the 31st as I've decided to spend the rest of 2006 alone. And that is just roughly 6 days.

What will I be doing? Well recently I've found solace in fixing things up. Starting with my scale model cars which were unfortunately thrashed a few years ago. It was heartbreaking to see something which I have spent so much time, energy and money on, just break into a million gazillion pieces. I had 2 models. A Toyota Supra and a Peugeot 206. I started work on them about a week ago, fixing up parts which I am capable of and touching up here and there. So from this:-

We have this :-

My pride and joy. The first scale model car which I seriously put in effort on. I had a few models before this one but I would just simply fix them up and let them rot. For this one, I actually spent a lot in getting the paint and brushes to paint it up and make it look as realistic as I could.

And that's when I realised, I was actually having fun. Some may see this as unhappening and unhip or uncool, but fuck what the others think. I want to feel that same sense of achievement that I felt when I finished my first model. And since nearly nothing now can thrill me as much as completing a scale model, I've decided to start working on another one. A birthday present from my family 2 years ago, which I didn't get to start because I misplaced the instruction manual and I was too busy with uni. Have found the manual through the internet, have enough funds for the paint and now hopefully, I will have enough time off from study stuff to do it.

So there you have it. A very normal 2006 with a couple of fantastic moments which I will never forget. So what's up for 2007? Would hope to travel around more to see new places. Would love to meet more people and would love to get the next 2 sems over with quick so that I can sit here again at this same time next year, writing about the events of 2007. And also, no, I will not quit smoking in 2007.

Lastly, I hope some things would remain the same for 2007 and the many years ahead. That we would still go for our seafood every holidays. That we would still go for bak kut teh at ungodly hours. That we would still go all out to search for new and tasty food. That we would still go yum cha no matter how old or bored we are. That we would still go to malls and ogle at chicks no matter how young...or old they can be.

That's all for 2006. Cheerio. Would add more if I can remember more interesting stuff that happened in 2006 or if there is anything exciting that might happen in the next 6 days.

2006-12-19T02:46:00.000-08:00

Interesting story in the papers the other day. There were 2 articles about Vietnamese women being sold as brides to local men and this somewhat seems to be a big issue among Malaysians, ESPECIALLY women. Do have a read, the news are also in the website.

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2006/12/19/nation/16359959&sec=nation&focus=1

and

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2006/12/19/nation/16361638&sec=nation

Anyways, for those slacks who couldn't be bothered with picking up a newspaper or visiting the news website, here's a short synopsis. Vietnamese women are being sold as brides to local men and that group of motherfuckers(women's rights groups or whatever) are as usual running their mouth off again.

You know something? I don't see what the big deal is. So a couple of men wanna find brides without going through the hassle of courtship and all that stuff. Is that so wrong? Is that, as according to Datuk Michael Chong, our overpublicised MCA good guy, so sickening and immoral? I'll tell you what's sickening and immoral. The fact that local women are demanding so much from us men.

For those who cannot accept the fact that men are buying foreign brides, shut up and listen to what I have to say. You see, men have needs, and sometimes, women need to understand their roles as females in the society. Let me give you an example. A guy takes a girl out for dinner. He drove and he paid for everything including the overpriced car-park tickets in KL. So the guy drives the girl back to her home. Does she...

A) Say thank-you and goodnight?
B) Mentions that lunch the next day is on her?
C) Offers to pay for the car park tickets and petrol for the next trip?
D) All of the above?

WRONG you fucks. None of the above actually matters for a guy because all a guy wants after spending so much money and time, and having to sit through dinner with a girl when he could be at home playing wrestling games on his PS2, is a good, long blowjob. Nothing fancy. Just a nice and proper blowjob.

So here's a question for local women. If a guy spends so much on you, yet you are not interested to give the guy a blowjob, where else must he look to get one? The answer is simple. Cash and carry Vietnamese wives. According to the papers, a one time payment of between RM20,000 to RM30,000 would instantly get a man a wife, or a life-time supply of blowjobs, whichever way you want to look at it. Plus, the men actually get to choose how their wives would look like. Super awesome!

Plus you cannot go wrong with a Vietnamese wife because maintaining one would be cheap. I mean, these women were probably picked from the farms or some secluded villages, which makes the word Starbucks as confusing to them as the words "You-wanna fuck?", which also means you can save all that money that you would otherwise spend for a fuckacinno(or frappucinno..whatever) on a local girl and instead fork out RM1.20 for a kopi-peng for your Viet wife. Gucci would probably mean "dog shit" in the Vietnamese language so you can be sure she won't be around demanding high-end, expensive clothings.

Of course there will be some politically-correct fucks(women's groups again) who would say that men are denying these Viet women their lives and rights by taking them as wives. Wrong again fuckers. You see, our local men are probably doing these women a favour by taking them as wives. As I said in my previous paragraph, these women might actually come from poverty-stricken places and our local men are actually providing them a better life right here in Malaysia. There might be also men who would shower these women with their attention (and money) and please do tell me...which woman wouldn't want that? Of course, the lives of some of these women could take a turn for a worse but that is not of our concern is it?

But of course we have to ask ourselves, are men only after foreign brides just to satisfy their sexual needs. The answer is of course an affirmed NO. Every man has a compasionate and loving side. Sometimes these men need someone for companionship. But sometimes, local women tend to depend so much on the outlook of men that the ugly ones are always neglected. Or there might still be some single men who are already in their 50's or 60's and tell me honestly, would any woman out there still marry men that old? Shunned by the female half of society, they have no choice but to look for foreign brides. Local women, see what you've done?

So there you have it. Four reasons why local women should stop complaining about local men getting foreign brides.

1) Cheap price for a life-time supply of blowjobs...plus we get to choose!
2) Cheap maintainence of a Viet wife.
3) Able to easily satisfy men's needs.
4) Companionship for men who has been shunned by local women.

Of course I still love women and this post is in no way to degrade women.

Couple of other news in the papers this past few weeks. Civil servants are asking for a 40% pay rise, or something like that. All I know is these people are asking for a pay rise when they are the ones slacking off. Malaysians are probably the laziest people in the whole wide universe. Everybody complains about the fuel hike, hike in water rates, hike in electricity rates, whatever. The government cannot support and subsidise for you forever you bums. What's that you say? If the price of everything is rising, why is your pay not rising? Look at yourselves. Malaysians probably have the most holidays among all countries on Earth. Every other celebration, Malaysians would take the day off. Christmas, Raya, New Year, Chinese New Year and whatever. If you people are always taking holidays, so who is working and increasing the productivity of the country? That is why Malaysia will never progress because people are lazy, refuse to work harder and hopes the government would subsidise for everything. Well tough luck assholes.

More interesting news. one of Kelantan's ruling party's(PAS) leaders has decided to loosen up on the Islamic rules of the state and allow discos to be built to boost tourism. Only problem is these discos would be same-sex discos which means no inter-mingling between the sexes. Anyone interested in going to an all-male disco?

Last one. Somebody wrote to the Star the other day. In the section for letters and opinions, there was this guy who expressed his disappointment over Malaysia's showing in the Asian games and commented that with the amount of money the government spends on developing sports in our country, we should be on par with the giants of the sporting world, China and Japan. True except for one thing. Malaysia has a population of roughly 27 million while China has 1.3 billion. Obviously the odds of finding talented people in China is higher, right dumbass?

2006-10-12T23:06:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had dinner with a friend where he/she(in my case, a she) would ask you some stupid irrelevant question instead of doing what most people would do when there's food on the table(eat) and you had to endure his/her cold gaze because what you answered did not coincide with what he/she had in mind?

There is one thing that pisses me off more than a woman bitching and that is a woman bitching while I'm eating. So I was out with a friend the other day at pizza hut. Halfway through eating, she decided to ask me...

WHAT DO YOU THINK IS THE PURPOSE YOU WERE PUT ON EARTH FOR?

Many answers ran in my head. From the fact that I was a product of my parents' enjoyment to the one about my responsibility to continue the family line by spawning more children. Then also came the thought of why am I subjecting myself to this shit? So I told her that the reason I was put on Earth is the exact same reason why every other person is put on Earth. I told her...

"I was put on Earth so that I could be fed and educated during my childhood instead of running around giving out atomic wedgies to assholes that I don't like so that when I am of the correct age, I can contribute to the governments' workforce by working 10 hours a day in a stupid office cubicle for a sum of dog shit money in order to help the nation achieve Vision 2020, all the while creating more children for the future of the country and eventually dying at the age of 60 as a result of lung cancer because I couldn't stop smoking."

As expected, she had that stupid cold glare( something like -____-) because my matter of fact answer did not coincide with her over-the-top answer. When asked the same question, she told me...

"I guess I was put on Earth to make Earth a better place by bringing happiness to people all around me"

I nearly choked when I heard that answer. Here's an idea how to make Earth a better place:SHUT UP! You are not a Miss Universe contestant...why must your answer be so damn fucking fake? Have anyone noticed how fake those beauty pageant contestants' answers can be? What's that? You want to help get rid of poverty? I'm SURE you can help get rid of poverty with the RM5000 prize money and that new Toyota Vios you received for winning the contest. No one speaks the damn truth anymore nowadays do they?

Another question that always sort of pisses me off is...
WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU HAVE A MILLION GAZILLION THRILLION DOLLARS?

I'd spend it, asshole. As simple as that. Or in a more extreme case, I'd wipe my ass with the money. The word "donation" does not exist in my vocabulary.

Here's another famous question...
IF YOUR MOM AND GIRLFRIEND ARE ABOUT TO DROWN IN THE SEA, WHO WOULD YOU SAVE FIRST?

This is a favourite question from the girls to the guys. It is just as annoying as the girls' bitch laughter when you actually choose one of the available answers. "Ha? You want save your mother? Means you don't like your gf lor? Wahahahaha". I say shut it bitch. Being a real man means I can save as many people as I want AT THE SAME TIME. Plus, taking swimming lessons in my youth is an added bonus.

Here's another 1...
IF YOU HAD ONE WISH, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

Money.

IF YOU WERE STUCK IN AN ISLAND AND HAD TO CHOOSE ONE ITEM FOR YOUR SURVIVAL, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

A cellphone.

There are too many stupid questions around and I think it is my moral duty to spare all you readers the agony of going through all of them. You see, there's always a catch when girls ask guys these questions. If your answers are exactly the same as the ones they have in their minds, i.e. sensitive/caring answers a.k.a pussy, they'll look at you with a different perspective and if you're lucky enough, you'll get laid. They will deem you as...well...sensitive and caring and we all know women just can't stop bitching about sensitivity long enough to notice that there's no such thing as a sensitive guy out there. If you know of a sensitive guy, chances are (A) He's gay or (B) All of the above.**

**Just had to borrow this quote from Maddox. That fucker rules.

As a conclusion, the less questions you people ask me the happier I will be. It's not like you really care when you ask me how my day is, is it asshole?

P.S.
the only reason I am daring enough to quote my fren's question is because she doesn't read my blog. Either that or my balls are too hairy.

nation of pussies = bleak future???

2006-09-26T02:40:00.000-07:00

You know your day's pretty fucked up when you wake up and switch on the laptop, only to know that your sister had forgotten to close her internet explorer window and you come face to face or rather, face to screen with this :-

What the fuck's a cluby? The poster gives you the statement that if one is sweet, cool, cute and handsome, one is welcomed to join the club. Before you can even go "I wanna join!!" they come at you with a NO FAKER!!
-______-

This is so unfortunate. Back in the 90s there were worries that the "yellow" or Western culture was promoting aggressive and violent behaviour among our teens. TV programmes with swear words and murderings were taken off the air. The Black Metal/Satanic Morons/I-rather-drink-goat's-blood-than-water movement was in the news every other day back then.

But now, there is a different culture in town. One that turns guys who wanna murder into crying pussies. One that turns guys who listen to Satanic Rock to gays who listen to sappy love songs. This is of course, the new generation of teens who tune in to MTV every other day to worship Jay Wanker Chou, the teens who rather spend money on beauty products and clothes instead of saving up, the very teens who cry when they watch Korean, Taiwan and Japanese dramas. In other words, the post-modern gay Asian culture has invaded our country.

So I continued exploring the page. Unfortunately, I had to printscreen the pictures because I wasn't allowed to right click and copy, or I will be labelled as a faker.

The window at the center says "No right click! Are u trying to fake ppl?"
No, I'm not trying to fucking fake PEOPLE asshole. I'm just trying to put all this bullshit in my blog so more PEOPLE would realise what stupid dicks our teens have become because of their exposure to homo Asian culture which almost every other time depicts guys as pussies with hair flying all over the place and girls with extra large eye balls. So below are some printscreened pics of guys with pussies and girls with extra large eye balls :-

Do click on the pics for an enlarged version. See, at that time, they were having some competition to select the guy-whom-real-men-would-wanna-choke and the girl-whom-real-men-would-wanna-feed-to-the-crocs. The further I scrolled down the more depressed I felt. Are these the same people who will be running and leading our country in the future? This cannot be. It was just a few years ago that teens were termed as too violent and now...?

Oh...in case you don't know. To be accepted as a part of the gay Asian culture, you have to be pretty much pretty, handsome, cool,cute and sweet, which when translated to normal people speak, means :-

pretty :- as long as you look like a prostitute
handsome :- as long as you look like a girl
cool :- as long as you have big eyes
cute :- as long as you don't have any trace of facial hair
sweet :- as long as you suck dicks

You see, anytime you open an Asian celebrity gossip magazine, you will be surrounded by pictures of clean-shaven, big eyed, homosexual guys and also big eyed girls who dress up like prostitutes, who collectively, probably have sucked more dicks than the whole female population of the world. I think the term "lala mui and chai" is used here but who gives a shit? Then teenagers, being superbly dumb, will follow exactly what their favourite celebrities eat,dress and do, because they have no life of their own and would mimic the same gay-ness and hence, a nation of pussies is born.

If this trend continues, I am afraid that Darwin's theory of natural selection might come true. I can not remember the exact definition of Darwin's theory but it is more along the lines of the ever famous phrase, "Survival of the fittest". It is not that I am saying that these homos would survive longer than the average men, it is just that, since every other guy is either converting or is already a homo, the race of the real men are dying out. And as we know, pussies breed more pussies and soon, we will be, as I have mentioned earlier, a nation of pussies.

Look at the girl above? Is it even possible that one have eyes as big as that? It is out of proportion with the face. But ahhh...there's a secret to that. Last night while I was watching the Discovery channel, learning new things instead of crying over some gay Asian drama, I caught this programme called Poison. One segment explained that women have used chemicals since the Renaissance period which when applied to the eyes, would make it look bigger and hence, improving the beauty of the certain woman.

I couldn't remember the name of the chemical, so I googled it and found this site
http://www.mathdaily.com/lessons/Pupil

An excerpt goes :-

Studies have shown that humans (especially females) are judged as more attractive if their pupils are wide open and more dilated than normal. The name Belladonna (beautiful lady) comes from the fabled use of the juices of the Nightshade plant by Italian women who would use eyedrops made from an extract of the plant in their eyes in order to enlarge their pupils and make their eyes appear more beautiful. In some cases gradual blindness has occurred through the overuse and abuse of belladonna to enhance the beauty of the eyes.

Argghh...I can't take anymore of this bullshit. There're plenty more pics of these motherfuckers a.k.a. the downfall of society. Go check it out if you're interested.
http://www.friendster.com/user.php?uid=32409011

As for me, I will continue to be the fat, unshaven, dirty ass that I have been since ever. Nobody will change me and I will not change for anybody and I do not wish to change anybody. Let us hope that this gay Asian trend would move over as fast as the yellow culture. Who knows what culture would come up next? Perhaps something better? Perhaps something worse? All I know is I can't wait to be a dad. So that if ever my son/daughter decide to adopt the gay Asian culture or as a matter of fact, any culture which would make me look like I did a bad job as a father, I would slap him/her across the face. No...seriously. I can't wait to slap a teenager. It'd be tonnes and tonnes of fun!!! Because most teens can't shut the hell up, slapping a teen would rule!!

Teen :- Ewww...you have a beard.
Me :- *slaps the teen across the face*
Teen :- Why did you do that?
Me :- *slaps the teen across the face*
Teen :- Are you looking for a fight?
Me :- *slaps the teen across the face*
Teen :- *starts crying* I hate you
Me :- *slaps the teen across the face*
Teen :- I hope you die
Me :- SHUT THE HELL UP BITCH *slaps the teen across the face*

Racing stories?

2006-09-24T01:57:00.000-07:00

"There are some things that money can't buy, for everything else, there's Mastercard"

Now this slogan/phrase/advertorial bullshit annoys me to the core whenever I hear it but I have to admit, I've been thinking a lot about the "There are some things that money can't buy" part ever since last night. You see...there are many things that money can't buy. One of them? Experience.

I was driving along Farquhar Road last night. It was my first time driving there in 18 weeks. I am so damn kao familiar with this road because I used to drive along this very road every day for 3 years when I was going to high school and a further 4 years plus being ferried by my parents when I didn't have my license. It was also the road I had to drive pass to get to the jetty, so that I could take a ferry to the mainland to find my dear.

So there I was, just minding my own business when I saw in my rearview mirror, this crazy nut weaving in and out of traffic at high speeds. He came to a stop right next to me at a traffic light(the one outside GLO). I was bored, so I wanted to have fun. The car I was drivng was a 1.5 Wira automatic which belonged to my father. His car was a new 1.6 Satria Neo manual. He had a more powerful and better handling car then I have. So on paper, it looked like I would have my ass kicked all over the place, but :-

weeeee...

When the traffic lights turned green, he was off. I was just a speck on his rearview mirror. The Wira was so bloody slow off the line. Also, the Wira was claimed to have a top speed of 190kph but with the kind of acceleration that it has and the time it took to reach that speed, I doubt that anyone would live long enough to drive and verify that claim.

At point 1:-just before the bend, the Satria had slowed down significantly. However I didn't bother slowing down.Entering the bend, I was just about a car's length away from him.

At point 2:-halfway through the bend, I was just exactly next to him as I didn't slow down that much. I already have the inside line for the following bend.

At point 3:-it was all full acceleration from point 2 to 3. I had overtaken him. And as I was already on full acceleration, I just sped on until I saw him turning off into a corner.

Final analysis:- I have just shoved his Satria Neo up a certain place of his that the sun don't shine on.

Yes, I know I was being an irresponsible and dangerous driver. Some would even call me a public nuisance but who cares? Have you ever had that feeling when you did something better than someone else? Especially when that someone else has better resources, knowledge and bla bla. For example, maybe you corrected a mistake made by a teacher? How did that feel?

Oh...and for the "there are some things money can't buy" thing...that's still bullshit. Money buys every thing...and I mean

EVERY

FUCKING

THING!!!

And whoever said that money can't buy happiness is probably the biggest asshole in the universe. Either that or he's never been poor before. Look asshole, if you have like a gazillion million dollars and you're still not happy maybe you should do us all a favour by kindly shutting the hell up. Telling us that your money can't buy happiness is just another way of asking for a ball-slashing.

2006-08-23T10:55:00.000-07:00

Finally, the sem has come to an end. There is still the final exams but seriously...who gives a shit? So it's that time of the sem again where we are required to do a survey conducted by our university to evaluate the performance of the lecturers and whether the subjects we studied this sem were useful or just plain-jane rubbish. Well actually, I couldn't be bothered but there's this lecturer literally begging us to complete the survey. So I kept my survery short and sweet, well, sort of.

Evaluation of Subjects

1)Kinetics, Mechanisms and Stereochemistry
Comment :- Utter rubbish

2)Thermodynamics and Electrochemistry
Comment :- Desperately boring

3)Spectroscopy and Chromatography
Comment :- Sleep inducing

4)Environmental Science and Technology
Comment :- Cow dung

5)Chemistry Laboratory 3
Comment :- Dreadfully useless

6)Management Principles
Comment :- Like I could be bothered

Evaluation of Lecturers

1) Dr. A -> Kinetics
Comment :- If I had a time machine, I would gladly go back in time to remind myself not to take up the chemistry course because I have never felt as bored as I was in Dr. A's class ever in my life.

2)Dr.B -> Mechanisms and Stereochemistry
Comment :- If you noticed properly, you could actually see a couple of guys, well, one actually, sleeping in class at the back of the lecture hall. That would be me.

3)Dr.C -> Thermodynamics and Electrochemistry
Comment :- I can hardly remember the last time I stayed awake long enough to actually understand what was going on in class.

4)Dr.D -> Spectroscopy and Chromatography
Comment :- Aside from being possibly the biggest ever whining cry-baby, I must say, I actually understood what was being taught.

5)Dr.E -> Environmental Science and Technology
Comment :- Every night for the past 13 weeks, I cried myself to sleep, knowing that I had to wake up early in the morning only to attend Dr. E's class.

6)Dr.F -> Chemistry Laboratory 3
Comment :- none actually.

So there you have it. I've blocked out the lecturers' names just in case one of them happens to be your family member or your distant cousin. However, if you really do have relatives like these, you should just shoot yourself in the head. And now on to my own personal survey about the university. I've done a couple of these in the past, but I just can't help but do it again. I love blasting my own university.

Universiti Tunku Abdul Rahman
Comments :- Well I've got lots actually.

First off, car parks. The university is actually well funded with it's exuberant RM5k per sem fees, and perhaps sponsorship from the MCA(Malaysian Chinese Association) and other Chinese companies. You'd think they would actually provide perhaps a wee little bit more parking lots than they already do. But noooooooo, they insist we park outside the university. Thanks to my university, I have on my otherwise clean record, these :-

three in 1 week...it's a new record

I even sent an email to the dean of the university telling him about my plight but the reply he gave me was, well, to put it more politely, the word starts with a S and ends with hit. And I quote from his email :-

"City Hall seems to encourage students to use motorcycles and public transport. To make sureto get a car park, some staff, including me, come as early as 6 something before7. This way you will be sure of getting a car park in Taman Bunga Raya. Also,many staff use public transport, campus bus, LRT and walking. These are someways to overcome the problem. From our experience students and staff faceparking problems everywhere including TAR College, Universiti Malaya, our PJcampus, Bandar Sg. Long campus, etc. and also overseas universities where I hadworked."

There you have it. A small part of his email, unedited and untouched. You would notice how some words like "before7", "someways", "faceparking","PJcampus" and "hadworked" are all joined together. There is a way to overcome this problem and it is called a spacebar. City Hall encourages student's to use motorcycles and transports? City Hall officers consists of fat Malay blokes who could not be bothered trying to earn their own money in a proper way(say, going to work?) to sustain their needs for nasi lemak and instead have to issue summons to unfortunate people(like me) who had to park outside of the university to get to class because the university is full of crap and couldn't arrange for more parking lots to be allocated.

And then pretty much everything from here consists of about how much I think the people here sucks ass and about how much this university blows. Somebody called me a racist because I once said I hated Chinese people. Now this matter can sort of be related to coffee. You have expressos, mochas, cappucinos, kopi-0 kaos and such. Sure the cappucino has a more pungent aroma and the kopi-o kao is well, thick but that's the thing you see. You know you can't live without coffee. You just have to show your preference of which one you like better. Same goes to the Chinese. I hate Chinese people who stare at you when they find out you can't speak in Chinese. It's like as if they've seen a ghost. I hate Chinese people who speaks Chinese among themselves, knowing full well I have no clue what they're saying. And I hate Chinese who laugh at you for being a so called "banana", whatever that means. But then I love Chinese who can cook good food. I love Chinese who can speak English and who are outgoing and love to hang out. I love Chinese who do not discriminate you for who you are. Heck, I love those Chinese in the porno videos. So there you go. You can't say I'm a racist because I hate SOME of them. It's like saying I hate coffee because I don't drink white coffee. Sure I hate the Chinese but probably only about a third of the population anyway. Is that so big a deal?

Words cannot describe how much I hate my university. To conclude this survey, I will say that for the one and a half years that I have been here, the only good thing I can think of is that I will be out of this place in, well, another one and a half years time.

So, anyway, this concludes tonight's post. And I apologise for the lack of updates. I'm still young, I'm still fresh and I've got plenty of things to do. Now where have I kept that Chinese porno video?

****UPDATE****
Someone pointed out that I forgot to evaluate on the performance for the lecturers for the Management Principle subject. Actually, I haven't forgotten really. The only reason I didn't include them in the survery above is because I couldn't be bothered to attend Management class and therefore have absolutely no idea about the performance of the lecturers.

2006-08-07T08:55:00.000-07:00

She's in Kedah...
I'm in KL...
It's been 12 weeks...
Damn I miss her so much...*sighhhhhhhh*

She turns 2...and other unrelated stuff...

2006-07-30T11:53:00.000-07:00

See I've been busy these past couple of a weeks, what with all the midterms and assignments and all that shit I have to do just so I can obain a 30-40 percentage from my overall final marks in order to increase my grade point average so as to obtain a useless degree which will most probably land me a low-paying job working 12 hours a day for an unknown company only to know that you won't go far in life as bosses nowadays refuse to see one's actual capability but instead rely too much on that white piece of trash paper they call a degree. Did I mention my degree was useless?? Did I mention I was going to wipe my ass with that degree??

Anyways, on the 14th of July, my baby turned two...

Yay...Happy Birthday!!

It is a good thing I got it pasted as soon as possible, as till today, I've already been through 2 JPJ/Police road blocks. And I was only travelling to and from uni. The second road block was even better. I was stopped at 3.30am. Just a hundred meters from my apartment. There'll be the usual skeptics going "Aiya...JPJ no money, want cari makan again...". But I say "Fuck you...if you abide by the law, they can't do anything to you no matter what. What cari makan? They're only upholding the bloody law. So renew your road tax already..."

Back to my baby...there'll always be several adventures which will be forever etched in my mind...

How can I forget revving my baby all the way to 6.5k rpm on the very first day that I got her?? Some say I'm harming her by not running in the engine properly but I say screw you.

How can I forget going 160kph on the Penang Bridge and more recently, along Jalan Tun Razak in KL?? I know it's not fast but it's the best she can do and I'm still happy...

How can I forget getting my first kiss from my dear, Cynthia, in my baby?? *winkz*

How can I forget cruising around nearly 3 quarters of KL?? It's a bloody waste of petrol but it's all for discovering new places...

How can I forget going around the mountains in Teluk Bahang?? I'm not fast but still...there's the thrill...

And more recently, how can I forget going all the way to Genting just to take a piss?? No hotel stay, no themepark rides, no Starbucks. Just a quick piss...

Most importantly, how can I forget going around Gurney Drive with my brothers Derek, Rene, Victor, Anthony and Alan, rolling down the windows and shouting and laughing at the people there. Eventually we got caught by a certain Inspector Chee. Being caught by the police and being labelled by them as monkeys from trees rule!!! I will never forget this for the rest of my life...

This is how she looks like from the inside now...

no those are not a digital and an analog clock...duhhh...turbo timer and vacumm meter

In an unrelated issue, there was this news in the newspaper today about a guy who died moments after being robbed by 2 men. He was slashed with parangs and guess what? This happened around the area I'm living in. And guess what again? I happened to pass by the scene yesterday. No, I didn't know it was a robbery case and yes the guy was still pretty much alive when I passed through. Not wanting to be a kaypo, I continued on and only knew about his death hours later. And guess what yet again?? It's the Hungry Ghost Month. What a time to leave the world. May God bless him wherever he is now and I hope the 2 men will get fucked by sex-hungry homosexual dogs while bending over to pick up a one cent coin(Derek...sorry bro...stole your line..haha..)

In another unrelated issue, I happend to chance upon these funny looking biscuits when I bought a whole tin of assorted biscuits recently.

smiley face biscuits!!

They look weird but they sure as hell taste damn good. Makes me feel guilty of eating something which looks so....ermm....happy....

Best Video Ever

2006-07-15T12:21:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zcd-UtMR7aE

No idea how to post videos here so just go to the link and see it.
Very cool.
Not offensive in any way though the title might suggest it.
Just trust me and watch it okay?

Genting trip

2006-07-15T00:44:00.000-07:00

3am on a saturday morning. What is there to do? I don't feel like sleeping nor do I feel like playing with my dragon. Hahahahahha. Not really interested in mamaks and the clubs are probably closed by this time. Want do what? My friend say go Genting lo. My first reaction was like "Shit...go Genting for fucks ar? There got what to do? Find prostitute?". But then I gave it a second thought and came back with this reponse "Good. Let's go Genting First World Hotel, use the toilet and come back down again."

Shit man. So we actually drove all the way there. If I'm not mistaken it's bout 30kms(give or take) from my place. Fuck man, Uncle Lim damn kao kao rich but he can't even install enough street lamps along the road to Genting. Genting road damn blardy excitement. Reminds me of Teluk Bahang. Fucking dark with fucking sharp corners. But dangerous also la. More dangerous than the Genting China Mei Mei. There the most, you get AIDS and die in 20 years time. This road you close your eyes 2 seconds I guarantee you fly off the mountain and die.

When reached the top, I just realised that I was still in shorts and slippers. Damn mother chee bye cold. Can feel my balls frozen. Next time go up again must wear 3 layer underwear. The last time I went up there was when I was 5. That time my dragon not fully grown. Now my dragon even the China Mei Mei see also scared. They only know how to say "I want more!!" Hahahahaha!! But go up there my dragon become worm. I think shrink until smaller than my 5 year old time dragon. Hahahahaha. All I can say is never take photo at Genting at 4.45am wearing only shorts and slippers.

damn lan ciao-shrinking cold

When we reached First World Hotel, mother chee bye, got a lot of tourist bus unloading passengers there. These people don't need sleep? It was already 5am. But not too bad la. Got a lot sexy sexy mui muis to see. I think they're from China or something. Don't really care. As long can see girls can dee. They all look very cold. Should ask my help ma. My dragon can breathe out fire and warm them a bit. Hahahaha. Parked the car at the side, went in search of the toilet and took some photos.

There was also a Starbucks there and I saw some people drinking those ice-blended thing. I donno la...I'm not a big fan of Starfucks. Only the rich high class people drink. Low class poor Ah Beng like me drink kopi-0 jit poay also happy. Then I realised these people no brain 1 izzit? Up here Genting so cold summore drink ice-blended. Might as well walk around naked. Siao...

yup...5.05am and it's 16 degrees. Colder than my home aircond.

Even took one of myself in front of the hotel. Just in case some people say I'm talking cock and cooking up a fake story. Walked around a bit and we saw this miniature model of the whole of Genting set up in the front lobby. Looks damn chio.

Roller coaster on the bottom left...

closeup of roller coaster...

the real thing itself...

Found the toilet. Took probably the most expensive (fuel and energy wise) piss ever and left the place. We wanted to find the casino. Not to gamble of course. My pocket only left RM20 gamble for fuck ar? We wanted to see some China Mei Mei. But in the end cannot find it. Sienz. Go back Bukit Bintang see the massage Mei Mei or go Chow Kit find the Papaya Farm girls better.

Descending the mountain was like having our ears poked, literally. We were speeding down so fast that our ears could not adapt to the rapid pressure changes. My friend say "You crazy ar...go down mountain also drive so fast?" I looked at the meter and it showed 120kph. I was like "Eh...like not fast enough leh..."

Reached home at 6 and slept straight away. My ears still kinda deaf. My head still a little bit pening. But still, had a great time. I'm now thinking up of new places to go and piss. I have this idea of going to that KLCC twin tower bridge thing and piss there. HAhahahahahaha. Or go some high class hotel like the JW Marriot and piss in the swimming pool. Or perhaps should drive to Melaka and piss on that famous Fort A'Famosa thing.

So what do I think of Genting? It was fun and was a good experience to drive up but definitely not worth the time, energy and fuel. Better take bus or cable car. Probably the 2nd and last time I'll ever go up there again. Unless of course got brothers want go gambling and find China Mei Mei. Then I want go tooooooooooo.....

Financial woes

2006-07-10T09:44:00.000-07:00

Last week damn terrible. My 2nd wife died on me. Sad sekali. Cannot start engine wor it seems. Turn the key so many times but why she cannot start? My friend say relek. Maybe your battery finish. I laugh at him. Kanineh...Lucky got spare bottle of battery water. Under hot sun, sweat like cow refill battery. But still cannot start engine. Die. Going to be late for Goo Bak Teh's tutorial.

I so sad. Have to leave my dear under the hot sun and run to class. Inside class, lecturer stare cock. Never see student late before? Die die must cut your marks, you come so late for what she said. See XXX website until forgot to wake up? Auntie, my car break down, you want me do what? Fly ar? You think Superman meh? So she relek, say won't cut my marks. Whole day cannot concentrate. Always thinking bout my dear. Got sexy girl walk pass also don't want see. Lecturer call me do question also I buat tak tahu. Sorry, not I buat tak tahu. The fact is I really tak tahu buat the question. Call me do got use?

After class straight run outside to check on my dear. Still cannot start. Tulan. Feel like want to punch somebody. Then this stupid punk walk pass. I punched him cause he stare cock, and I don't like his face. Suddenly feel happy so take taxi with my fren go mechanic. When go back to my car time, God play joke on us. Suddenly raining so heavy. Mechanic say wait after rain only repair. Good lo.

Few hours later go get my car from mechanic. The taukeh soh say your car no big problem. We do for you everything sooi sooi, charge you charge very little. We value customer one. Yes ar? When receive bill time nearly fainted.

New battery = RM135
New alternator = RM220
Service charge = RM10
For everything else, go condo top floor and jump down better.

Now everything must cut down. Everyday eat maggi mee. Want eat murtabak also cannot, must down size to roti kosong. Everyday drink home-boiled water. Newspaper and magazines also cannot buy. Smoking also need to cut down. But I'm on my way to quitting cause I've promised my darls(real girlfriend, not car) I will quit. Government also satu macam. Every time increase cigarette price. Want kill ownself faster with cigarette also must pay so much. Like don't make sense like that.

You see I very poor one. Everyone keep on saying my father lawyer sure I'm a rich kid. Rich your kar chng la. I do some maths for you all see.

Monthly allowance = RM1000
Room rental = RM260
Streamyx = RM20
Water and Electric = RM20
Petrol bill = RM200
Food for 1 day = RM15 x 30(1 month) = RM450

If you use your calculator correctly, you will notice I only have RM50 left. RM50 can do what? Find prostitute also cannot. No choice. Stay home see XXX website and DIY. My friend say go buy 4D. I ask him you siao izzit? You think everyday Sunday ar? So easy can strike? You now like donating RM50 to them already. They don't need do anything, sit on their backside sell ticket also can earn more than 4D 1st prize. Why people still so stupid go buy?

Because people lazy work and want earn fast money izzit? That's why la Malaysia cannot progress. All so lazy, work extra a bit kao pek kao boh. When Malaysia cannot make money, blame the Government. Then Government satu macam increase price of everything so can make money back. In the end also the people kena back. Malaysia people damn sohai. Complain here complain there until one big round and kena shoot back. Then complain somemore and prices go up again. Haih...Vision 2020 ar? You all wait longer a bit la...

A car review...Part 2 :- the foreigners

2006-06-17T01:48:00.000-07:00

Here it is...ladies and gent. Part 2 of my car review thingy. If you haven't read Part 1, you are advised to do so. Anyways, this is going to be a very short post as I have only driven 2 foreign branded cars in my life. I know. It's pretty sad.

One of them was the Kia Sportage. Here we have a 4wd people carrier big enough for 5 adults, plus 1 more in the boot. It has a 2 litre engine displacement, comes with an automatic gearbox and has the ability to switch from 4wd to 2wd. Manufacturers always state how technologically advanced this ability is but I say it's close to bullshit. Nobody is going to fiddle with the drives. Why bother? You have your standard instruments. CD player, power window on all four sides and that's the end of the good stuff. If my memory serves me well, it costs about RM80-90k back then...which was in 2002.

Now to my favourite part. The bad stuff. The air-conditioning is stupid. You will not feel a tinge of winterland, whether you are driving under the hot sun or in a rain storm. It's loud. But where is the cold air? The sealing is just as bad as my current car. Smoke from the busses will sip into the car easily. Someone once told me inhaling second hand smoke from smokers would kill you. I will bet my life that you would die earlier sitting in a Sportage, driving behind a smoke-emitting bus. If every other Korean car is going to be like this, it is no wonder the majority of Koreans look like a horse's arse. No, it is not in the genes. It is not in the food. Nor is it a punishment from God. It is just the fact that Koreans are inhaling just a tad too much smoke.

This is a picture of a Korean. He is Park Ji Sung from Manchester United.

This is a picture of a Korean inhaling too much bus smoke. The guy's called Rain or something like that but there...absolute prove that bus smoke can turn you into a butt face.

There is another flaw about the Sportage and it is how loud the engine is at 120 kph. The engine was vibrating. The car was vibrating. The people in it were scared half to death. By the time the Sportage reached 160kph, it is all smooth again. Weird but true. And no, I didn't have the balls to push the Sportage up to a 160. It was my dad's car for crying out loud. Who did it? My mom. A woman driver. It's true.

Now the other foreign car that I have driven was the Honda CRV. Yes another SUV. The Sportage was sold for the CRV. The CRV stands for Comfortable Runabout Vehicle but believe me, as a driver who is 6 feet and above, I can absolutely guarantee there would be no comfort when you are behind the wheel. Instead, Honda should put a notice on their brochures.

"The all new CRV. Comfort at it's best for short people."

You see, for people who are 6 feet, it is no more the Comfortable Runabout Vehicle that everyone else knows. Instead, it has turned into a Crotch Rubbing Vehicle. I am not joking. Sit yourself into the comfortable seats and you start to ask yourself,

"Why the heck is the steering wheel so low that it is already touching my crotch?"

Then you try to adjust the steering wheel, hoping to put it at it's highest level and you realise...IT IS ALREADY AT THE HIGHEST LEVEL! Every turn you make would make the steering wheel rub against your crouch. Now this would actually be a turn on if it was actually a woman rubbing my crotch. But the point is, Honda has once again shown that they are making cars for their available market which would mostly consist of short, thin, small-penised men. And of course the women. Guys out there who're tall, fat, manly and have gigantic penises. Look elsewhere.

Aside from the steering wheel issue, what you have here is a standard SUV with nothing exceptional to show. 2 litres of displacement for the engine with i-VTEC technology(whatever that is...), a fantastic air conditioning system, a stupid looking gear stalk which is next to the steering wheel, CD player, power windows on all four sides and that's it. It comes in at a hefty RM140k.

So you might ask, since I have actually driven these cars, why am I not making any comments on the drivability of these cars? I have to tell you honestly though...I hate SUVs. They are lazy off stand-still. Body roll is very evident around the corners. And you don't look cool anymore. It is a family man's car. Not for a youngster like me. I'd stick to my Saga anytime.

Women are hornier than men

2006-06-12T07:05:00.000-07:00

Ladies and gentlemen. Finally, I have come up with a theory that proves women are hornier than men. Yes. You read right. I am talking about horniness, pervertness, hamsap-ness or whatever you want to call it.

See the other day a couple of my friends were discussing. Discussing about why men are always labelled as perverts when they talk about sex openly. About why men can talk about sex openly and women can't. About why women act all goody-goody when in fact they're as wild in bed. About whether a man's horniness level is indeed higher. Why? We ask ourselves. Well, I thought about it and seriously, it all comes down to general knowledge, a little information about Biology and a couple of basic and simple Mathematics. For those who get easily bored with scientific bullshit, hear me out. Seriously, this is a good one.

You see. Men and women are born equal. Besides the difference in the sexual organs, men and women share similar traits. Both have hands and feet. Both have hair. Both have eyes and ears and a nose. Both have assholes. Both have mouths. Oh yeah...there will be times when some unwanted birth defect would cause a person to be born with an asshole in the place of the mouth. Most people would call them weird but I'd prefer to call them shit talkers. They absolutely love to talk shit and it would take a dildo the size of a horse's penis to stuff and shut their mouths...arrr...I meant assholes...whichever suits you.

Back to the subject proper, another thing that differs men from women is in the genes. You see, the genes that make up a man are the X and Y genes while it is the X and another X gene that makes up a woman. So basically :-

X + Y = XY = man
X + X = XX = woman

Now here we assume that horniness exists in both men and women. So what gene is the common gene that both men and women have? That is right. The X gene. So if men, with their XY genes is labelled as horny, would women with their XX genes be labelled as extra horny? You see it's simple. The X gene carries the horniness in us. So :-

X(horny gene) + Y = XY = horny man
X(horny gene) + X(horny gene) = XX = double horny woman

And BAM!! I have just proven that women are indeed hornier than men. Of course there will be scientific nerds coming up to me, telling me that my theory is wrong. They would argue that maybe, just maybe, it is the Y gene that is the horny gene. Wait a tick. So if I were to put it in a mathematical equation again, wouldn't it look like this?

X + Y(horny gene) = XY = horny man
X + X = XX = plain and simple woman with no horniness level?

No, you assholes! If only the Y gene carries the horniness level in a person, that means women, with their XX genes are labelled as not horny? So where the hell do all the kids come from if women aren't horny? Can you imagine a world without horny women?? There would be no children. No prostitues. No pornography. No free sex. No sex buddies. The world would consist of men running around butt fucking each other...which is sick.

Man I can't believe I've actually derived an equation for a person's horniness. They should give me a Nobel or something. Teachers used to tell me that what I learnt, I will apply in my life. So there you go. It's simple yet absolutely brilliant. So the next time a woman comes up to you with a disgusted look when you're talking about sex openly, please kindly remind her of the X gene which is the horny gene and the equation :-

X(horny) + X(horny) = XX = super horny

And a small message to the women. If you're ever feeling horny(can't blame you...it's in your genes) you know where to find me.

This post is not to demean women.

Like I care.
I'll continue with Part 2 of the car review thingy another day.

A car review...or something like that...Part 1:- the locals

2006-06-10T21:09:00.000-07:00

While watching another episode of Top Gear, which is an automotive show hosted by Jeremy Clarkson, I came to realise that in my 3-4 years of driving, I've been behind the wheel of enough cars to actually host my own car review show. This is sort of a budget car review show because the only cars I've ever driven were Protons so please don't come up to me telling me your Honda or Toyota is a much better car. This post, I'm guessing, is pretty long so without wasting precious time, here we go.

Now the first car that I've ever driven was way back in 2002. It was a sort of training exam which I had to take at the JPJ test circuit and the car was called the Perodua Kancil. Words cannot describe how much I absolutely hate that car. Sure it was based on the Daihatsu Mira if I'm not mistaken but come on. The car makes you have the impression that it was built for your average Malaysian/Japansese/Asian whom must be not much than 4 inches taller than a dwarf. For those hovering around the 6 foot region, it is an absolute nightmare to be driving one of these. Even getting into the car is a chore to me. I have to :-

1) Push the seat all the way to the back
2) Insert myself into the seat, backside first.
3) Bring in my left leg, tucking it under the steering wheel in the process.
4) And finally bring in my right leg.

Since I'm supposed to be driving in a JPJ exam, shoes were a must and being the fat bloke that I am, I have pretty large feet. Which also means that whenever I were to step on the brakes, there's a chance(I reckon 100% chance) that I will be stepping on both the brake AND accelerator pedals at the same time. Yes, because the freaking car is so small. What about the comforts? Now to clear things up, I am not a pussy driver. I do not rely on aids like ABS and traction control when I drive(if I even have any). I have no time to check out any satellite navigation systems(again if I have any) or fiddle around with the radio. I just want a car, not a home entertainment system. And oh yeah, about the comforts, there're none in this car.

Sure some people would argue that with it's small displacement engine(660cc), it is rather fuel efficient. Well for the people who would still persist on getting a Kancil after reading my review, I would suggest you get one of these:-

Yes. It's a car carnival ride. It is just as fuel efficient since it is running on electricity. It has the same amount of space as a Kancil, with no comforts too. It is so much more better looking than a Kancil. And it will do 0-60mph in about the same time as a Kancil :- 4 days. Well what are you waiting for?

Moving on, after receiving my license, I had the the priviledge of driving my mom's car, which was a 1.5 Wira Aeroback with an Automatic gearbox. I was excited. Not because the car was good in any way but because I don't have to drive that shoe-box they call a Kancil anymore. Now the Wira at first glance is sporty. The 13 inch stock rims do not do justice to it's looks. In the car, you ride much lower to the ground compared to a Kancil. Which also means that if you're an 80 year old with cracking bones, you might want to take a look at some other cars. Everything from the exterior to the interior of the car is acceptable. Until...you turn on the engine.

With a displacement of 1.5, you would think that this car would fly(if compared to the Kancil) the moment you step on the accelerator. Boy, you are so wrong. It is not so much the engine at fault here but rather, the gearbox. It is stupid. It is lazy. It is dreadful. And it has ONLY 3 GEARS. What were Proton thinking? Because of the lack of gears and the well spaced out ratio, acceleration from standstill is like waiting for your bull to finish crapping before it continues to pull on your bullock cart. Be warned again that if you're an 80 year old with cracking bones, the steering wheel would literally kill you. It is heavy. It is gripless. Parking with the Wira is a chore. Resting your hand on the gear lever is not recommended for a slight movement of your hand would pull the gear from Drive(which is also D) to second gear (shown as 2) or from Drive to Neutral (shown as N). Stupid really.

Overall a much much better car than a Perodua Kancil.

Now since the Wira was my mom's car, my dad decided it'd be better to get me my own car. And thus, the Iswara came into my life. Again, a displacement of 1.5cc, that same bastard of a gearbox and 13 inch tyres. But wait, there's more. It is much lighter than a Wira, and is actually scarrier to drive above 120kph, has bad air conditioning, a radio from the 80's, less interior space, higher ride height, uncomfortable ride and most importantly, my god, it's ugly.

But again, putting that all aside, it was quite a good car. You see, with all the complains above, I've forgotten to mention one singular thing that makes it stand out :- it's light and bigger turning circle steering wheel. Yes ladies and gents, this car has a very light steering wheel which makes one-handed drives as easy as they come. The turning circle is also far greater that the Iswara can make a U-turn at a tighter space than a Wira. With the light weight, acceleration from standstill is...pretty much waiting for a bull to piss instead of crap before it will pull on the bullock cart but still, slightly faster than a Wira.

Body roll is terrible on this one. Every corner you take at high speeds will send the car leaning to the side so bad that if you were crazy enough to put a cup of water on your dashboard like a certain Japanese cartoon, not only will the water spill out, the whole cup would have flung itself out of the window. It was also during this time that I picked up mountain driving. Not from Initial D but from the fact that I rather drive around bends than trying to go fast on a straight road since the Iswara has only a top speed of...6? Driving on the mountain roads were as uncomfortable as it gets. Picture this :- you're climbing up a mountain, revving high in 2nd gear and a 90 degree corner looms up. What you want to do is to release the throttle a bit to enable engine braking so that your car would slow down and also at the same time correct any understeer. Instead, the gearbox shifts up to third the moment you release your foot off the accelerator, the revs are gone, the power is gone, and you start cursing. Of course you might say that I should be playing with the automatic gearbox, adjusting it from D to 2 to 1 and such but it's an automatic for Christ's sake. No use in pretending it is a manual.

After a year or two with the Iswara, it was time for a change. With around Rm40k as a budget and only new cars on my mind(no more second hand cars for me), it went down to either the Perodua Kancil or the Perodua Kelisa or a Perodua Kenari or perhaps another Proton Iswara. Oh and then...there's also the new Proton Saga LMST. I figure the LMST actually means Lunatic Mean Street Thing. Because believe me, this is the best car that I've ever driven. A downgrade to the engine displacement means I only have 1.3cc to play with. Don't be mistaken however because the Saga comes with a 5-speed manual and it absolutely smokes the 1.5 automatics from standstill. It is pretty much like the Iswara. However, with the additional bumpers and sideskirts, it weighs as much as a Wira which also means, it is much more stable around the bends and more planted to the ground at high speeds.

Some say it looks stupid. But to me, styling isn't a problem. It's how the car drives. With 14 inch tyres, it grips better than the 13 inches that I was so accustomed to. With the fitting of new bumpers to the front, braking while driving down a mountain provides a strong grip as the weight of the car is now focused more to the front. Engine braking can be done as it is a manual. And this thing zips around without much effort, thanks to the properly spaced and sufficient gears. Some say that the exhaust is a tad too loud. I say it is perfect. It is not silent like your everyday car nor is it noisy like the high pitch screams coming from a car fitted with a straight-flow exhaust piping. What it is, is a low basy brumble. Not noisy. Not silent. Just on the mark.

There are only 2 comforts in this car. One...is the power window mechanism on the driver's side. The other comfort would have to be the power window on the passenger's side. The car is at it's most basic. No cruise control, no fancy radio, it is...THE driver's car. It still retains the steering mechanism from the Iswara, which means it is light.

However, there are a few problems. With the small engine displacement, driving in it with 3-4 blokes as passengers means there is never enough power for you to ever meet Gear number 5. The power windows malfunction at times. The sealing is bad. You can actually smell the stench of Laksa(yes..i hate laksa...whatever that is) sipping into the car if you happened to be parked around a Laksa stall. Air conditioning brakes down now and then. Plastics clutter. A few pieces of plastic out of place. Wiper washers not working. Wipers not doing the job right and the list goes on. But that's what I like about it. There are a lot of problems like the one above, but there are none whatsoever with the 4 essential parts. Engine. Gearbox. Suspension. Steering wheel. As I have said before, I drive a car not for it's little party tricks but for the feel of the car. So what if the windows and air-cond are not working? So what if the plastics clutter? I don't care. Give me a car and I'll only do 2 things. Drive it fast. And drive it REALLY fast.

Stay tuned for part 2 where I review a Korean and a Japanese car.

KLIM (lots of pics...56k killer)

2006-06-03T07:33:00.000-07:00

For this post you will notice a lot of broken English and Hokkien words used here. No I'm not changing my style. It's just that my mind is now full of Hokkien Ah Beng-ish words and phrases after listening to this :-

http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?action=download&ufid=819FDE1109792735

Please be warned...For those who don't know Hokkien...don't bother downloading.
For those who are easily offended by obscene Hokkien words, lu ki siam pi ya ku(You go squat at the side)
The link is only valid for 7 days...so if you can't download later...directly ask from me lo.

The first thing that crept up my mind when I saw the KLIM(Kuala Lumpur International Motorshow) billboard was :-

cars + chicks = paradise

I went on a Wednesday at roughly 2pm and kanineh...the whole area outside PWTC was full of cars. Hello brother and sister...you people don't need to work one?? Then when country cannot make money you kao pek kao boh complain here complain there. Tulan simply find 1 parking spot but park there 3-4 hours also get RM7.50 bill...sien...can eat damn a lot roti prata already.

I masuk the hall and wah piang...whole place full of people. Want to see car also can't see properly. Who ask those model girls stand here stand there block the car 1?? Sien...I thought can pose with the car mana tau...sien...so lan lan got this crazy idea go pose with the model girls instead. But kanineh...I forgot to bring my balls that day. Want pose also don't dare. Beh tong lar...the girls all so chun. In the end bo chap siao(don't care) already...straight follow my friend pose.

Even the model must check my crotch there see got bring my balls along or not...wah lau...

Every car also sure got 1 sooi cha bor standing there. Want like that meh?? I tell you...

Every...

Freaking...

God damned...

Chee bai...

Car!!!

Wah lan...go motorshow see motorcar or see girls??

1 more thing...Kanineh I know these girls are models but also don't need so lan si kua...

Lim pek take photo of the girls but none look my way leh...Where can? I know I use phone take picture...quality a bit au(lousy)...but also give face a bit ma. I know I pay RM5 student price...cheapo ticket but still...i visit your booth leh. Wah piang they always smile so sweet at the uncle with big gigantic camera but show tulan face at my camera phone. I show u example la...

taken by my friend with his digi cam...sweet smile leh?

taken with my phone...long chong don wan look at my direction...kanineh...

When we pass by the Volvo booth...wah lan...

Damn panty-wetting, boner-inducing pose leh...chit tau lan ciao teng...

After being questioned by my friends about the whereabouts of my balls...I bo chap siao dee...straight go pose with her...in the end...

Si pek keat...

In the end...sien dee...too many people...destroy the mood only...While heading for the exit, we had to pass another hall...kanineh...the management damn pariah...why they put this hall as the last?? Already tired dee...suddenly...surprise!! we show you big expensive cars which you can only buy if you work and earn money............for the next 200 years.

Fallali...

Lampa...ooops...i mean lambo

BMW 6 series...convertible somemore ok? don't pray pray...

super keat eh porsey...i mean...porsche...

Got plenty of pics summore but I damn lazy to upload dee...kanineh...wan upload 1 pic also need to take 2 minutes. Anyways...it was a good experience lo. I mean..the last show was in 2003...so who knows...maybe this event is like once every 3 years. If you didn't go...wasted la bro. But then...still got JGTC la. Ticket RM250 nia ma...got pit walk leh...a lot meh now? Kanineh...got Jepun poh there leh. JEPUN POH ARR!! Most likely I'll be there la...see how lo.

juz another day..

2006-05-19T01:57:00.000-07:00

You know your day's pretty fucked up when you have to get stuck behind some SUV doing 30kph on a 80kph road with the car right next to you honking like there's no tomorrow. If you're a foreigner or someone from outstation and you're planning a road trip to Penang...here's a tip:-

GET A MAP

Maps are not expensive...seriously.

Plus, Penang is not really that big. Really. There're no highways around Penang unlike KL. In KL if you're on the wrong highway, you'd might just end up in Ipoh. You can't get lost in Penang cause the only highway(or near to it) is the Penang Bridge. So if you to want to go to Batu Ferringi where all the beaches and/or bitches are and you happened to find yourself on the bridge heading to the mainland, you know you're screwed. Well it's just RM7 for the trip back to the island. No worries. Next time, read the signboards. Oh...and study the frigging map.

I forgot to mention how much I hate roadsigns in Malaysia. How many of you guys have been screwed over by the lousy placings of the signboards? I know I have. I wanted to go to Mid Valley once but ended up in Bangsar because I missed a turning caused by a roadsign hidden by trees...Thanx mother-nature. And what's the difference between Desa Sri Hartamas and Kota Sri Hartamas? I know one of them is the happening area with pubs and all that and the other is a shit-hole housing area. Seriously...who can actually tell which Hartamas is the happening 1? Malaysia should have more signs like these:-

I can't believe hardly anyone complain about the roadsigns. Even if they did, I don't think the government would give a shit. They don't know anything. They don't drive. They get chauffered. With police escort and the shit. Damned MPs. Couldn't you drive a Proton Saga like everybody else? Sheesh...they'll never do anything as long as they don't experience the pain in trying to read the signboards. So I say SCREW Malaysian signboards. I'mma go get myself a GPS system. Peace.

P/S
I know this post is bloody short but I can't help it okay? Holidays have got my brain rotting. Screw the holidays.

2006-05-07T08:05:00.000-07:00

I'm starting to realise how much I hate rich artsy-fartsy bastards. You see, while I was going through the papers the other day, I came across an article about a Picasso painting being auctioned off at a starting price of USD50 million. As if to piss us poor people even further, the painting made the newspapers again 2 days later, this time being bought at a final price of USD95 million. Converted to Malaysian currency at the current exchange rate that would translate into RM332.5 million.

Lord Christ! RM332.5 million! Am I the only one who sees something wrong here? Why are people dumb enough to pay so much cash for a painting by some unknown cock? Sure the guy became famous through word of mouth but seriously, how many of you guys out there have seen a Picasso painting without exclaiming "Now that's some fucked up shit"? I'm not kidding. I have pics to prove it.

Now that's some fucked up shit. Who are these people forking out RM332.5 mils for this pile of poo? I wouldn't even part with RM3.32 for this for I think the money is better spent on a Double Cheese Burger. This painting is the stuff that nightmares are made of. Check out the ghostly-vampiric hands. If this picture were to be shown to some 5 year old kid, he'd cry and shit his pants. Hell I'd shit my pants too if I were to part with 332.5 mil for this painting. In fact I'd rather get electrocuted than hang this crap in my living room. Check out the face man.

If the above doesn't send shivers down your spine, I don't know what will. The first time I saw it in the newspapers, I couldn't sleep for days. I had to visit a brain surgeon so I could get my brain vacumned and thus making me forget about that scary piece of shit. Man, I hate art. Both old and modern art. These so called famous artists seems to be making millions by just shitting paint out from their assholes all over the canvas. I used to love art and I used to draw a lot but then I turned 5. And video games were all that mattered at that age.

I can still hardly believe someone would actually pay enough money to buy an island or two for this crap. I could have drawn so much better than that but would anyone pay me USD95 mils? ?NoooOOooOOoo...no way. Why not? Well here's a hint. My name doesn't starts with a "P" and ends with "icasso". Another one from Picasso :-

Can you believe people call this art? Those status-seeking rich fat fucks buy ugly stuff like this to show off to their friends. "Hey look...I got a Picasso". And his friends would start patting him on the back whilst showing their admiration for him. In case you don't know, this is a way to suck up to him so that if ever that rich fuck should meet an untimely end, at least a few of his millions would be passed down to his friends, including this cock-of-a-painting so that the new holder of this painting can start boasting again to his own clique of friends who then start sucking up to him to get his millions but will never get any attention from normal people like us because we hate Picasso to begin with and the only way we're ever gonna get his millions is by killing him. Oh and selling that god-awful painting.

Also included here is my own painting. Look at the vibrant colours. Look at Mr. Sun smiling. For it is a sunny day indeed and me kicking Picasso in the ass would have brought a smile to anyone, sun included. Now where's my USD95 mils?? Damn it man...

2006-05-03T22:02:00.000-07:00

Someone once told me that the food in Kuala Lumpur sucked ass and that it was no where near as good(or perfect) as the food from Penang. Having lived in Penang for over 20 years, I couldn't really tell if a particular food here is good or bad for the fact that I didn't have food from any other place to compare with and also the fact that food all over Penang is good. Oh wait...my mistake...I meant food all over Penang is VERY good.

Now having lived and sampling food around KL for a year, I have come to this conclusion...that the food in KL is just slightly below, if not, on par with Penang food. No I'm not joking so stop laughing fags. However, the price here is enough to make you think twice about having double helpings(as I usually do...not that you can't tell from my size). The prices are a turn off really. Real potong stim. Plus it doesn't help the cause knowing that you paid RM3.50 for "wantan mee" which didn't come with any "wantan" or RM3.00 for a fried rice which is..ermm...literally...fried rice. Only rice and egg. No chicken, no pork, no whatever. Wtf right?

However all is not that bad because food in KL is really unique. Well, to a Penangite anyways. There's this stall selling Butter Pork Chop Rice in Jalan Genting Klang and man, this stuff is so good it'll blow your tastebuds away. The name of the dish is not exactly something which will induce fits of food orgasms but then hey, I've only got 3 years to stay in KL...no regrets..just try.

Now I know it looks a little creamy but that's the best part. The sauce is like melt-in-your-mouth goodness. The creamy rich texture of the sauce is so good that I could have wetted my pants from the indescribable feelings I had each time I ate this(10 bucks says you'd wet your pants too if you'd try it...game enough?). So there we have lightly fried crispy pork chop with a sauce made up of a little butter, milk, spiced up with green chillis and garnished with curry leaves. I've absolutely fallen in love with this dish and I make it a point to eat it at least once a week or so.

There is also this other stall somewhere within the vicinity that sells Thai Fried Rice. I think everyone here has more or less eaten something along the lines of rice fried Thai style. "So what so special bout this one lah?" I hear u ask? Nothing...really...except that the flavour of this Thai Fried Rice will grab you by the balls and you'd be hooked to this dish immediately. No shit. This has gotta be one of the best Thai Fried Rice I've ever had. Not to mention the amount of rice that they fry for you when you order a large plate.

"Wah...like mountain" a friend exclaimed.

"WTF?"

No really...the amount is quite a lot...considering you're paying 4 bucks for this dish. But I must warn you. This dish taste as close to horse shit as ever when it is cold. I made the mistake of "tapao-ing" this dish back for supper the other day. So within the 5 hours it was just sitting there, some kind of funny reaction must have taken place and I was eating horse shit...literally...I'm serious...tidak ber-joking-kan.

Eat it while it's hot. You have been warned.

There're plenty of other unique and tasty food in KL which I will take photos of and post up here later. So if anytime you're in KL and within the area where I'm living, call me up and I'll bring you guys to check the above food out. You'd love it. Cos if u don't I'd kick you in your nuts. Peace.

oh well..

2006-04-30T10:19:00.000-07:00

The below is not a poem so don't ask me why the lines are not rhyming. I'll hit you if you do. You have been warned.

It was my first time.
They say doing it for the first time would blow your mind away.
I was scared, frightened, on the verge of of being hysterical.
Is this right? Am I allowed to do this?
I'm still young and the thought of baring any responsibilities after kept lingering in my mind.
Should I do it?
"Be a man la bro"
I could still hear this saying in my thoughts.
Thanks a lot whoever you are.

Mom and Dad have always told me to avoid this until I am of legal age.
They always told me that the responsibilities that come after are of too much a burden for a young man.
It was a taboo topic.
Mom and Dad never brought this issue up during family dinners.
What I know, I learnt from books and websites.
I shall today prove Mom and Dad wrong and that I am old enough to do it.

Alright...a man I shall be then.
I got hold of her.
She was well endowed with curves at all the right places.
I didn't know what to do at first for I had no prior experience.
I stared at her and she stared at me.
Looking at each other, I realised we were meant to be together.
No one could separate us.
The first thing I wanted to do was to kiss her.
To savour her aroma(or lack of).
To know that from now on, there is no turning back.

We put mouth to mouth.
Sparks sparkled and fires kindled.
It was amazing.
I wanted more. I couldn't get enough.
She had this uncanny ability to make me high.
I never knew what it is that she did but she did it well.

I felt my knees go weak.
My head was spinning.
I never expected such mental and physical torture.
All this while with an indescribable feeling inside of me.
I looked at her and she was glowing with pride.
Knowing that she has me in her grasp.
A few more minutes and I couldn't take it anymore.
The thought of all those responsibilities vanished.
I just wanted to have a good time with her.
Finally, she burned out. Tired.
I too was tired but I wanted more.
So I turned around and went "Bro...borrow me your lighter"
For I wanted more and there's no better satisfying feeling than a cigarette.

---A tribute to polluting the Earth's air for a rough estimation of four years---

Cheers.

2006-04-30T08:28:00.000-07:00

The other day while I was reading the newspaper, I came across something which was quite out of the ordinary. Now I don't usually do newspaper reviews or whatever but I'm getting bored with life anyways. When the newspaper is the next most entertaining thing to do to masturbation, you know it is time to reevaluate your life and think about the next best thing to do to lighten up your life :- So I ran up to some random guy and punched him in the face...Man, that felt so good.

Anyways, in the Metro section, there was this gigantic picture of our very own Youth and Sports Minister kicking some ang moh in the nads and ruining his shit for the rest of the day. You can tell from his expression that this was no publicity stunt and the picture wasn't taken just for interest's sake. THIS REALLY HAPPENED. IT IS NOT A POSE. And right at the bottom there's this sentence "Sports Minister Datuk Azalina Othman Said shows how a woman can defend herself during the first session of an ambitious self-defense programme for the fairer sex"

Wohhhhh...ambitious indeed. I'm shivering in my pants already. It's a self-defense class for the fairer sex. Wow. I'm already expecting a couple of girls running up to me and ruining my shit too.Woooo. So they actually teach you how to kick balls in that class? AND IN THE FIRST SESSION TOO?? Wow!
Man, you'd know this is some fucked up shit when kicking a guys balls is labelled as self-denfense. When a man slaps a woman's boobs, it is called sexual assault. But when a woman kicks a guy in the nuts, it is called self-defense?? This is horse shit. You don't see the former Sports Minister(that Hishamuddin guy, our current Education minister) uppercutting a woman in her jaw while laughing and labelling it as self-defense. You don't get a picture where a woman grimaces in pain as she holds her jaw. Man that would rule so hard but we know this will never happen because women's rights activist will start bitching all over the place.

Which brings me to another article. You see there's this MP(member of parliament) who recently made a comment that women divorcees are "gatal" or randy in English. Before he could even say "Just kidding fags" he was lambasted left,right, and centre by, as expected, women's rights groups and a couple of guys who're probably too gay to even think straight. Look, everyone's entitled to their own opinion. I wish everyone would just stop bitching over small issues like this. Women's rights groups are always waiting to pounce on men who label women in a bad way. Here's something for you women's rights fags to ponder on :- GET A JOB!

Anyway, I think our current Sports Minister is a deranged psycho who enjoys basking in the lime light with the fact that she's a big shot now. Every other day there are pictures in the newspaper of her playing badminton, checking out stadiums, working with young sports men and the like. She will never get the fact that NOBODY CARES and the only reason we're reading the sports pages of a newspaper is because of the football coverage and/or the Magnum and Toto winning numbers. Holy shit, I just labelled a woman as a deranged psycho. Anytime now, I might be kicked in the balls. I have to be more careful. Bah...blast this bullshit.

2006-04-13T09:55:00.000-07:00

I was going through an entertainment magazine(Galaxie) the other day when I noticed...Hollywood is all out of macho action stars. Now usually I don't read entertainment magazines for the fact that there is nothing entertaining in them at all. Not even one naked chick. Now naked chicks are entertaining and if you beg to differ, I'd kick you in the nuts homo. Anyways...I only picked up that magazine because Galaxie was all out promoting it's "new look" and "new contents" recently. Indeed...new look, new content, same old bullshit.

Back to the subject proper, I can't recall the last time Hollywood produced an action movie with a macho looking star. Where were the days when an action star would jump through a glass door and pop every single terrorist in the head with his macho gun while screaming "Yippie-ky-yay mother fucker" ala Bruce Willis in the Die Hard series? What ever happened to Stallone and his antics in Rambo? Man, Rambo kicks so much ass. He's a one man army. Holy shit! I wonder what happened to Steven Seagal. Man, that guy could whip every gun-wielding baddie's behind with his own bare hands. Fucking cool!

Nowadays, our "new" action stars come in the form of :-
Orlando Bloom?? Gay
Jude Law?? Gay
Brad Pitt?? Totally gay
Colin Farrell?? He's got the look but still pretty much gay.

I can't stand the action stars of today. All clean shaven and looking good. All going with that new trend called metrosexual. What's a metrosexual anyways? Oh wait, I don't give a shit. I can't remember the last time I went to the cinema to watch an action flick. Action flicks nowadays are just all good looks and no action. Sure the effects are so much more spectacular but that's the worst part. These new stars depend on effects way too much. Just look at The Matrix. Now that's 3 whole episodes of the biggest horse crap in action movie history. Oh yeah, action stars of today depend too much on stunt doubles too. These people don't do their own stunts do they? I forgot...they might brake a nail and have to go for a manicure. Stupid homos.

There's also this new trend of getting some black guy, or African-American guy if you wanna put it to star in action flicks. Look at that black guy in XXX2. All attitude but all lame bull crap. What about Will Smith and Martin Lawrence in the Bad Boys movie?? Again all attitude but these guys can't kick ass. The effects were good but that's only it. Half the time these guys go into gun fights, they would like jump around, roll around, run around but still emerge from that aftermath squeaky clean. WTF weh??

And don't get me started on that Di Crap-io...oh my bad...Di Caprio guy and even Keanu Reeves. Mr. Reeves must be using some hell of a hair gel because no matter how many times he kicked ass or got his ass kicked, there's not even a single strand of hair misplaced. How the hell can that happen? Where's all the blood and gore that comes with action flicks? Man Hollywood sucks...Oh yeah..there's this guy, can't really remember his name, Jason something, who starred in the Transporter flicks. Now that guy kicks ass but he's no where near as macho as Bruce Willis cos everybody knows Bruce Willis is da man yo.

On a non-related topic, there was a picture in the Star paper, dated 13/4/06 that depicted a couple of Indonesians burning copies of the new Indonesian Playboy, stating their religious beliefs as the catalyst of them doing so. Man what the fuck is wrong with these homos?? Just a few of the myriads of stupid people around the world. Man...Playboy? Burn? Stupid...

myheritage.com

2006-04-09T03:30:00.000-07:00

You people have gotta go try this...go to this site www.myheritage.com and try out it's celebrity look-alike thingy there...I had nothing better to do on a Sunday so I uploaded like 5-6 pics of myself in different poses and...well...

Ignore the cruel cruel fact that I look like a bunch of dead scientists...but accept the fact that if I were ever born an American, I might just look like Josh Hartnett...This is too cool for I know if I ever looked like him, I'll be getting free blowjobs all over the place...Man...

Anyways...go and try it for yourselves...upload a few pics of yourselves with different expressions and see your results...have fun

2006-04-08T08:37:00.000-07:00

I was at a hypermarket today...doing some light grocery shopping when I noticed this small sized Indian woman at the soap department...Nothing surprising at first but I noticed something really strange. In her basket, there were like packs upon packs of soap...you know...not those liquid soap but soap that comes in ermm...satu ketul satu ketul. Yeah..those kind...Anyway...There must have been like 7 packs of it in there and don get me wrong here...each pack has like 3 ketul of that soap in it. That makes it out to be a whopping 21 ketul of soap...

Perhaps she's just buying the soap for her family or...like...making a donation to some charity house or something. Yeah...perhaps...but perhaps we can skew our imagination a bit and just accept the fact that Indians need a lot of soap to get rid of that certain odour they have. Don't get me wrong here...I'm not a racist...I love Indian people...friendliest people on the planet(that's for you, you Chinese speaking fucks)...but I just can't stand their odour...Everytime an Indian sits or stands anywhere within a 3 feet radius of me I feel like I've just been punched in the nose...The odour...oooooohhh...I bet any mosquitoes flying around would have died immediately...Who needs foggings? Get an Indian to move around the house...and you're mosquito-free..
Can you imagine how it must have felt like during a MIC general meeting?? Fuhhhh...

2006-04-08T08:01:00.000-07:00

That's it...I don't care man...You might hate me for saying this but I'd still say it anyways...
Most Chinese(educated) people, if not, all, are sick dicks with nothing better to do in their lives...
Now what prompted me to say this is because of a couple of dumbfucks living 2 floors above me having a great time singing karaoke...
Well nothing's wrong with that exceot the fact that it's 12 bloody midnight and it's already exam season...So who the hell can actually study in a condiotion like this...you tell me...

I'm so pissed...I think there's a weird connection between Chinese people and karaoke...For 20 years I've never even been to a karaoke centre..Now...just 2 sems in and I must have been there like 5-6 times...5-6 BLOODY TIMES!!!...I know it's weird but I was just following a bunch of friends...which then gets me thinking again. Just about every other person here celebrates his/her birthday at a karaoke centre...*shrugs* I mean what's up with that?? What happened to big-ass dinners or barbeques or even hotel stays?? Everytime we're there, they keep singing the same songs over and over again. Ohhhh-kay...that sounds like fun. NOT!!!

I'm starting to wonder if people here actually know how to have fun. Hell no I'm going to another karaoke gathering. I'd rather stay home and masturbate. The other day I asked some random fella if there was anything else people around here do for fun...The fella(not mentioning if it's a he or she) mentioned movies........movies.....MOVIES??? What the fuck are movies?? No...I don't go to the movies to have fun...I go to the movies just to pass my free time. You don't get any fun staring at a screen for 2 hours...NO! Geezzz...So the fella posted the same question back to me...
When I told him I'd rather sit for 2 hours at a shopping centre staring at chicks instead of going to a movie...the fella gave me the weirdest look...It's like he's saying "Dude...what the fuck?"...So I was like "Dude...what the fuck?"...and the fella told me that there're so many more other things better to do than staring at chicks...WRONG HOMO! you are so bloody wrong...

Anyway...back to the subject proper...karaoke's still going on, loudly, and there seems to be something tickling the girls up there cos they're laughing...loud...for no apparent reason...WTF right?? Then there's this Malay nut living downstairs and he's starting to scream like "oi...jangan bising" to them...but all this seems funny to them as they kept laughing at the Malay guy...WTF right?? Now...the karaoke gang must be trying to piss the Malay guy and me and the non-Chinese educated people and perhaps everyone else further by turning up the volume by an extra few nothces...WTF right??

That's it...most Chinese educated people are sick bastards and there comes a time when they should start to learn the meaning of "SHUT THE FUCK UP"
Peace

2006-04-02T09:57:00.000-07:00

For the Football and Championship managers fanatic out there...here's a tip...
If you are looking for a new team to manage...Juventus is your choice...
If you have lots of spare cash with you, buy this player...
If you have the patience, sign him when his contract expires...
For there is no better player out there then...
*jeng jeng jeng*

Zlatan Ibrahimovic

Ignore the fact that I'm using the Thai currency...bloody game has a bug in it...couldn't change to pound sterlings...

Anyways...the stats says everything...and don forget to check out his match rating...

In a recently played game...

Conclusion:- Zlatan Ibrahimovic kicks ass

2006-03-26T07:32:00.000-08:00

Long long time ago when I was small and chubby,
My parents always talk to me in English, so very easy,
They never teach me Mandarin li,
Cause nobody in Penang speak, afterward people think you silly,
I go to school everyday, also speak the England only,
I got take Mandarin class last time,but in the end tak jadi.

Last time in Penang I always talk English with my buddy,
So happy cause we share here share there while enjoy kopi,
But now I come KL...nobody understand me,
Nobody here speak the England,I feel like mati,
And they always think I am orang asing like Bangkali,
"I cannot speak Mandarin", I tell the kopi tiam aunty,
She so stunned, look at me face so funny.

Got many new people in university,very happy,
But they always speak Mandarin, habis la me,
I try to speak to them in English, say Hieeee,
They look at me, then turn away, abaikan me,
I sit at there, look at the wall and "soak hun khee"(smoking),
But all think I am background, think I am like tree,
I always tulan, go ambil kereta lari, while scream PUKI.

Girl look at me think I am weirdo lelaki,
Know I don't know Mandarin but still wan speak that to me,
They cannot accept that "wo pu huay jiang hua yee"(I don't know mandarin),
Summore nowsaday my English sudah teruk like monkey,
Suppose to say He but I say She, must say She I say He,
Summore I write story, not funny already,
I make jokes, but nobody laugh with me,
Cause they don't know English jokes, all Cina lagi.

Go restaurant order food but tak boleh jadi,
The menu all in Chinese, how to order the roasted babi??
So pai seh must call my friend order for me,
Best place is go mamak order kopi and roti,
I very tired of this place already,
Lucky the semester going to habis satu bulan lagi,
At least I can go home and see my family,
And find my friends so together drink kopi.

But still, I have some good friend here with me,
They always support me although I bu huay jiang hua yee,
They are William,Fatcat,Yap Hong,Chor,Siang and JC,
They are now my saviours in this foreign-like country,
Names not in order 1 okie?
So JC if u reading this, your name last cause must rhyme, poem li,
Got many more good friends but hard to say all,so sorry,
Cause I running out of idea and rhymes, want end my story.

So I will end my story,
I know today story not funny,
Cause I no mood, simply cakap nonsense li,
Conclusion:- No, I will not learn Mandarin lagi,
Although this means I will mati,
But fuck, I don't give a shit, puki,
If my father didn't learn Mandarin, so will me,
Like my father, I will not teach my children Mandarin, I lazy,
If they suffer, I tell them don't need worry,
As long as your English powderful, you can make money already,
As long you make money, your life very comfortable I guarantee.

2006-03-19T23:34:00.000-08:00

Recently looked through a few old pics in my hp...so...

What Penangites do when they come to Kay Elle

We engage in fake jedi fights with friends from other states...especially when the final exams are just on the next day.

We use the gym equipment from the hotels...although none of us were staying there at the time...

We bring our kick-ass cars down to show...no wait...we pose with kick-ass cars belonging to people we don't even know

We love squeezing cow tits...

and squeezing more tits...

And we love to eat...

Dedicated to the friends who had liven up and brought joy to my high school life...you guys are the best..

P.S.

I didn't have pics of many more friends and brothers from high school but I still love them all the same...will pose their pics if I ever get them...God bless...

current feeling :- nostalgic...wishing to go back to the old days again...

A story about the money

2006-03-18T06:58:00.000-08:00

When I was young, my daddy have many money,
Many people also have many many money,
Everybody spend here spend there, don need worry,
But 1997 economy crash, everybody mati,
Last time always eat 'sio tu bak' but now can eat roti only,
Last time always buy Transformer robot play but now can play with "xiao didi" only,
Last time always go outstation play but now can stay at home only watch TV,
Last time always get ang pau big big heavy heavy,
Nowsadays get the angpau not enough to buy burger Ramli,
Last time Auntie Uncle always buy new toy for me,
Now Auntie Uncle donno disappear where, never see them lagi,
Aiyoyo...where all the money pergi already?

They say we poor cause government always play with money,
Monsoon Cup in Terengganu cost RM300 juta li,
There...the competition they use boat race lai race khi,
Cost so much, nobody go, money also terbang pergi,
Then everyday in newspaper can read about AP,
Argue here argue there but in the end also the rakyat rugi,
Samy Vellu always build road, very safe he guarantee,
But MRR2 sudah mahu runtuh, very scary,
Bodoh punya orang, can go tell him play with his "poay ki"(tfk),
Proton car cost so much money,
But inside, macam tong sampah, so easy spoil, very kek khi(mad),

Nowsadays, petrol price sudah naik lagi,
Sien la like that, want ronda also must think properly,
Mui mui chai all call fetch here fetch there go kai kai see see,
But I must say no, because no money and also I very lazy,
Najib promise no more price hike for this year lagi,
But Najib don't know anything, cause he got many money,
Summore study in UTAR, very expensive, really can mati,
The lecturers there all very smart but look like monkey,
Smart also no use cause they always teach like Bugs Bunny,
The food there so expensive and also very lousy,
The car park also not free, must pay money lagi,
UTAR got nothing to play 1, sien ka pua si,
This is the thing that will make you shout "kan ma puki"

Daddy always say don spend too much money,
Money not easy to earn, must use wisely,
I also know money hard to earn but nowsadays different already,
Last time RM1 can buy 1 bowl Hokkien Mee,
But now, RM1 also cannot buy Maggi Mee, buy chocolate also tak jadi,
Go shopping ask for discount, salesman will show their face so funny,
Tell you no discount, don't waste time go back home play tai tee,
Ever got many many girls in KL all pretty, sexy lili,
I always want chase them but they always lari,
Cause they say I no money and face look like donkey,

So hor, money not very easy to get li,
So we must appreciate the money,
So I already want end my story,
Hope you all got enjoy syok syok laugh lai laugh khi.

peace out
Current feeling :- not down...but bored...and hence the stupid poem above.

2006-03-17T08:25:00.000-08:00

I'mma in China man....weeee...no shit, serious...
I've been here since January and I'll probably be here for another 2 years plus...
You know the feeling you get when you enter a foreign country??
You know.......the culture differences...the people...the language...the language and the language??
Man I've dropped shit on the Chinese people in Kay Elle before and I'mma gonna drop a whole load more crap...

You see...after the ending of a very terrible and traumatic first sem in uni, I had told myself, "Dude...you gots to learn up mandarin man...or at least...make do like you actually understand what the fuck these people are saying...nod your head at whatever shit they're spitting out...you don't really care what they say...Dude...learn up mandarin...or yous gonna gets pawned"

So I went back to uni for the start of the 2nd sem which was just right after the New Year...All went well...Yes...I still have no freaking clue what people are trying to say...and I still don't care. But being the paranoid bastard that I am, I keep getting the chills...you know...the feeling you get when someone spits something in Chinese and you realise that that asshole might just be stabbing you in the back? Yeah...I've been having this feeling for the past few weeks...no idea why...and suddenly...this place feels like China. You walk to a bunch of friends :- MANDARIN...another bunch of friends:-MANDARIN...walk to the canteen uncle:-MANDARIN....to the kopi tiam outside:- MANDARIN...It's China I tell you...it's freaking China...nobody speaks any other language except mandarin...

Pissed...and today...I got a surprise from somebody...It's all in Chinese...I wouldn't have given a fuck but then...check it out :-

A friend of mine told me it was some loan-shark shit...I've taken the liberty to blacken out the number...just in case these bastards tak rak syok that I advertised for them on the net...

On the back of the card....
No shit Sherlock...Thanx for figuring the obvious...Money is indeed a problem....

Now do you people believe me when I say I'm in China?? Their English suck so much balls...I would have corrected their English and make them sound more professional...all they need to pay me was just a box of cigarettes...

More news...I've moved in to a new place...all's great...I have a wonderful room...with windows...directly beside the common corridor...which is used by just about every other asshole living on the same floor. Now what's fucked up is that these people just can't shut the hell up...they have to walk around shouting and screaming and you've guessed it right...in mandarin. So it's like you're sleeping and you're having a dream about getting laid by some Jap pr0n star(it's pr0n now...not porn) but then these young fucks start walking past your window speaking some unknown crap...waking you up...getting you pissed...and you'll be having your shit ruined for the rest of the day.

Oh and 1 more thing...In China(or Kay Elle if you like to call it) they make probably the worst sundae cones in the whole friggin universe...The sundae cones here suck shit...serious...you'd walk into Mc'D...hoping for a sundae cone that looks like...

but instead...you get something that looks just about like this...

Now ain't that the shittiest sundae cone you've ever seen in your life?? I swear...I didn't do shit to that disaster of a sundae cone...I just bit off the top...sad indeed...I paid RM1.50 plus tax for a pile of horse shit...Oh well...being a chocolate top sundae cone...I still finished it...cause everybody knows chocolate top sundae cones kick so much ass...

peace out...
current feeling:- down but glad that my mild sevens are here to accompany me...

dumb people

2006-02-01T03:19:00.000-08:00

Here's a no-brainer...I was told by a friend that the particular Mc'D outlet we were at had run out of Beef Prosperity Burgers so....

Girl at counter :- Welcome to Mc'Donalds...how may I help you??
Me :- Yeaaaaa...I'd like 1 of those Prosperity Burgers please...Chicken 1 yeah...
Girl :- Do you want Chicken or Beef??
Me :- *silence* Ohhhhhh-kayyyyyy...get me the Beef 1 then...
Girl :- *in a loud tone* We no more Beef Prosperity Burger laaaaaa...
Me :- Then get me the Chicken you dumbass (spontaneous reaction...I couldn't control myself from calling her dumb)
Girl :- *stares at me long and hard and went on to prepare my meal*
Me :- *passes the burger to my friend in fear that she might have spat into it out of anger*

Just one of the many pea-brained asses I meet in life...

awwww...shut up...

2006-01-11T11:54:00.000-08:00

I hate girls who always act so high and mighty just because they're...well...girls...
I was in this MSN chatroom the other night when just out of a sudden I went:-

WTF??

Well...it's one of my more common reactions but...
Some bitch I don't even know told me to not be rude...cause there're girls in the chatroom...
Holy crap...nobody calls me rude...

Guess what bitch?? Like I give a damn...nobody cares... fuck off...

P.S.
they left the chatroom before I could open a can of whoop-ass all over their cibais...they knew wat was coming...bitches...

english sucks....

2006-01-11T10:57:00.000-08:00

So I thought having English as a subject for the new sem would be great since English is like...the next easiest shit in the universe to looking for porn on the Internet...
I'm not trying to boast that my English is good...heck...sometimes...I is also use a little bit of the Manglish la...
But then...UTAR has a knack of messing things up...remember the hula hoops??
Well...this time around...they've put both my English lectures and tutorials right smack next to each other...
So on Thursdays...weeeee...it's 8.30-12...yes...3 and a half freaking hours of English...
Even if I liked English...which I don't to begin with...I can't stand 3.5 hours of it...no one can...it's fucking stupid...

So if you wanna have 3.5 hours of English...at least get a lecturer who can garner the attention of the students for that long...
Half an hour into my first English class and I was already bored out of my mind...
Our first activity?? Discuss why you wanna be a scientist....
Fuck no...we shouldn't be discussing this shit in English class because this shit's for kindergarten little kiddies...
Ask them why they wanna be scientists and they'll be giving you their innocent naive answers:-
"I wanna create something"
"I wanna make money"
"Scientists are cool"
No dumbass...Scientists are not cool...
My answer would have been "I wanna be a scientist so I can take over the world.Now that's cool.Period."

Next on the agenda was a debate...
The topic:- Scientists bring more harm than good...
I was on the side supporting the scientists...
I nearly blew myself up when the topic was given...It was just another no-end debate...
1 side goes "thanx to aeroplanes...SARS is now found all over the world"
The other side would go "But SARS is chicken flu...nature stuff...nothing to do wiv scientists"
Before long both sides picked up their boxing gloves and punched the hell out of each other...
Of course...being the more sensible and logical one...I just watched...
I knew this debate had no end to it as each side pummelled each other with their points...
If they had actually let me speak I would have told them:-
"Without scientists we'll all still be stuck in caves with leaves covering our private parts and having raw goat's meat for dinner.Done"
Who gives a shit about a little harm? Man...

Final agenda was the homework given...
Guess what we have to do? OOOoooo...We have to go discover something...
I know...you're as confused as I am...
Everyone was like "What the fuck?" and that's before the lecturer picked up a chair, put it on a table and explained:-
"Go...go out to discover something...like this chair...go find out why it has 4 legs...go find out why it has a backrest...go find out why it has a seat...go...goooooo you dumb fucks..go discover"
I was only seconds from bursting out in laughter....
Nooooooooooooooooooooo...having lived for 20 years...I still would not know what the 4 legs of a chair are for...and I have to go discover it...Man I love being a scientist...NOT!!!

dim sum?

2006-01-06T03:31:00.000-08:00

I was sitting on the toilet bowl...doing my own pang sai business when I started thinking...
oh and btw...I always do my deep thinkings about life when on the toilet bowl...
So I was thinking bout me and the course I'm currently doing...Is it the right one??
While in Chemistry practical today, someone happened to ask the lecturer...who happens to be a PHD holder(who isn't?? PHD holders are like freaking everywhere)...about what our future job prospects would be like...
He was like...
"Ummmm...."

Yeah...he had no idea...
When we mentioned that if teaching is the only choice left...he was like...
"I guess so, I'm afraid..."
To add more woe to our miseries, the lecturer was a Chemistry graduate himself...
So that more or less confirms it...
I'm doing the wrong course and I'll be ending up in front of a class of youngsters teaching them a subject which I have a personal grudge on since Day 1(yes...just to refresh your mind..I've never passed Chem since Form4...I passed it in SPM and STPM though)

And then I think back to the time when I was still deciding what to do in life...
It's that fork at the end of the road...
To one end was the choice of continuing my studies...
And on the other end was the choice of coming out into the business world...
My dad had offered to give me a sum of money to start my own business...which happens to be related to cars...
So I chose the end with the studies...
There...more forks came out...and I had no idea what to do...
8-9 months later...I'm here...in Kl...it's 8pm and I'm alone at home...typing this...

And now I wonder...If I had taken the path leading towards starting my own business...would I still be alone at home on a Friday nite? With nothing better to do than to go online? Perhaps I would be out with my fellow car enthusiasts drinking the night away?? Or I would be working on another car?? which happens to be something which I am very passionate about...Or maybe I would be dealing with a failed business which will only end with me going bankrupt??

1 week into the new sem and I'm already contemplating quitting my studies to venture into the business world...It can be anything...a car shop?? a kopi-tiam?? or perhaps selling dim sum??
You see...I've just realised how important money will be to me in the future...and it will not be for my personal usage only...
No...my dad will not support me anymore...heck...I have to support him and the whole family instead...
But how can I when I'm only earning a teacher's pay??
Perhaps I should just stop leaching all my dad's money(RM30k for a 3 year course...living expenses not included) and start to do something that might have me repay my dad for his many years of supporting me...

Honestly I'm sick of studying...
so the next time you have dim sum in a new restaurant in Penang...it could just be me running it...
peace...

fucking chio....

2006-01-04T05:37:00.000-08:00

ermm...nothing much...just too damn chio...wooo hooooooooooo....

another 1 about UTAR...

2005-12-30T09:05:00.000-08:00

So finally...after 3 months of holidays...I'll be going back to KL for my 2nd sem in uni...After hearing stories from friends in various local universities, all I can say about UTAR(the uni I'm in now) is that it will never even come close to the other local universities in terms of facilities and...well...just about everything. I felt so damn inferior whenever my friends mention how awesome their unis were...I was digging deep within myself to actually come up with something good to say about my uni...Man...

Okay...I wanted to give a little credit to UTAR...so I started searching their website for anything good that they might have...Let's start off with...the logo maybe?? The pic below depicts some logos of a couple of local universities...

Pretty...aren't they??

Ladies and gents I'm proud(NOT!) to present to you the logo of UTAR!!

uh huh..yeah...

Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy...my uni logo...wonderful isn't it??
I wonder what would my grand kids say...

Grandkid :- Ah kong...why your uni logo...like...no standard 1?
Oh...and like all other logos...my uni logo comes with a set of well...explanations too :-

-Blue, yellow and red, being the national colours reflect the Malaysian identity of the institution.(YOU FORGOT WHITE)

-The letter 'A' in auspicious red gives it prominence, suggesting distinction and excellence in the education provided by UTAR. Red also signals success, prosperity and protection from negative forces.(THE LAST SENTENCE WAS SOOOOOOO MADE UP BY A CHINESE...I MEAN...PROTECTION FROM NEGATIVE FORCES??? WHAT ARE YOU?? FENG SHUI MASTER??)

-The swing of the bold stroke signifies a 'yes', a mark of enthusiastic approval and the right choice.<<<----(IF THEY HAD NEVER MENTIONED ABOUT THAT BOLD STROKE THINGY I WOULD NEVER HAVE GUESSED IT WAS JUST ANOTHER NIKE RIP-OFF...WOW...BOLD STROKE INDEED)

-The cascade of six lines, three on each side symbolizes the five Faculties and one Institute offering a comprehensive range of courses and research.(CURRENTLY...THERE'RE ONLY 3 FACULTIES)

-The seventh line, the tail of the backbone stroke, represents the holistic aspect of education: character development, community-building and healthy living. Together, the holistic and the academic propel UTAR into a future filled with great promise and unlimited opportunities.(NO SHIT, GENIUS)

Man...even Tar college has it's own logo...which is quite sad really...Heck even my high school has a nicer logo...and everyone knows the Saints' logo kicks ass....heck...everything about the Saints kick ass...
Let's move on to the next agenda...Sports and Recreation!!! Some of you might be expecting me to mention stuff like indoor swimming pools...or basketball courts...or tennis courts...or heck...even a soccer field...or...to make our money's worth(RM30k for a course)...maybe a pool table... Well...you're wrong...cause what my faculty have is....

wah...

Picture too small?? I'll mention it then...
-Table-tennis
-Chinese chess
-International chess
-Carom
and the mother of all recreational activities...
-Hula Hoops........................Holy shit!!!...Hula Hoopsssssss....Man...who the hell plays with hula hoops?? god damn!

No mention about a swimming pool cause there's none...
Not a word about basketball or tennis courts cause there's...well...none...
And to think that you pay RM 30, 000 for a 3 year course and they only give you hula hoops to play with...dammit...hula hoops??? HULA HOOPS????!?!?!?!?!?!!??!?!!???!!??!
What the FU--

It's like I go to the office and :-
Me :- Hey UTAR...you got like anything to do around here??
Lady :- Yes...you can access the internet at our ultra modern computer labs
Me :- I mean like outdoor stuff...any balls we can play with?? ..........besides ours of course......
Lady :- No...but we got a couple of hula hoops for you...interested???
Me :- No, bitch...I'm not interested in your hula hoops!!!! WTF is a hula hoop anyway?? DAMN!!!!

But then....no matter how bad the uni may be, there's bound to be something good too...and that's the people in it...My newfound friends...Sure we may come from different parts of Malaysia but when we sit down together at a table in the canteen...it's like...I've known them for years...chit-chatting while eating...ermm...some kind of food(you see...paying 30k for a course, you'd expect a wide selection of food...but noooooooooooooooo...)
Oh...did I mention we have 10 computer labs...with 3 of them having PCs with internet access and...30 PCs in each lab...That brings the number of internet-accessable PCs to a grand total of WOW!!! I COULD HARDLY BELIEVE IT!!! 90!! Now that's "a lot" of PCs...considering it's the Faculty of Engineering and Science and internet-ready PCs are important to us for researches and stuff...or in my case...to access MSN...and also not to mention that the student population is roughly...I said ROUGHLY...2000...Yeah...only 2000...what did you expect?? It's a new uni and nobody has graduated from it yet...No...I'm serious...

So hor...I really hope no UTAR big shots read this entry...or I would have my ass kicked out of uni very soon...Even if I did get my ass kicked out of uni...let's hope that they start to realise their mistake...or in this case ignorance and start to pay more attention in improving the uni...I mean like dude..RM30k? That's like 10 times more expensive than a local government uni...I know I'm stupid for not getting to enter a government uni but that doesn't mean you can suck out 30k of our cash...Oh...and just in case you bigshots wanna know about your uni's reputation...here's an excerpt :-

Aunt1 :- Ah Boy...What uni you studying at now??
Me :- UTAR
Aunt1 :- Oh.................(long silence)................UTAR hor...

Aunt2 :- Ah Boy...What uni you studying at now??
Me :- ***Ultimate lie*** UM lohhhh
Aunt2 :- WAHHHHHHH....UM AH....YOU SO CLEVER!!!!

Man...you see the different reactions???
So to UTAR.......
buck up weyyyyyyyyy.....

P/S
and no...I still can't get over the fact that they offer hula hoops as a recreational activity...HULA HOOOOOOOOOOOOPS????????? ARGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Harry Potter is a load of shite...

2005-12-29T10:17:00.000-08:00

I finally convinced myself that the 4th Harry Potter movie couldn't be that bad since it had dragons(man...dragons rule) and many other funny looking creatures in it...Plus there's this hot French chick playing...ermm...damn...can't remember the name but....I'm sure you guys know who I'm talking about...and to heat things up even further...here's a little site with some clips of her in her earlier movies...oh...Did I mention she appears topless??

http://www.wwtdd.com/index.php?type=one&i=325

So I watched the show on DVD 9 today and...I couldn't be more wrong about the movie. Man, everything about the movie blows...including the French chick...cos she can blow my co-.....
No...there wasn't enough of her...and I think the only line she spoke in the whole movie was "Thanks for saving my sister"...Man...WTF??
And that moaning ghost thingy in the toilets...what's her name again? Moaning Matilda?? Moaning Moron?? Oh wait...nobody cares...Man I get pissed whenever I see her...It's like I wanna reach into the TV set and strangle her to death...oh wait...she's already dead...damn...

And the baddies...man...they're so bloody stupid...So you wanna kill Harry Potter right?? And...you got one of them bad guys to transform himself into that old-rotating-eyeball guy just to get next to him right?? So what do you do next?? Do you....

1) kill Harry Potter??
2) kill Harry Potter??
or...
3) kill Harry Potter??

No way...you become his Defense against the Dark Arts teacher, teach him some new magic spells, help him out in the Triwizard Tournament and get yourself thrown back to Araban jail...oh wait...Akaban jail...shit...
Anyways...this shows how stupid these kinda movies can get...I mean...all that guy had to do was to whip out a pocket knife and stab Harry in the armpits...Not only will he bleed to death, you will get yourself like a whole barrel-full of blood for the Dark Lord's revival and also save us the trouble of having to go through another 3 books only to find out that Harry finally defeats the baddie...Man...7 books just to know that the bad guy loses...that's crap...

And that Dark Lord fool...1 stroke of his wand and Harry's friend was dead...oh wait...it was that rat-guy who killed him innit? anyways...couldn't he do that to Harry while he was wand-less?? Sure...that'd be no honour in killing an unarmed person but who cares rite?? The most important thing is to kill while you can...But nooooo....Harry rearms himself and lo-behold...his dead...yeah..get this right...DEAD parents came to save the day...And Jesus Christ...Harry is saved again...for the fourth bloody time...

I've already stopped reading the Harry Potter books since book 4...because basically all the books are the same...Baddie wants to kill Harry but fails...and I swear I'll think twice before watching another Harry Potter movie...I've lost the magic that J.K.Rowling once put upon me in her first book...I've lost it right after the 4th book...The ending was so thrilling yet stupid..Baddie was about to kick Harry's ass and he gets saved...Furthermore...there seems to be no urgency at all at the fact that someone's trying to kill him...In the end...he takes the train back to Ron's house for the holidays...GREAT! If someone was trying to kick my ass I'd be living with some kick-ass wizards and witches for my own safety and not with some kids who don't know squat about magic...damn...

I'm going back to Tolkien's Lord of the Rings for the 8th time...No...it never gets old because every volume is so entertaining and everybody knows REAL wizards(who fight against Balrogs and Orcs) kick ass...

***going back to KL on Saturday so updates will be scarce and few...my apologies***

oh well...

2005-12-24T11:22:00.000-08:00

Man I can't stand Eminem anymore...That white nigga-wannabe has me punching myself in the ears everytime his songs are played over the radio or on television. I don't know...I think it's just me...I can't stand his chipmunk-like voice rapping and dissing and insulting almost everything that walks on two legs...Hey Em...Nobody cares...you get me??

When he first burst into the music scene it was like...culture shock to me man. Here's one guy who's like openly dissing and insulting his mom in his songs...Back then I was going through that rebellious part of my life...you know...the I'm-too-cool-for-school attitude...or...the I'm-from-planet-cool-and-my-parents-from-planet-lame...or the I'm-out-to-break-every-rule-because-I'm-a-rebel sorta stuff...I know...it sounds kinda lame now but damn I was so crazy back then...

Mom :- Go wash the car...
Me :- The maid can do it...
Mom :- Why can't you do it?
Me :- Cause washing cars make me look stupid...and I'll lose my coolness...plus...I'm a rebellion..you geddit?
Mom :- So you going to wash or not??
Me :- Not in a million years ,woman...
Mom :- ***mutters under breath*** stupid rebellious psychopaths...

Forward to 2005:-
Mom :- Go wash the car...
Me :- Yes Maam...

Simple as that...Anyways, back to Em...yeah...I worshipped him for his lyrics and his guts...Heck the guy even flames his wife and I was like "Man this guy kicks so much ass..."
But as the years go on and more albums are produced...I kinda got sick and tired of him. Sure...you diss your mom once and everyone was like "Way to fuck off the old lady, Em..."...you diss your mom again and everyone's like "Dude...your mom again??" and after 342394823 more dissings everyone's now like "We geddit already...you hate your mom...heck...WE hate your mom...fuck her...dude...like sing something original man"

So he goes to do something original by dissing Michael Jackson in his music video...I was like "What the fuck?"...Man, nobody cares bout that child-molesting creep...Yes...he was one big superstar back then but celebrities are weird anyways...Just look at how many of them are trying to revive their careers by filming themselves having sex and "accidentally"(you see...i use " " for accidentally) letting loose the video to the media...

Paris Hilton :- I'm so god-damned famous now because all you perverts have watched my video...Yes...I'm that cheap slut in the video...worship me!!! Now, that's cool!(her trademark phrase it seems...oh wait...nobody cares)

Britney Spears :- I'm as fat as a cow now and I'm trying to revive my dead career by doing a porno movie for you perverts out there...now hit me one more time baby...oh yeah...

Janet Jackson :- Oh damn...nobody listens to my records anymore...perhaps I should get Justin Timberlake to rip off my clothes and show my boobs to the whole world....

Michael Jackson :- I've been black before and now I'm white...I'm rich and I've got almost everything I want...Perhaps I should go molest some boy-kid for the fun of it...Watch out little boys...here I come (insert wicked witch laughter)...

R.Kelly :- Man..me nigga bored...me should fuck 16-year-old kid, record it and spread it on the internet....and that's cool yo...street credzzzz...

So...back to Eminem...I think I speak for everyone when I say "We're tired of your lame-ass songs and your child-like dissings...No...rap music is not alive...you've killed it Whitey...nobody likes your songs and nobody cares about your mom...or your wife...or Michael Jackson or as a matter of fact...you. In this festive season, may you not produce anymore ear-damaging records and may you once just sit in a table together with your family, shut up and try to have a nice dinner together..."

Merry Christmas all...
Man...celebrities suck...

drive safe?

2005-12-21T10:10:00.000-08:00

So I was out on the roads in my car, heading back towards home after a meal with my pals when just out of a sudden, I got myself involved in some illegal high-speed race thingy. 3 cars...a Proton Wira and 2 Perodua Kancils were racing with each other, going at very high speeds and weaving in and out of traffic. I could clearly see what they were doing through my rear-view mirror. Since it was a 2-laned stretch of road...did I :-

1) Slowed down and moved to the left, allowing them to pass?? NO!

2) Joined in the race by going at high speeds as well?? NO!

I just got my car alongside another car(let's refer to him as Slow-Mo shall we?) who was doing like 60kph and well...maintained that speed. So...there we were...Slow-Mo and me, occupying both lanes of the road while doing 60kph. Needless to say our racer-wannabes started tailgating me and flashing their headlights at me.

My friend, who was also in my car went, "Dude...just let them(the racers) pass man..."

"I will man...as soon as I overtake Slow-Mo...but I can't lar. Sign says the speed limit is 60."

"Oh ya...right! We're just obeying the law."

"Yeah man...we're not doing anything wrong. So just sit back and relax la."

So I turned up the volume of my CD player and we continued rocking out to Linkin Park.

Soon, Slow-Mo disappeared, turning off into another road and the 3 "racers" overtook me from the left...each, revving their engines as they passed me.

GREAT JOB SCHUMACHERS! It is indeed a big achievement to overtake someone who's doing 60kph! **clap clap**

And, surprise surprise(I wasn't actually...)...All 3 of them were youngsters...you know...spiky hairstyles, sun shades and that ever obvious "P" sticker on their cars. I will never understand why youngsters love to speed so much. I am not saying that all youngsters are speedsters. Heck, I used to be a little gung-ho myself. 5 accidents and RM4000 in damages paid later, I learnt my lesson and began driving like a law-abiding citizen. Friends would usually go "Man, what are you?? 60 years old?? You drive so slow for what?"...but I'd just turn a deaf ear to them.

It shouldn't take one to have to undergo several accidents before learning how to be a careful driver. It should start from the very moment they take hold of the steering wheel. Learn from those who set good examples. I learned a lot from my dad for he boasts of an accident-free driving career of 30 years. Can't blame him. The man takes 90 degree corners at 15kph. 15 measely kilos per hour!! Man!!

In conclusion, no...not every youngster is a careless, speeding driver and there are plenty of adults who speed just as well. However, we must know that speeding is just another tragedy waiting to happen. So what if you reach your place of appointment 10 minutes late? The main point is that you reached there in one piece. Safety first people. Drive safe. And always think of your loved ones.

P.S.
The speed limit for that stretch of road I was on was 60kph but who obeys the speed limit anyways?

i'm bored..

2005-12-16T15:43:00.000-08:00

It's 7.50 in the morning and it's raining slightly...I couldn't sleep...so I went through all my previous posts in here.
And that got me thinking :- "Have I gotten dumb over the past year?"
I noticed that my earlier posts were more entertaining than my current posts.
I used to update just about everyday but now...I couldn't even be bothered to update it weekly.
I got nothing to write...I got nothing to tell...I got nothing to express...
I've just become....plain dumb....This sucks...
Perhaps I should do what I used to do...tell about my daily happenings...
Ohhhh....kay...So..the 16th of December eh? Friday...Let's see...

Got up at 3pm as usual...the first thing on my mind was DotA(a very very addictive game)...no baths, no lunch, no brushing of teeth. Straight to DotA till 5pm before I went down for lunch. Got a call for "yum cha" with Lay Sin and Shin Lun so it was off to Subaidah at 9.30pm...again....and again...it's the 5th time in 3 weeks. Met up with Kok Wai, Rhyner, Heng Hwang, Andy and Win Li there. Seriously I think I've gotten dumb...I couldn't find anything to say to them. So I just did what I always do whenever I have nothing to say :- stuff myself with food...

1 "teh ais", 1 "limau ais", 1 garlic naan, 1 "roti malaysia" and 1 "mee rebus" later, we went our separate ways...Made a huge mistake while doing a 3-point-turn today. The place was so dark that I didn't notice a big-ass rock behind and I hit it quite hard. I was like "Holy crap...who the hell leaves a rock in the middle of nowhere??". Damn pissed...got down and checked my car...a few scratches and surprise surprise...there wasn't a dent there...Thank God...

While on my way home, I started thinking about the long holidays we had after the STPM examinations...those days before we entered uni...Those days were so carefree, so fun, so joyous, so stressfree...Now that we're in uni, everyone's occupied with minor things like their transport to uni, the food, the lodgings, the upcoming semester, their CGPA and basically everything else about studies. Gone were the days where we would just sit around a table and go "Eh bro...where to next?? And tomorrow how?? Movie?? Day after that how?? Seafood?? Eh...that chick damn chun wey"

I guess we've already passed on to another chapter of life...a stressful part that is and soon...we'll be working and have even less time for each other...and moreover...some will have their own families and will be busy for the most part of their lives. Time moves too fast. Time changes everyone. I'm scared, honestly. Well that's just life...just have to move on, no?

www.bash.org :- it's goooooooooooooood

2005-12-16T03:57:00.000-08:00

Everybody...you gotta visit this site ASAP:- www.bash.org
Some gems you might find there would be:-

Just in case you're wondering, a wang is an American slang for penis. Thanx Yap for the info. :)

Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced the word "wand" with "wang" in the first Harry Potter Book
Let's see the results...

"Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry.
"Oh, well -- I was at Hogwarts meself but I -- er -- got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wang in half an' everything

A magic wang... this was what Harry had been really looking forward to.

"Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry Potter." It wasn't a question. "You have your mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wang for charm work."
"Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wang. Eleven inches. "

Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls

"Oh, move over," Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry's wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, 'Alohomora!"

The troll couldn't feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry's wang had still been in his hand when he'd jumped - it had gone straight up one of the troll's nostrils.

He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll's nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.

He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them.

Ok
I have found, definitive proof
that J.K Rowling is a dirty DIRTY woman, making a fool of us all
"Yes," Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding.... Any second now, he might hear his mother again... but he shouldn't think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn't want to... or did he? O_______O
Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang

Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded the silvery substance with its tip.

'Get - off - me!' Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wang.

More
lol
I download something from Napster
And the same guy I downloaded it from starts downloading it from me when I'm done
I message him and say "What are you doing? I just got that from you"
"getting my song back fucker"

More
IronChef Foicite: well, there's a lot of reasons
IronChef Foicite: i mean, roses only last like a couple weeks
IronChef Foicite: and that's if you leave them in water
IronChef Foicite: and they really only exist to be pretty
IronChef Foicite: so that's like saying
IronChef Foicite: "my love for you is transitory and based solely on your appearance"
IronChef Foicite: but a potato!
IronChef Foicite: potatos last for fucking ever, man
IronChef Foicite: in fact, not only will they not rot, they actually grow shit even if you just leave them in the sack
IronChef Foicite: that part alone makes it a good symbol
IronChef Foicite: but there's more!
IronChef Foicite: there are so many ways to enjoy a potato! you can even make a battery with it!
IronChef Foicite: and that's like saying "i have many ways in which I show my love for you"
IronChef Foicite: and potatos may be ugly, but they're still awesome
IronChef Foicite: so that's like saying "it doesn't matter at all what you look like, I'll still love you"

More
<@Chin^> My sister caught me jacking off the other week and calls me a pervert
<@Chin^> just the other day i walked into my room and caught my sister masturbating
<@Chin^> So she calls me a pervert again?!?
<@Chin^> there is no justice in the world...

More

brad, your mom is fine as shit

i think i will masturbate to her while i play with my balls
brad had to go blow his nose, but thanks for the compliment, i will be calling your mother

Jesus-fucking christ!!!

Visit the site for more good stuff...

To the people at Friendster:- Go fuck yourselves

2005-12-16T03:47:00.000-08:00

Unfortunately, something went wrong with my friendster blog and now....only half of my entries are shown...As a result I'm moving back here...There are still a few posts that are readable there, so...

http://ilovepussies.blogs.friendster.com/my_blog/

will eventually move all my posts from there to.....here i guess..cheerio

i'm back!!! well...sort of...

2005-06-18T01:44:00.000-07:00

it's been like nearly 42342389 days since i updated my blog but there're still people visiting it...wakakaka...i'm honoured guys(suckers)...haha...seriously...i'm honoured....

reason for not blogging this long?? i just got into a local university(shit hole actually)...name of the university?? UTAR...argghh...lazy to type out the full name of the uni...yes...i ain't exactly proud of being in UTAR...but what the hey eh...UTAR is just my insurance policy...i'm hoping i can get a place in a local GOVERNMENT university so...pray with me everyone...plus...sure would like to wish all me f6 mates out there good luck...it's just this 22nd ain't it? man...ain't that fast?? now we're all like...*sniff sniff* drifting apart...ahhh...i'm just kidding...most of u guys will end up in KL anyways so...meet u guys at ampang la...we go yong tau fu...

about my life here in KL? man it blows...i mean it's like study...eat...sleep...study...eat...sleep...whatever happened to sunday drives??...and...ice cream parlours??...and...cinemas?? they don't have 1 at where i'm living...isn't that just sick?? by the way...did i mention how much i hate walking...i have to walk like 324943290 miles just to get to class and that's just not me...but what the hey...i can feel my pants loosening up a bit...no...serious...i think i've lost a couple of...inches..no..centi...no..milimetres of the waist...ain't that great?? i have like freaking 3 years to go here...by the time i get my degree i'll be a waist-size 34...cool...

unfortunately my disability to speak chinese(i'm proud of it actually) has proven to be a challenge for me...i mean like...i'm always stumped whenever i wanna order food...i'll be like "chicken rice(while pointing to the white chicken)...that 1...that 1..."...i can't even say "add more rice" in chinese...it's so freaking frustrating...even in class..everyone will be blabbering away in chinese(like i give a fuck what they're talking about) and i'll be like "woooo...isn't the weather nice today?" and did i mention that only 5.231% of the total population of utar can speak perfect english?? ***shakes head***

right...forgot to mention bout the food...the food here fucking stinks...i mean it's alright if u hav a meal here once or twice a week but i'm eating at the same place every freaking day...it's driving me nuts...no more KFC...no more Mc'D...no more Pizza Hut...just plain rubbish 24/7...life sux...

I'm good at art and you know it...

2005-04-26T04:54:00.000-07:00

I was surfing the internet when I found a few pictures which really deserve a special mention...
I couldn't help but make fun of the pictures...
Please don't start telling me that I'm mean or bad(you pussies..)...
I'm just having fun...

So who's the crack now eh???
When I first saw this picture I was like "why the fuck you showing the Nazi salute in front of the chick?"
I was pissed because wise guy here had actually blocked out any chance of viewing the chick's jugs..good move man...now why don't you bugger off??.
Plus the guy looked like he was on crack...**sniffffffff**...fucking cocaine smoker...
If I were there I would had sucker punched the guy in the throat and run away with the girl...
And if the girl starts to scream for help, I'll superkick her mouth right off her face...
So what more can I do than to lend him a favour by directing the word "crack" towards himself...
Now the picture looks perfect because he's now showing us what he REALLY is....THE CRACK...'nuff said...

I actually pissed in my pants when I first saw this picture...
I did the world a favour by blacking out her tits because truth be told...she has 1 of the most(if not...most) ugliest tits I've ever seen....
I mean...Jesus...my neighbour's dog has better looking tits than her...and the mutt has 6 of them!!
I'm serious...check out the guy on the right...
He looks like he's gonna barf out the night's tom-yam bihun on the girl(run bitch...run...)
Plus she was looking at the camera with such intensity that I thought she was going to crawl out of my PC screen(like a certain ghost that crawls out of TV sets....go figure...)...
Notice the red eyes??? Now that's scary shiat...

The red eye effect on the girl on the right is soooooooo bad that she actually looked like she had laser vision....
I belive this photo was taken 5 minutes before that girl actually drank that piss-look-alike drink they call wine and zapped the 2 faggots with her laser vision...**zapppp zapppppppppppppp**
To the girl in the centre:- Nice titties....

This is nothing but the work of the devil himself...
Who in their freaking minds would actually shake their ass in front of a chick's face??
It just doesn't make sense...
So the chick is interested to have a dance with you...
You don't turn around and shake your booty(I feel sick...) in her face while looking like you're gonna shit out last Thursday's dinner(way to go asshole...)
I can only imagine the look on the chick's face if he actually DID shit out last Thursday's dinner...
It will be the classic "oh my god...you shatted on me you fat fuck" look...
What about the girl??
Good thinking genius..you picked out someone with a damned constipated look on his face....
Why not shove your face in between his ass while you're at it??

Being flamed is fun(Part 7)

2005-04-23T02:57:00.000-07:00

I suggest you read Parts 1-6 before reading the below...

Our friend got side tracked for a moment and started to lecture me on what a REAL reunion is...

a reunion...well well...wat might it be?....it can be anything to
anyone....but to me,...a reunion would be meaningful if it's held
every five or ten years from the day we left school.....yearly
mayb....but so soon?....to me, the one that will go on tml is more of
a farewell to most!...quite frankly...why must it be done so
soon?...cos lots are leaving for colleges rite?...

a reunion should be something that unite all that's associated with us
before; friends, classmates, or childhood friend....not anybody!...it
should be more of a dinner or something that truly hold everybody down
and have a great time talking to each other reflecting on wat has been
goin on since the last time they met....going wild and chilling out
with some counterparts? = outing / party????

for a reunion, it takes a lot of time and hardwork to make it! but for
a party?...come on, just a few phone calls and that's it!...meet, have
some drinks and shake your body with those booty!!!...

wat's a reunion?...think about it!!!!

to which i replied...

I'm sorry mate...did you say 5 to 10 years??
I just don't get it man...why wouldn't you want to attend this event
while everyone is still here??
I mean in 5 years time...we would all be at different parts of the
world...some might even had met with untimely ends(not mentioning
anyone...)

So what will a reunion be when there'll be no one left to attend??
Maybe you enjoy having reunions by yourself don't you?
I mean...eat by yourself, drink by yourself, sing by yourself,
talking cock by yourself??
Is that what you like?? Why do you not look forward towards any
uncertain circumstances that MIGHT happen??

While we are all still here, healthy and not studying yet, I guess it
IS the RIGHT time to have a reunion...And didn't you just flame me
the other night when I mentioned that the reunion was an oppurtunity
to talk about ourselves...and now here you just mentioned about
talking at a reunion...I just don't get you man...

A reunion...a farewell...both would take just about the same amount
of micromanagement...What are you trying to imply?? They're
different?? In what sense?? Maybe you think too highly of
yourself...Maybe you don't want us to invite you to a reunion by
phone...Perhaps you're expecting a chauffer-driven limousine at your
doorstep to take you to the reunion?? I'm sorry man...but our
hierarchy in society is totally different...While you think of
yourself as a high and mighty god that must only attend reunions if
you're only invited with a letter written in 24 carat gold ink...I
hold myself lucky to even be invited at all...

Think about it properly and get back to me son...I'll be waiting...

-HH-
=don't send me hate mail...just kiss my arse=

Is this fun or what?? hahahaha...

Being flamed is fun(Part 6)

2005-04-23T02:53:00.000-07:00

I suggest you read Parts 1-5 before reading the below...

Another of Yee Junn's replies on the same day...

hahahaha......i guess somebody just have some trouble with his
zippers!!!....anyway....ur view of me or whoever now is not my
priority....and why should i care?....how am i or who am i...i like
myself....

and er...excuse me...did i say HOCK HIN is two-faced?....er...or HOCK
HIN is running around with his pants down and mouth wide open?...i
guess somebody just told everyone his pants is down and er....mouth
wide open?....

small boy i am....but keep on provoking me man...u have miles to
go....as much as u wanna talk....i guess i will seriously put a hold
to this....sorry but immaturity is all in u!...provoking?...saying ur
friends that are leaved lower six monkeys and clowns?...why not
telling them on that day itself?......hahaha.....trying to spice up ur
life?...haha...trying to provoke me badly won't just do!...will it
hurt?...if so, do i care?...i think i have to close both eyes now!...i
enjoy reading all this beautiful mails....but i guess i don't wanna
see disgusting worm out of someone's pants!!!

indeed i enjoy ur mail...fascinating!!!....truly splendid....but i
guess u don't enjoy mine...it's from a small boy....wat do ya
expect?...hahaha....so enjoy ur day....kiddo!!!

to which i replied...

Well what can I say...so typical of a small boy...he tells me a
phrase and now he wants to talk to me about zippers...You didn't
mentioned I was two-faced or anything but it doesn't takes a rocket
scienctist to figure that out son...

So stop telling me you didn't mention me in your messages...Are you
trying to hide behind your words?? And you call me immature?? Are you
sure?? I don't hide behind my words...I tell it out truthfully...
Fact of the matter...nobody gives a damn if my pants are down or
not?? Why are you getting so excited about it?? Haven't you seen dick
before??

Ahh...I'm afraid you're mistaken again my friend...Provoking you?? Am
I?? I consider this as a friendly discussion...but if you think of
this as a provocation on your part...well...what can I say?? Grow
up...don't lose your cool because of a few words...Come on...Handle
this as calmly as an adult would...No use telling me worms are coming
out of my pants...You know it's not true...No need for immature
flamings...

And so what if I have worms coming out of my pants?? Does it concern
you in any way?? Hey if you're interested I can pass some for you if
you want...I mean...You look so damn interested in these little
creatures...

Ahhh..but I DO enjoy mail from little kiddies...cause it is just pure
FUN to see them answer in their immature ways...It just makes me feel
all grown up...Although I admit I am not the most mature of men, at
least I know there are some out there who are even worse...who's
that?? go figure...

P.S. Awww..don't stop the flaming son...It's just starting to get
really interesting...

-HH-
=don't send me hate mail...just kiss my arse=

Being flamed is fun(Part 5)

2005-04-23T02:50:00.000-07:00

I suggest you read parts 1-4 before reading the below...

Well...A new day and somemore new flamings....The below is Yee Junn's reply...

woohoohoo.....wow!...it's getting hot in here...for the first
time!!...yeah!!!!....i wonder why people act differently from
appearance and online.....if only, if only all can be who they are
for once!...but i doubt anyone know who they really are....

provocation, back-stabbing,....wat can i say?...true
colours??....hahaha....who cares?...all is out
now!!...great!!...yea....hock hin have the right to say watever he
wans.....no one is stopping him!!....and who are we to teach and
tell huh?....lets leave that for his you-know-who!...it seems that a
lot of vulgar words are coming out!!...and ahem...shouldn't the ones
in charge do something???...responsibility failed?...lets just
see!....

as hock hin points out his point of view and faeces, we are also
just doin the same thing....so pls don't be provoked!...just an
opinion....nothing to argue about huh?....on eveyrone's individual
life, i guess...how big a group of each's friends is for themselves
to know...who r u to say whether we have problems with
ourselves?....look into the mirror first dude!

before things went too far....lets just stop all this nonsence!...we
shouldn't be going too far away from wat we should say!....if people
like to be disrespectful, sarcastic, phatetic, goody good boy,
anything...just leave it that way....cos we are afetrall, who we
are!....so fot the better, keep words to urself and go our own
way...no point running around with the pants down and mouth wide
open!!!

to which i replied....

Hahaha...Naw man naw...you're mistaken...you're so bloody mistaken...
I don't act differently from appearance and when I'm online...
I'm exactly the same...What?? Did you think I was at good terms with
you throughout Form6?? You must be kidding...I hated you and your
guts since the 1st day I knew you...

Yeah...well...we were classmates then and well...I had to behave
myself so that there won't be a fiasco in class...but now since we're
finally FORMER classmates...I can be open about anyone and
anything...If you've got a problem and you think I'm just a big
mouthed trash talker behind the PC screen...hook me up at the reunion
man...you'll know the real me...

Most unfortunate that I had to use vulgar words because Choo Woei
Chea had upped the level of discussion from a friendly one to a
hostile 1 when he mentioned my mom...Yeah...It's his right to mention
my mom but it's also my right to shove a load of crap down HIS and
probably YOUR throat...

Well if you think you have enough friends then never call the reunion
a large gathering of small groups...your way of thinking just denotes
how little friends you have...I know...it's your problem...not
mine...But I'll have to face the facts that you have NO
friends...ermm...get a life maybe??

I don't see anything wrong with running around with my pants down and
my mouth wide open...you got a problem with that son?? You wanna suck
my dick?? If not than just shut it fool...and again...it's my RIGHT
to say what I want...Don't tell me to keep my words to myself...If
you're not interested in reading...than don't read it...

And since you're replying every reply that I had typed out...it IS
kinda obvious that you enjoy reading this...so never tell me to keep
my words to myself if you enjoy listening to it...

P.S. I waited the whole day and all I get is this?? Grow up little
boy...Looking forward to your next reply...IF you have the guts to
reply...

-HH-
=don't send me hate mail...just kiss my arse=

Being flamed is fun(Part 4)

2005-04-22T19:33:00.000-07:00

I suggest you read Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3 before reading the below...

And lo! behold...I got a reply from the freaking class nerd himself, Choo Woei Chea...

i do agree with yee junn for ones cause it isn`t fair to push ppl
to attend the farewell just for the sake of reporting ourself.what
difference does it make as to report ourself to court.Its like as
though we`re criminals or something like tat trying to confess our
sins to another person having higher authority.isnt it better if we
write a complete report bout our daily routines and post it to Mr
Right GUY(u know who u r).Tat would be a much better and accurate
way ,right since HE wants us to update ourself ma.Ppl may have more
important reasons as not to attend the farewell.It just doesnt click
properly into that PERSON thaughts WHY we couldnt attend the
farewell.HE assume tat we done it in purpose.
High spirit or not is for u to determine and to control.U just
dont feel high spirit at one second and low spirit at another
second .Tat is totally bullshit.IF U TELL URSELF TAT UR HAPPY THAN U
WILL FEEL HAPPY AND NOT CAUSE PPL`s ACTIONS DOESNT SUITS U ,U FEEL
UNHAPPY,understand,duh.
Next ,i feel rather unfair cause u classified ppl fr other
streams as monkeys and clowns.Hey,look at urself first,if ppl is
monkeys and clowns than wat makes u-A DONKEY AND ELEPHANTS.Ppl have
feelings also.Just because they never voice up doesnt mean tat they
agree completely with ur words.Think bout it if ppl throw tat
harshful words at u ,WHAT WILL U FEEL????-words is sharper than
knives ,REMEMBER.
My advice is U should sit down and think over the sins u have
committed today and hope for a betterment of tomorrow.U should also
thank me a lot for waking u up from ur evil behaviour than adding ur
sins which will lead u nowhere but to HELL....so kiss ur arse first
and think it over before asking ppl to kiss ur arse.It`s rather rude
to ask ppl to kiss ur arse-HAVEN UR MUM EVER TEACH U Manners.

to which I replied...

Shut the fuck up...You had gone too far by bringing my mom into the
picture...fucking dickhead...who should do the thinking now??
If you have anything to say to me...just tell it straight...no need
to involve moms...

A reunion is nothing like a court summon...For one, yes..you go to
court because you've committed a crime...It is a MUST to go...I never
mentioned that it is a MUST to go to the reunion...but at the very
least...VERY least...show up...even if you're not gonna be sitting
around for dinner or singing...at least show up...

In fact I don't give a fuck bout what you're doing...There might be a
few people who actually care about you...but I don't...seriously...I
never gave a fuck bout you since the 1st day we met...And before you
start to lecture me about my language, I've already said it in my
previous message...I can bloody hell say what I want whenever I want
and where I want...If you got a problem, don't bother reading...

Oh no...you don't say?? You wanna talk to me about spirits?? I'll
give you a situation...So you got yourself a puppy dog...happy...or
not?? I'm sure you are...and the very next day I killed it...are you
still happy?? That's how people's spirit changes fool...We are all
affected by what's going on around us...1 day my spirits were up
because there would be a reunion and the next day it was down because
it had failed...simple as that...

Again...I have the right to say whatever I want...You can't stop me
fuck face...and if any of them from the other stream took my words to
heart...it's just too bad...Maybe I wasn't talking about them but if
they want to consider themselves as monkeys and clowns...BE MY
GUEST...remember...I don't care...

And it's true...you do have the right to call me an elephant or a
donkey...call for all you want...it's your right...go ahead...call me
fat...call me a fuck face...words might be sharper than knives but
I've been called worse than an elephant or a donkey...If you have any
frustration and you wanna call me names but you can't...do it
now...here's your chance...don't lose it...

Why should I be thanking you for waking me up?? Even if I do go to
hell I'll drag you down with me...remember...let's say it once
again...IT'S MY FUCKING RIGHT...and you can't stop me...the kissing
arse thingy was a parting shot or a motto if you would wanna put
it...Yes...you have the RIGHT to point out about my motto...but as my
motto states...Choo Woei Chea...kiss my arse...

P.S. again...it's your right to choose whether you wanna kiss it or
not...but I'd bet you'd love to...fucking arse kisser...fuck off...

Is that the best you small boys could do...I'm just warming up...

-HH-
=don't send me hate mail...just kiss my arse=

I'm still waiting for today's flaming..I don't know what's taking them little boys so long...Watch out for more...This definitely ain't the end yet....

Being flamed is fun(Part 3)

2005-04-22T19:27:00.000-07:00

I suggest you read Part 1 and Part 2 before reading the below...

Now here comes the fun stuff...It's all good shiat...
My next reply came from Yeoh Yee Junn(Yes..I'm mentioning names now...bite me...)

wow~!...wat a big voice....but i guess it's just another act of
disrespect!...well i agree that it MIGHT not be a yearly thing and
yeah, it's sad that so many is not going.....but being there to
update bout ourselves???be real man!!!is that what's it's all
about?....or just simply having fun there???

and seriously, though it's a science stream REUNION, how many people
from other classes that we truly know and concerned of?...so is it a
true reunion or just another large gathering of small groups that
will chit chat among themselves, savaging the food and beverage and
enduring the voices of the singers?(truth or myth??)

and a reunion is it?....with an expectation of less than half the
class going, is there a reason to attend this "reunion"?...great
news that it's just around 7 to 8 people going!!!it just proves how
right the non-goers are!!!

with already a lack of attendance, the organisers open up the
reunion which is rather a forced move! and i think they need to do
so!if not, the whole thing won't go on as a "reunion" but a
relatively small gathering!as for the non science stream goers, i
guess they just wanna meet up with their friends and have fun!wat
justice did they get by being called animals and clowns?for a non
science stream to read it, it would be sickening for them to be even
there!it just show how much dignity they took away from themselves
to attend it!...wat harm can it make to an already failed
reunion?...though it's wrong, but wat harm?...

an attendant or not, we all wish that the organisers taste success
in it!they took up hell of an initiative to start it and work it
out!...but i guess, a reunion is not as easily said as done!

and if anyone is too free and pissed off with somethingelse, it's
never wise to release the temper on other people/places!and it's
just not right for people that are busy to F*** themselves as they
dun have the time, right?...so i guess, only the ones that are too
free and have nth to do that can have a feel of themselves!!!!

!!!kaeps u erofeb kniht<<<

to which i replied...

True..what you said is true...I have disrespect...I have utter
disrespect for the scum who won't be showing up...So fine...maybe we
don't have to update ourselves there...it could be anything...fun or
whatever...but what did you expect from a reunion anyways?? A sex
orgy?? Huh?? What were you looking forward to when they mentioned
reunion?? Share with us...

YOU might not know people from other classes cause that's just your
problem...It's just typical of your attitude ain't it?? You wouldn't
give a damn bout other people would you?? Please do not tell me about
small groups chit chatting over dinner...Obviously you don't have
enough friends ain't it? You MIGHT wanna reevaluate yourself and
figure out why you're always stuck in small groups and not with the
whole Science stream community...same goes to all the people who
think the reunion's just another large gathering of small groups...

I am very sure that the organisers did not enjoy organizing the
reunion as much as I am typing this...I'm sure they'd rather save up
their money,time and energy, and hang out with their own
friends...But I believe that they had organize this reunion in good
intentions hoping...i repeat...HOPING that there'll be a great turn-
out...Unfortunately their hopes were dashed when people all around
decided to ditch the reunion...

And you call the non-goers right...Obviously you are not going
yourself isn't it?? I believe Kok Meng was right when he mentioned
influence...Maybe if you had decided to turn up, all those that hang
around you most of the time MIGHT consider it and all those that hang
around them also MIGHT consider it...It's the 6 degrees of separation
my friend...It's always "you go, i go...you don't go,i don't
go"...You may not be THAT certain influential figure and neither am
I...but whoever it is,he/she still deserves a slap across the face...

When I mentioned animals and clowns I mentioned SOME...I don't hate
all non-science stream students but there are still SOME that I
hate...These people had to go because our own SCIENCE stream students
had failed us...It took some dignity out of the organisers as well to
call them up and to tell them that this was actually a FAILED SCIENCE
stream reunion and we;re only inviting you because our OWN SCIENCE
stream students ditched the reunion...

But hey it's not MY reunion or anything...Though I do not have the
power or right to stop unwanted people from coming, I still DO have
the freedom of speech to let go of my frustration whenever and
wherever I like...Whether you choose to read it or not...I don't
care...
And I can bloody hell say what I want about anybody...whether they're
f**king themselves or not...I didn't mention names so I do not think
that I had violated anyone...

If you had taken my words to heart...that's your problem...
Keep the "tembak-ing" coming boy...I'm just getting started...

-HH-
=don't write me hate mail...just kiss my arse=

Just in case you're wondering...the gibberish below his message is "think before u speak" written backwards....Grow up you dumbfuck...

Being flamed is fun(Part 2)

2005-04-22T19:23:00.000-07:00

I suggest you read PART 1 of this trilogy before reading the below...

The first to reply to my message was Kok Meng....
No flamable material in the message...I salute you for being patient with me man...
The below is the message...

The one thing we must realise is that we do not have a female class
representative that is able to influence the female half of our
class. If only we have one influential girl going, maybe then there
will be more attending this reunion. From what I heard only 2 girls
are going for the reunion, which is a very small number in our
female predominant class. It all comes down to the management and
organisation of the farewell committee that could have done better
if they were given more time. So there are no one to blame in this
case, really, because in such a short time frame, I don't think
anyone can come up with a flawless plan. For now, I think its good
enough given the fact that the committee are working so hard to make
it happen. Its really all about the spirit, not who's going or not.

K M Teoh

to which my reply was...

I beg to differ...I do not see anything wrong with the management of
the reunion as the date was clearly stated a week or more before the
real thing...I admit that there were a few obstacles along the way but
1 week is more than enough time...we had our class farewell last year
and it was all arranged in a week..remember?? And it still went
great... I don't think the time factor can be counted in...

As for the female influential figure...I admit that this is quite
true...but truthfully...who do you think our class's influential girl
is?? Whoever she is, she surely deserves a slap across the
face...Because of her alone, no other girl is going?? And will the rest
stuff themselves with crap if that influential figure is doing the
same?? well...i guess so...who knows...

Truth be told the spirit will definitely be affected by who's going or
not...My spirits were high when I heard about the reunion but now it is
at an ultimate low since I heard that Arts and former students will be
attending........some reunion...

But then...a man's meat is another man's poison...we all have different
opinions...hahahaha...and this discussion is too fun cause I get to
diss people whom I've never had the courage to do before...looking
forward to the "tembak-ing" or opinions from you and the other
guys...damn..this is fun....

-HH-
=don't send me hate mail...just kiss my arse=

Being flamed is fun(PART 1)

2005-04-22T19:18:00.000-07:00

Recently, I posted a message about the reunion on my class's website...
The very next day, I was flamed by some people(I will not mention who...you'll know soon enough)...
It was so much fun reading their messages which were all dissing me...
It was also too damn fun to flame these people back as I had never had the courage to do so before..
Damn...Flaming is so much fun that I might just quit clubbing and stay in front of the PC day and night, waiting to be flamed by them...
The below is the message that I first posted...

MSN is down again...dammit...
Heard from Thern that only bout 7-8 people from our class will be
going to the reunion on Saturday night...that's sad..
I do not deserve the right to complain but as a fellow classmate..i'm
utterly disappointed...

Fine..some might had plans prepared earlier or had to work(who works
at 7pm on a Saturday?) or might be accompanying their family or some
just simply don't wanna show up...

This is not even a yearly event and some(or most) of you out there(i
won't mention names) can't even show up just to update us about
yourselves...if you think you're too good to even attend a
reunion...go f**k yourselves...and you call yourselves former
students of U6Sc3...I'm disgusted at your attitude...

Secondly...since this is a SCIENCE...i repeat S-C-I-E-N-C-E stream
reunion I wasn't exactly expecting the whole circus troupe of SXI to
attend...Last that I know of, even ARTS..yeah ARTS stream students
are attending and even FORMER Xaverians will be attending...

I ain't exactly celebrating this sudden turn of events for I do not
wish to see the monkeys and clowns(still not mentioning names) that
might be attending...I had thought it would be a gathering of good
friends where we will be having dinner and converse about our daily
happenings...Most MOST unfortunate that the zoo and its inhabitants
will also be there...f**king crap...and they're there just to make up
the numbers...because some of you are too freaking good to attend...

Fine...I'm in a bad mood now...blame it on the 3 nights of bak kut
teh and the closure of MSN...dammit

-HH-
=don't send me hate mail...just kiss my arse=

Of course my friends would know who exactly I mean when I mentioned clowns and animals...If you don't you can still ask...If you're afraid that it might be you....don't worry...I'm 110% sure these freaks won't be anywhere near my blog...

gimme more...

2005-04-21T02:51:00.000-07:00

Tonight marks the 3rd night in a row that I had "Bak Kut Teh"(BKT) for dinner...
Sometimes...it's just funny how fate puts you into various positions...isn't it??
I mean..some time last week I was wishing that I could have BKT but no matter how much I prayed...plans changed and the week passed by with no BKT at all...
And now?? I've already had BKT for the first 3 days of the week...

We(Thern,Yan,Z,me) had planned for BKT on Tuesday for quite some time...
But to my surprise, mom decided to whip her own home cooked BKT on Monday...
And as for today(Wednesday)...we(Rene,Derek,me) were wondering what to have for dinner when suddenly the idea of BKT popped into our heads...
So there you go...3 nights straight of BKT...
My mouth now smells of a mix of garlic and medicinal herbal soup..
My stomach now feels like it's gonna blow from the overload of pig meat and pig internal organs...
My ass now has to work overtime to pump all that food out....
And I'm just getting started...
Gimme BKT for the rest of the week...I'm game...are you?? hehe...

Speaking about fate putting you in various positions, I just got info that I might...MIGHT be doing a Bachelor's Degree of Chemistry course or something like that at UTAR...
Isn't it ironic??
I mean....I fucking hate Chemistry...
I've never passed Chemistry during the whole time that I was studying it(4th Form to Upper6)...
That's 4 years now if you're still counting...
I get so bored whenever I read about "atoms" and "elements" that I find lizards fighting on the ceiling much more interesting...
The various calculations in Chemistry would have put me off so much that I had to slap myself silly in order to stay up and concentrate...

On the other hand I had always been interested in Biology....
I had always found Bio superbly easy to understand...
Especially the part on human sexual organs(no marks in guessing where I FIRST learned that)...hehe...
Most unfortunate that my application for Biotech was not accepted....
Don't you think it's weird??
I'm being offered a course about the subject that I hate....
Talk about fate huh?

So will I take it up?? Perhaps...
I'll just consider this as another obstacle....
There was this show(The Contender) and in the interview, 1 of the participants shared with the audience a saying which his late grandfather had taught him...
"Life is full of obstacles...We can choose to go over it or around it...But I'd rather go through it"
Yeah..I know...I watch too much TV...

Speaking of grandfathers...I would like to offer my deepest condolences to Teoh Hong Wooi and his family on the recent departure of his grandfather....
Be strong my friend...
Your grandpa lived a full life...
He would definitely love to see you achieve in your life...
Do your grandpa proud man...

The neighbourhood in a nutshell...

2005-04-17T20:19:00.000-07:00

I was watching this rally programme a few hours ago when I was rudely interupted by the barkings of this mad dog owned by the people living directly in front of my house...
I love car shows a lot but all I could hear then was...."Citroen being world champions are..*bark bark*...Subaru fighting back...*bark bark*...Peugeot looking good *BARK BARK!!!!*"
I was so damn freaking pissed that I was just minutes away from walking over to the dog and shoving the Astro remote control up it's arse...dumb mutt...
During the commercial break, I started thinking about the shitty neighbours that I have...
North..South...East...West...My house is surrounded by the most cock-up neighbours in the world...

Up North we have the crazy whacko dog who just can't stop barking...I tried feeding it chicken bones boiled in rat poison but the freaking thing is still alive and is still barking non-stop(fiction)...
Did I mention how much I hate dogs?? I used to love dogs a lot..come on la...man's best friend right?? That's horse shit...I nearly got bitten in the balls by some cracked dog at my aunty's house...Must be some female mutt trying to sniff out my love nuts but woah doggie...I only do humans aight??

Next door to the house in the North is the illegal gambling den...Every Saturday night there'll be a gathering of middle-aged aunties all playing mahjong in the house...
Now what annoys me is the noise they make from the shuffling of tiles...
What annoys me more is their scary-ass laughter...which goes a little like "HEEE HEEE HEEEE"...
I swear...1 fine day I'll be calling up the SWAT team whom I hope will storm into the house in the middle of their game of mahjong, tie them up, stuff their mouths and throw all of them old asses into prison...Damn...Didn't your mama ever tell you not to gamble??

The house in the South is just as full of shit....
In this Lunar Chinese Year of the Rooster...they had resorted to rearing 2 cocks(roosters lar you pervert) in hope to bring more luck for the year...
haha...god damn...they do have a wild imagination...2 cocks crowing at untimely hours will bring good luck??
haha...that's just FUCKING BULLSHIT!!!
I'll tell yall lar...these roosters must be on some stimulant drug or something because they'll be crowing at 6am(it's understood)....4pm(What the fuck??) and 8pm(God damn!)...
Yeah..I know it's weird...Most of the time I'll be jolted up from my 4pm siesta by these cocks....
Or maybe it's just lack of sex lar...I mean...they're rearing 2 roosters and no hens?? Gay activities, man...dirty psychotic birds....they just might end up humping those stray cats...sick...

Then we have the neighbour on the West...the musician wannabe....
Every night about 9pm...there'll be piano music being played and it could be heard clearly over at my place...
The music is good....serious..no shit...the fella's got talent....
At times there'll be beautiful music coming out from that house...
And at times...there'll be hell....because the person playing the piano(whoever it is) is a mental psychotic nut...
Whenever he/she plays a note wrong he/she would show his/her frustration by banging on the piano keys itself...
So it's like **nice music**...**wrong note**...**BANG BING BANG**...**nice music**...**ting...wrong note**...**PRANG PONG PRANG**...**nice music**...*tong..wrong note**...**PRANG PONG BING BANG**
Everytime this happens I'll have the urge to walk over there and give him/her a 5-fingers-across-the-face slap...

Now to the neighbour on the East....Our friend here has a small lawn in his house...and once a week...he'll be bringing out his lawn mower to mow the lawn...
So it's like I'm having my nap at 3pm and suddenly **GRARRRRRR NGEEEEE GRARRRRRRRRR**...
Arrgghhh...Stupidity...I would have snatched the lawn mower from him and mow down his nuts if not for him being an elderly man...
I respect the elders...trust me...I do...
For now..I'm formulating a plan...I'm planning to dig my way under his lawn to plant a World WarII mine in his lawn...
So that when he starts mowing....not only will his small patch of lawn be blown up..so will the noisy crap you call a lawn mower...

Finally...another neighbour living at the North East of my house...
Our friend here is a R/C car fanatic(R/C = remote control)....
Unfortunately his R/C cars are not the ones that run on batteries but are the ones that run on gas and have proper working engines...
These engines make so much noise that anyone living within a 450 metre radius of that house will be pissed like hell...And I'm just living 5 metres away from him....
Every Sunday at 5pm he would be playing around with his R/C cars....
**WRENGGG WRENGGG...NGEEEE...WRENG WRENGGGG**
Sometimes I would be tempted to get into my own car,chase down the R/C car and run over it over and over again...
Dude...I got a REAL car....BITE ME!!!

That's pretty much how annoying my neighbours are...They ain't fun...They say "Love thy neighbour"..but I won't be doing any loving soon....
If in any case my neighbours are reading this, or anyone else who have a problem with my ranting, or anyone who have issues against me...don't write me hate mail....just....

---KISS MY ASS!!!---

I LOVE GEORGETOWN!!!

2005-04-17T05:33:00.000-07:00

****For those who are easily offended by profanities,sexual and racial issues...I seriously SERIOUSLY recommend that you do not read this post....trust me......I'm not kidding.....****

I don't know if any of you guys had read the article in the papers or the Star's website yet...but it happened to be that my buddy(Thanx TT) had passed me the link...
So I decided to post the article up and diss as much as I can about it...

Don: Rename George Town

PENANG: A National Literary Laureate has called for George Town to be renamed Tanjung or Tanjung Penegri.

Universiti Sains Malaysia (USM) School of Humanities lecturer Prof Dr Muhammad Hj Salleh said it was timely to rename the city as the locals hardly used the word “George Town” in their daily conversation.

“The city was widely referred to as Tanjung Penegri by the older generation. So it will be fitting to rename it Tanjung or Tanjung Penegri,” he said yesterday.

He was commenting on a call by Seberang Jaya state assemblyman Ariff Shah Omar Shah on Wednesday to rename George Town “Bandar Datuk Abdullah Fahim” to rid the city of its colonial past.

Dr Muhammad said, however, that any renaming exercise should be done properly, adding that USM was willing to conduct studies to find a suitable name.

“Calls for a name change were made several times in the last few decades. Even the local council had called for a change. But nothing had materialised,” he said.

Dr Muhammad said an in-depth study should also be carried out to support proposals to change the name of Gurney Drive to Tan Sri Wong Pow Nee Drive and Macalister Road to Jalan Arumugampillai.

“It must be done to reflect the plural society and honour patriots and freedom fighters,” he said.

Historian Prof Abu Talib Ahmad said George Town was only used in government documents and by students for geography or history.

I'll be doing a step by step dissing exercise...so bear with me aight??

Universiti Sains Malaysia (USM) School of Humanities lecturer Prof Dr Muhammad Hj Salleh said it was timely to rename the city as the locals hardly used the word “George Town” in their daily conversation.

Can somebody please tell me who in the hell is Prof Dr Muhammad Hj Salleh and what gave him the right to even think about changing the city's name of "George Town"?? And what does he mean when he mentioned "the locals hardly used the word 'George Town'"? I use the word "George Town"...my friends use it...and so does a million other Penangites you fool....I hope you do not assume that you know the locals very well just because you're a professor of some shitty university(Yes...I hate USM...bite me...)...Daily conversations?? Man..come on...I dare you to converse with me...I'll shove so much shit down your throat that you'll be on your knees begging me to stop...Yeah I'd stop...and shove another full load of shit down your mama's throat...

“The city was widely referred to as Tanjung Penegri by the older generation. So it will be fitting to rename it Tanjung or Tanjung Penegri,” he said yesterday.

No nobody has ever heard about the name Tanjung Penegri you Malay son of a bitch...Damn man...you've gotta move with the times...We don't want no stinking old generation name for our city....Besides Tanjung Penegri sounds like some shit hole where prostitutes hang out....Might as well name the city "Bandar Pelacur Banyak" innit??

He was commenting on a call by Seberang Jaya state assemblyman Ariff Shah Omar Shah on Wednesday to rename George Town “Bandar Datuk Abdullah Fahim” to rid the city of its colonial past.

Ariff Shah Omar Shah?? State assemblyman?? Damn man...You're just as full of bullshit as the USM professor...It IS the city's colonial past that are attracting the tourists you god damned fool...Think..Fort Cornwallis....Go back to Seberang Jaya or wherever you're from and never meddle with our affairs you bastard...And "Bandar Datuk Abdullah Fahim"?? Who's that?? Go eat a shoe you Malay bastard(Yes..I'm a racist..bite me again...)

Dr Muhammad said, however, that any renaming exercise should be done properly, adding that USM was willing to conduct studies to find a suitable name.

Fuck you, you pretentious bastard...Stop trying to show that USM knows everything...Woooo...USM this USM that...Fuck USM.....Conduct your studies on some other more logical stuff....As in putting up signboards so we can blardy find your restaurants(got lost in USM once trying to find some grub)...Or maybe you can conduct studies on why there're mushrooms growing out of Dr Muhammad's ass...dirty psycho...

“Calls for a name change were made several times in the last few decades. Even the local council had called for a change. But nothing had materialised,” he said.

Bullshit...straight up the ass bullshit...Don't even try to put the blame on the local council dick-head....What did they ever do to you?? Plus...nothing had materialised because practically....everybody here doesn't give a.........DAMN!!!!!

Dr Muhammad said an in-depth study should also be carried out to support proposals to change the name of Gurney Drive to Tan Sri Wong Pow Nee Drive and Macalister Road to Jalan Arumugampillai.

No offence to the Tan Sri...he was a great man....but I'd go nuts if they ever change the name of Gurney Drive to Tan Sri Wong Pow Nee Drive...It's just bloody absurd...The name's too long and by the time I finished mentioning Tan Sri Wong Pow Nee Drive, I'd be so turned off that I'd rather sit at home and wank in front of the pc(I do online porn...sue me...)....What about Jalan Arumugampillai?? Why can't they just call it Jalan Aru?? Refresh my mind on who's Arumugampillai again?? Anyone??

*SIDE NOTE* The late Tan Sri Wong Pow Nee was Penang's 1st chief minister...God bless him wherever he may be now...

“It must be done to reflect the plural society and honour patriots and freedom fighters,” he said.

Son of a bitch...I know what's on your mind...You're hoping that at least 1 road in Penang will be named after you innit? Jalan Dr Muhammad...Is this what you want lamejack?? Too bad...I got a road named after me...Hock Hin Terrace(I can't spell terrace or terace or terrece...dammit)...I'm only 20 and I already have a road...What else can I say?? Dr Muhammad....KISS MY ASS!!!

Historian Prof Abu Talib Ahmad said George Town was only used in government documents and by students for geography or history.

I ain't gonna start flaming you for what you said cause I'm already worned out from dissing Muhammad....I just got this to say to you though......GET A LIFE!!

I don't know bout you guys but I'm seriously not going to agree to these drastic changes...According to TT, a former schoolmate, Mark Wong is going to start a protest...For the TRUE HARDCORE Penangites who do not want to see these changes...I suggest you contact Mark and make a riot or something...Gather your pitchforks and spades....Go burn USM down or something...

For the TRUE HARDCORE slackers...yall can just be like me...
-Grab a large pack of popcorn and a large cup of coke
-Watch the riot from a distance
-Cheer when the protest is going well
-Pretend I don't know anything when protest fails

ma leh...lizard infestation???

2005-04-15T05:43:00.000-07:00

Crap lar....the other day while I was gonna cook instant noodles for my supper at 3am, I must had encountered a mass lizard sex orgy or something...
Blardy hell...I could see clearly about 5-6 lizards all stuck on the ceiling...
Doing what I don't know lar...But I assume they were humping each other or maybe they just wanna join me in watching the football game lar(Bayern against Chelsea...Chelsea through to semis...Go fark yourselves you Nazi scum...)

The ordeal didn't end there as when I reached into the kitchen cabinet to grab my packet of instant noodles...I could see another 2-3 lizards clinging to the side of the cupboards...
They immediately ran off....and I was already damn friggin disgusted....
I opened the second kitchen cabinet to grab the pot and there again...I saw a blardy lizard crawling out of the pot that I was gonna use to cook my noodles...
Kanneh...I blardy turned off....
Can't imagine myself eating noodles with lizard flavour in it...
For all you know that very same pot might had been the lizard's love bed....or some meeting place to discuss how to annoy the heck out of me...

Ma leh..Had to wash the freakin pot all over again...
Soaped the pot for bout 2343102 times....
And all that while I could hear them lizards making their lizard noises "chit chit chit chit chit"...
They must be either laughing their freakin tails off or the female lizards are moaning from all that humping...Farking horny reptiles...

Forced myself to eat without thinking bout them lizards...
Felt thirsty so went to get a drink...
Ley ma...I actually saw a lizard crawling among the cups on the cups holder...
I whipped out my shotgun and blew away the nasty reptile(fiction)
Felt that the drink ain't that important anymore...so instead...resorted to drinking straight from the tap..
Yeah..no cups...just turned on the tap and drank from the running water...
Rather get a stomach ache than drink down some lizard poo poo....

As I was about to go back up to my room...I could still see the same 5-6 lizards stuck on the ceiling...
They weren't doing anything lar...
Just blardy sitting there doing nothing...
Fine...I admit..I might had invaded their privacy...
Who knows...they might had been practicing the kama sutra up there...

Kama Sutra Chapter 12, Page 115 :- Humping upside down stuck to ceiling brings pleasure to both male and female....
*SIDE NOTE* Stop all humping when privacy is invaded....Resume humping when hungry human has eaten and gone back to room...Happy humping.....

The other day while coming back from the PC Fair(yawnn...boring...yawn..) I saw a lizard clinging on to Rene's car's side view mirror(Clean your car lar Rene...blardy Safari in your car man...).
The little guy's kinda brave lar...
Rene was going about 110kph dee and the lizard fella was still clinging on....
Took a snapshot as a rememberence(I got down from the car and whacked the holy hell out of the lizard with my sandals...nawww...I'm just kidding...Will probably get fucked by some animal activist group for doing that)

little guy clinging for his life...

Siennnzzzz

2005-04-11T03:21:00.000-07:00

Nothing much to report I'm afraid...so...here's a joke to share with you all....Peace...

True story, I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else. One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me." I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight towards my car. My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.

"The moral of this story is:"

"Always keep your condoms in your car."

Get a life, you bunch o' whiners(PART 3)

2005-04-09T20:13:00.000-07:00

This is the 3rd part...please read the 1st 2 parts below before proceeding to the below...

Okay la..Big Bro wasn't actually that full of crap...I remembered those times when all them weirdos wrote to Big Bro seeking advice...Serious..There was so much weird kinky shit in Big Bro a few years back...
Let me see if I can recall some...

Ahh..I remembered this crack who wrote in about his feelings for this girl...
About how much he liked her....
About how he would stare at her in tuition class...
About how he stalked her to her tuition's toilet once...
About how he managed to catch the girl with her pants down, literally...
I'm still figuring out what bloody advice he still needs since he's already seen the "Holy Grail" that all men search for in their life...
***For the clueless...he saw the girl's bush...***

Pgslacker's advice:-

"Brother...I salute you....I would have choked you personally with my bare hands for not taking a picture of her and her exposed beaver but hey....it's all good.....by the way...I recommend you look up the book "Stalker 101"...Rule number 243...always bring a camera along when you're stalking someone...I'll be expecting the pics in my mailbox anytime soon now..."

Another cracked letter I read before is about this girl...
About how she had to support her family because the dad's a drunkard and her mom had passed away...
About how she had to work a few jobs....
About how she was taken advantage of....
About how her schoolmates paid her for a blowjob...
About her giving a blow in the prefect's room(still no idea why she had to describe it so detailedly)...

Pgslacker's advice:-

"Keep up the good job...You're doing a big favour for your schoolmates by blowing them off...Plus hey...you still get to earn some extra cash....Would like to recommend the book "Blowjob For Suckers...The Dummy Version"...Read up...blow more...and you'll be a millionaire soon...Good luck..."

And of course...occasionally you have the real sickos writing in...like this certain guy....
About how he looks like a normal guy...
About how he felt like a woman in a man's body...
About how he don't like girls and like guys...
About how he buys and puts on female clothings....
About how he enjoy being in female clothings....

Pgslacker's advice :-

"Fuck you faggot....There is no place for people like you in this world...Please...do the world a favour...Grab your kitchen knife and slit your throat now....Bet your mama must be like going nuts when she found out you're wearing her undergarments....You sick, disgusting, worthless steaming pile of cow dung..."

Get a life, you bunch of whiners(PART 2)

2005-04-08T02:41:00.000-07:00

This is the 2nd part of the Big Bro trilogy..haha..kidding...would recommend you read the 1st part before proceeding to read the below....

Another letter in this week's Big Bro section...goes a little something like this:-

"I AM 18 years old and I've been with my boyfriend for almost two years. Our relationship is getting very dull and boring....yadda yadda yadda....Recently I got to know a guy, A, from my college.........A and I went out a few times and I'm really comfortable with him..........I'm now in love with A......The problem is he has liked my good friend for some time and I feel sad that the person I love always doesn't love me.......The worse thing is every single time he talks about my friend, I feel hurt and want to cry......What are the chances of A and I getting together?"

---I'm-in-Love---

And Big Bro replies:-
-Relationship will go nowhere because A doesn't love you.
-Will work if A is willing
-Dump your current boyfriend

Errr....1st 2 replies were kinda good..wasn't it??
But the 3rd 1...Jesus...Big Bro...what the hell did that guy ever do to you?? Please don't be such an annoying jack and tell the girl to break up just because you want to make your reply longer and fill some space....Or maybe you're just a sadistic crack who enjoys seeing people breaking up....Heck...I don't know...

Pgslacker's reply :-

"Dear I'm-in-Love,
Please....do GET A LIFE! The guy doesn't loves you so why are you hovering over him like flies to some exposed pisang goreng?? There is no use in crying cause A won't even care....I suggest you stop using the word "cry" to generate any form of sympathy from our readers..It's just not working........I also suggest you concentrate on your current boyfriend. And please...never blame a guy if a relationship is dull or boring. You have only yourself to blame my dear. It is obvious you ain't giving him enough sex and hence...he doesn't gives a damn about you anymore....Give him a blowjob some time. You can never go wrong with sex. Trust me. He'll be back on Monday with a bucket-full of Kentucky Fried Chicken...now how can you call that dull eh??
By the way...you have about as much chance of getting together with A as a penguin would to fly...stupid bee-yotch...GET A LIFE!"

***Another guy being stalked by a buffalo.....never easy being guys***

Get a life, you bunch of whiners(PART 1)

2005-04-08T02:06:00.000-07:00

I assume everyone here knows about this section in The Star newspaper called Big Bro??
I've been reading it for the last...I donno....5-6 years...
Basically Big Bro is sort of like the Agony Aunt kinda thingy...
Some depressed whack will write in to Big Bro seeking advice about whatever problems he/she is currently facing in life...
It used to be the section I look forward to every week....
But recently there's nothing but jackshit in it..so...fare ye well Big Bro...You've just lost a fan...

The below is a small section of Big Bro in this week's papers...

"I AM a 14-year-old girl. I've had three ex-boyfriends and each relationship lasted for around a month..........I seldom called him cause I don't have my own mobile phone and I was afraid that my parents would find out about the relationship.......I cried for hours even during class.....I invited him to my birthday party but he didn't turn up......I am so upset......."

---Teddy Bear,Kuantan---

And Big Bro replies....
"bla bla bla bla bla"

Fine...I never did really read what Big Bro replied...His/Her English is so damn(and I really mean it) good that I always got lost somewhere between the 1st and the 3rd sentence....yeah yeah...I only read the 1st 3 sentences...so sue me...
Referring back to Teddy Bear from Kuantan....her letter was so damn freakin long it was an instant turn off...
Yes...most of the time I would scan these losers' letters for the word SEX...but all I could see in her letter was..."bla bla boo-hooo...I can't get this guy...so upset...boo-hoo-hoo"

Pgslacker's reply(if he ever decided to take up the job as Agony Aunt or Uncle):-

"Dear Teddy Bear,
Please...do GET A LIFE! I am sad...Yes I truly am...NOT for you...BUT for your parents.
It is most unfortunate for them to have a daughter who monkeys around with guys behind their backs at this tender age(Refer to RED WORDS up above). I would seriously recommend that you pay more attention to your studies instead of crying in class...who knows...you might just get a tight slap from your English teacher for not listening to him/her yak about literature. Please do not write back to me seeking for advice anymore...I have totally no interest at all to know what's going on in your life...Kill yourself for all I care....please...GET A LIFE...."

By the way...instead of encouraging her to pursue her studies, Big Bro actually encouraged her to continue stalking whoever that unfortunate fellow is...
***Dude...I feel for you....It sucks having a buffalo stalking us...ain't it??***

So you want to do some chemistry??

2005-04-02T06:13:00.000-08:00

This guy makes me(I've never passed chemistry in my life) seem like a genius...
I have nothing but the upmost respect for him...
I would had done the same(no..really..I don't know the answers to the questions below)...but I rather save my dignity by not putting down any answers and leaving the spaces blank(it's no wonder I just barely passed chemistry for my STPM)......

*NOTE* The pics are a bit small...Do click on the pics for bigger versions of them...Hope you all had a good laugh..haha...

hmm....

hmmmmmm....

hmmmmmmm...sauce??

hmmmmm.....icccccc

ahhhhh.....what a genius...

So you wanna have some seafood eh??

2005-03-31T00:17:00.000-08:00

The plan was originally set for Tambun...but I just didn't wanna let my mom down lar(sorry guys)...
She actually lectured me about how far Tambun is and how many youngsters are killed in accidents and all that...
Being the good and obedient son that I am(ehem....) I took her advice(have to la...leaving to another place soon)..
We drove(Z drove actually...many thanx mate) for what seemed like 5742.213 kilometres before we actually found this place called "Good Friend" seafood...Guess what...it was closed...
Asked the recommendation from a local neighbourhood aunty who suggested "Hai Boey" restaurant...
With barely a vague idea...we drove on for another 203.213 kilometres before we found it....
I'll let the pics do the talking...

WHAT WE ORDERED AT THE RESTAURANT
1) Curry fish(what fish was it again guys?)
2) Crabs fried in tomyam butter...
3) Deep fried cuttlefish
4) Prawns fried in nestum and butter..

and....the dish that stunned us all...
5) Manties prawn fried with some sauce(can't remember but it was THAT damnn good)
6) Fried "wan tan" noodles(this was sort of a stunner too...very good stuff)
7) Drinks...

ADVENTURES OF ORDERING SEAFOOD FOR OUR FIRST TIME

Waitress :- What would you like to eat??
Z, Thern, Yan and Me :- ERrrrrrrrr.....***looks at each other***
Me :- Can you introduce some good dishes to us??
Thern :- We're on a budget....about RM20-30 each...
Yan :- Eh..What you want eat??
Zack :- Don't look at me...you all order la...
Waitress :- Why not you guys take the fish,prawns,cuttlefish,crabs and the Manties prawns??
Thern :- Yeah...manties prawns would be good...
Me :- ***misheard*** Did she just say Panties prawns??
Zack :- Yeah...Panties prawns la...
Yan :- Yeah man...
Waitress :- Yes..that's what they call it...Panties prawn....
Me :- ******BLUR*******

Not only till after dinner did I found out that it was actually Manties prawn and not Panties prawn...Woah...Any who...the Manties prawns deserve a special mention because not only was it deep fried(my favourite method of cooking) it came with a sauce which is OHHHH-SOOOO-GOOD!!!!!
I can't remember the name of the sauce...update me guys??

The damage???
RM115...
Cheap?? expensive?? you decide...to me...I thought it was kinda cheap...any1 interested?? I wanna have more....wooooooo hoooooooooooo

wonderful stuff...

lookie at the crabs....

fried "wantan" noodles...good stuff...

what's left...crab shells and prawn heads and empty plates...

hai boey hai boey...thern,Z,and yan....!!!

the next place to try out...about 10.4320394 feet from hai boey...

2005-03-30T23:44:00.000-08:00

Magnum results and my car's road tax.....
Haihhh...I can see it already...money...flying away from me....sad case...

err...until now..i'm still stunned....

So you wanna throw some tissue paper??

2005-03-29T17:06:00.000-08:00

Errr...what else is there for me to say...
Pile of tissue paper thrown from front passenger side(a woman) while car was stopping at a traffic light...
Jesus....it doesn't get any dirtier than this...
Pics do not do justice because in reality...the pile of tissue was covered in a yellow-greenish goo which makes me(being 5.2342342 feet away) sick to the core....
It is most unfortunate that the traffic lights turned green 0.14021 minutes later....
If I had a little more time...hmmmmm...maybe this was what I would had done...

THINGS THAT I MIGHT HAD DONE IF I HAD MORE TIME
1) Turn off engine, alight from car and lock it...
2) Leisurely walk towards pile of tissue...
3) Whip out rubber gloves...
4) Pick up pile of tissue....
5) Gesture towards the woman to wind her window down...
6) Stuff pile of tissue into woman's mouth....
7) Scold some Hokkien profanities....
8) Get back into car and zoom off....

It is just so disheartening to see people leisurely throwing tissue out of their cars...
It's the world-famous Malaysian "Tidak-apa" attitude....
When I saw the tissue flew out of the car...I had 5.54398 seconds(before tissue hits ground) to think about how this certain mom(yeah there were kids in the back) would educate her children....
She would probably tell her children that....
"Aiya...throw a bit rubbish nevermind 1 la"
Fast forward 5 years ahead and you might just see her children shatting at the side of the road...
"Aiya...nevermind 1 la...just shitting at the side of the road wat"

Kid No.1 :- Mommy...why did you throw rubbish out of the car??
Mom :- Aiya...throw a bit rubbish nevermind 1 la...
Kid No.2 :- But teacher say cannot simply throw rubbish...
Mom :- Aiya..Your teacher don't know anything la...I tell you now...You can throw anything you want out of the car.....
Both Kids :- Then we can throw you out of the car too loh??
Mom :- ***STUNNED***
Me :- Aiyayyyyyyyyyyyy......***fiu fit fiu fit*** ***applause applause*** ***cheer cheer***

Kids these days...They're so smart...probably overdose of Dumex milk powder...with all that DHA and MAA and...whatever la....

PEOPLE INVOLVED BECAUSE OF PILE OF TISSUE
1) Our most unfortunate MPPP workers - pick up tissue...yucks...
2) Local health authorities - sanitize the area and prevent spread of germs...
3) Local tar layer - retar sections of road that might be damaged from germs...
4) Local road painter - repaint yellow lines and so on...
5) Local government - paying the above 4 for doing their jobs...
6) Local tax payers - paying the local government to pay the above 4....

Thank you very much lady...You just made our day...

wooo...tissue paper...

leaving the scene??? not before I take down your number...

Drunk Wars:- Revenge of the drunkards....coming to a club near you...

2005-03-28T05:03:00.000-08:00

Aikssss...check out the pic...Looks like somebody had a wee too little bit to drink...but I don't blame him la...
Out of 4 people who drank that night...3 returned semi drunk(or extremely drunk as in the guy in the pic's case)...
How did we get this drunk??? I don't know...As in the guy in the pic's case...he had bout 10 glasses before he started vomitting(in the club itself..yucks..it was chicken burger and fries all over the dance floor) and passed out right on the spot...
I don't know..Maybe he was depressed over his STPM results...I know I was(I failed...Yippie)...
As in my case...well...I'm sort of the bring-on-the-good-stuff guy...You know...as in when I've tried something good...I'll just keep wanting more...
My 1st glass of whiskey(mix with coke) was...ooooooo.....how should I put it....nice but could be better...
I didn't want to drink THAT much because my purpose of going to the clubs was just to check out the many(or the lack of) chicks that night...
As there weren't too many at that time(11-ish) I kept on drinking...and by the 7-8th glass...I was feeling...a wee little bit light headed...
Pile on the cigars...and all I could see were stars and blury lights and moving shadows....
Pile on the Marlboros and I couldn't even stand without supporting myself by holding onto the table...
Jesus...the stuff smokes and alcohol do to your body!! Amazing...
I was so drunk that when a chick approached me(Yeah..I can't believe it either) I couldn't even make out a single word she was saying...
All I could hear was a female voice...but no words which I could recognise....
Heck..maybe it wasn't me being drunk..maybe it was her...foreigner perhaps?? I don't know...

Chick :- Hi...what's ur name??
Me :- ***What the hell is she saying???***
Chick :- Hello...are you okay??
Me :- ***Bismillah-irahman-irahim...Assalamulaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh*** Jesus...woman...are you speaking Islamic to me???
Chick :- ***LEAVES***

I remembered leaving the club in a semi-drunken state....and I was to drive them all back to the apartment(Will's grandpa's place)???
Jesus...that'd be cool....So...in my half drunken state I drove...
Did I get into any accidents?? No
Was it cool?? Hell yeah....

Back at the apartment...vomitted twice...slept and the next morning...back to home...pretending to be as sober as I can(If mom ever finds out bout this she'll kill me)

By the way there're 2 more bottles of whiskey(I had 2 smuggle 1 back home...not telling you guys where I hid it though) left...any takers???
Shall we be drunk during our reunion night?? Anyone??

our one and only drunken master...bro...colgate is for the teeth lar...

Stupidity at its upmost best...

2005-03-28T04:20:00.000-08:00

They say a picture paints a thousand words....and I can definitely rant on for more than a thousand words about the pic below...but I'll save you guys the boredom and get straight to the point...

This pic was taken at...Guess...try and guess....
Can't get it yet?? Yeah...an elevator....for CHRIST'S SAKE...AN ELEVATOR!!!
Whoooooo in their freaking monkey mind would leave a whole pile of Mc'D wrappers and cups at the corner of an elevator?????
My God man...I've seen piss and cigarette boxes...heck even used condoms...but this...THIS....is a 1st for me...
Okay...I don't live in an apartment...so basically using elevators is not in my daily routine....but arrghhh....Mc'D??? Seriously...only a monkey will buy a whole pile of food from Mc'D, sit in the corner of the elevator, munch on the food and leave the garbage behind...
Heck...there's so much food there that there must be at least 2-3 of them monkeys...I don't know...
I was just damn pissed to see the stupidity and ignorance of people nowadays...
So...did I help throw away the garbage?? HECK NO....I'm not clearing up another jackass's mess....Even though it pains me to know that the maintainence workers have to pick it up the next morning...but no way am I helping to clear garbage thrown(or left) by a monkey....

On a more serious note...perhaps the food was deliberately left there for the spirits...I mean...this pic was taken during the Cheng Beng season...not hungry ghost...but whatever la...same same kua...
Maybe some dude who liked Mc'D very much had a heart seizure(probably overdose of Big Macs) and died in the elevator....Maybe it was his 123456789th anniversary of his death and his family members had bought a whole pile of Mc'D just to satisfy the hunger of his spirit...

I don't know..I was too drunk to even think about spirits...I was lucky that I wasn't drunk enough to actually go through that pile of garbage in search of free food(Yeah right...like there's free stuff in the world now)...Anyways...maybe guys in apartments with elevators would like to share what weird shit they had encountered before??? Piss is a norm in elevators...Heck I would even piss in an elevator...if only they didn't have that CCTV with gay Malay security guards watching(kidding of course)...

I just don't know what else to say...Bon apetit?

jEsUs..wOmEn cAn'T fUcKinG dRiVe aNd WiLL I diE sOoN?

2005-03-28T02:00:00.000-08:00

Okay...I've been holding back this topic for a damned long time but I finally have to post it up after what happened today...
Fuck I was out driving for about an hour and I nearly met with not 1..not 2 but 3 accidents...
Surprise...surprise(I wasn't actually)...they were all women drivers...
I will not bore you with how these deadly(but gorgeous) females nearly accidentally(or deliberately) robbed me of my life today...but all I can say is all 3 events can be summed up below....

ATTITUDES OF WOMEN BEHIND THE WHEEL
1) Overestimates car (e.g. woman in BMW 318i who shot across the road when I was just 3.21389043209 feet from her....stupid bitch....)
2) Bad judgement of road(e.g. woman in white Iswara who couldn't do a U turn properly and nearly ramming my car....fuckin shit)
3) Not looking at side view mirror(e.g. woman in white Saga cut into my lane and not noticing I was just freaking beside her...blind biatch)

THINGS TO DO BEFORE GOING OUT FOR A DRIVE
1) Equip self with crash helmet and racing seat belts...
2) Pray before God and ask for forgiveness...May He protect me from the she-devils on the roads...
3) Take car to prey before Indian God...May He protect my baby from any damage...
4) Fix a woman-sensing device on car...May the sensor beep whenever a woman driver is around...

I'm afraid I might die 1 day in the hands of one of these woman drivers....So....

THINGS TO DO BEFORE I DIE
1) Get a girlfriend - CHECKED
2) Go clubbing - CHECKED
3) See(only see...not try) prostitutes - CHECKED
4) Have sex -
5) Have a drink with a mafia boss -
6) Beat the holy hell out of some member of the public -
7) Kamikaze crash into a woman driver -
8) Kamikaze crash into a woman driver -
9) Kamikaze crash into a woman driver -
10) Kamikaze crash into a woman driver -

I had this nightmare the other day....I dreamt that the "Grim Reaper" paid me a visit...He was sort of like a Nazgul...you know...black robes...black hood...face that can't be seen....
Well what do you know....he told me my "time" was up.....and before I knew it...BANG...there was a flash of white light...and I was in hell...
Yeah...It was nothing like the hell they depicted in Constantine...totally different....
And then...BANG...another flash of white light...and I woke up...
Woooo...Looks like I'm gonna be dead soon....
Now about that list of things to do before I die...Hmmm.......

The REAL unsung heroes...

2005-03-14T01:44:00.000-08:00

Let us ask ourselves...who are the real heroes of today??
Are they the countless doctors and medical staff who toil and toil in order to save the lives of the people??
Or are they your local volunteers, who help out whenever there is a dire situation?? e.g. tsunami-hit areas....
Or are they your local neighbourhood policemen??? who uphold the law and bring peace to the country....
Or maybe...your local firemen???...who help put out fires, thus saving lives and properties....

If you think any of the above are the heroes of today...then you're just being naive and stupid and foolish...
Yeah..none of the above are heroes worth mentioning...heck..they don't even deserve to be in the papers just because they stopped a robbery or put out a fire or do some shit that any ass-crack could have done...

The real heroes of today work longer and harder than any other profession there is...They start work in the early morning..say bout 4-5am-ish and continue until about 6-7pm-ish...They work all 7 days of a week and seldom or never at all take day-offs or half-day-leaves and they do not get extra for working overtime nor do they get a bonus at the end of the year....They brave all and I mean ALL weather conditions to accomplish their job...And yet...why do we not appreciate what they have done for us?? Why do we look down upon them?? Why do we not even take a second look at them or even thank them for what they have done for the society???

So I say to everyone(including you if you're reading this)....suck up the pride....stand up and give our REAL heroes a big applause....for without the workers of MPPP you would be living in a dump right now...

Okay...why the fuss about MPPP??? Well, I used to be just as ignorant as everyone out there whenever I see a MPPP worker doing his job...I wouldn't even take a second look at him...All that changed when today, while I was out having a drive...I saw this MPPP worker and immediately I had to take my hat off(wasn't wearing any actually) and salute him....

I was waiting at the traffic lights when I saw this MPPP worker on his bike...stopped at the side of a busy road...alighted from his bike....whipped out an empty plastic bag and started collecting the rubbish at the side of the road...WITH HIS BARE HANDS!!!!! I could clearly see what was going into the plastic bag...tissues...cigarette boxes...a 7-11 slurpee cup...Heck...He might had even picked up a used condom or sanitary pad with all that rubbish throw...

What I respect most about him is that he didn't even think twice about the embarassment of picking up rubbish at the side of the road...what with members of the public(including yours truly) looking at him...He didn't even think of the risks of being knocked down by a passing vehicle...He just went on collecting and as soon as the area was rid of stupid garbage thrown by stupid people...he rode off in his bike...no complaints...no mumbling...no nothing....

If you still have no newfound respect for out MPPP workers..then you're just as fucked up as the shit people throwing garbage everywhere....I swore that when he looked at my direction...I gestured a thumbs up, a clap and a salute to him....He smiled back and was off...collecting more garbage...And oh ya...he was collecting garbage at 5pm on a Sunday....Still no respect?? Then you're just shit...

Can you imagine what would happen if the MPPP workers decided that they've had enough and decided to quit their job for good?? What would happen to Penang?? Who would wanna clean up the garbage which some inconsiderate shit-hole threw out??? Would YOU do it??? So people...before you throw your rojak plastic bags out...think of our MPPP workers first.....and imagine a Penang without them....

Damn shit...I'm damn nervous bout tomorrow...so I'll just end it here for now...Cheeriosssssssssssss

Kids these days...Part II

2005-03-08T22:30:00.000-08:00

Sunday night...Was having dinner with my family at Mr. Ho's place when this family of 4 came and sat at the table about a few feet from ours....The family included the parents, a teenage daughter and a small boy(5-ish) I think...Let's give them names shall we?
Father = Mr.I-don't-give-a-damn
Mother = Mrs.Whatever-lah
Daughter = Ms.I-want-and-I-must-get
Son = Mr.Ignorant

Usually, I wouldn't give a damn bout what's going on around me when I'm at the dinner table...I'll feast feast feast..and if there's anything that anyone wants to tell me...It'll have to wait...
But I couldn't help but eavesdrop on the conversation of that particular family...Why???
Ms.I-want-and-I-must-get was making so much noise and Mr.I-don't-give-a-damn and Mrs.Whatever-lah were not doing anything to stop her...Mr.Ignorant was just happily munching away at his food....GOOD FOR YOU MATE...WE CAN BE GOOD PALS.....

Anyways....the daughter was telling the father about some new Sony Ericsson phone...She was blabbering non-stop about OOOOooohhhhh how good the phone is and WaaaaaaaaaHHHH, so many features and yadda yadda yadda....The father, Mr.I-don't-give-a-damn was just nodding his head in agreement to whatever the daughter was saying...The mother was paying more attention towards the son..and the son was still busy feasting away...YUM.....

Anyways...the below conversation is half fact and half fiction...I'll leave it to you guys to find out which half is fiction..hehe

Daughter :- Daddy, you know that phone we saw just now...It's so beautiful laaaaaa....
Dad :- ***nods head in agreement*** yes arr???
Daughter :- Yeah...got colour screen and camera somemore you know...
Dad :- Ohhh...Is it??
Daughter :- YA!! and also got a few games...and can even type sms while talking on the phone...
Dad :- I see I see ****I don't give a damn woman!!!**** So how much is it again??
Daughter :- WAH Daddy...You want buy for me ah??? It's only RM1300 woh
Dad :- Oh........***shit...so expensive!!!***
Me :- ****chokes on "sio tu bak"(roast pork)**** Cough cough....****Materialistic bitch****
Mom :- ***pays even more attention to little son***
Son :- ***eats and eats and eats***
Daughter :- Daddy...How?? Can buy for me?? All my friends also got...
Dad :- I'll see first...***runs off to toilet...probably checking if he's got enough cash for the phone***
Daughter :- Mommy...I want that phone...
Mom :- Ah boy ah...eat some more...
Son :- ***eats eats eats***

Guys...If you were the father...would you actually spend that much for your daughter???
I wouldn't...Definitely I wouldn't....In my 20 years I grew up learning that we cannot have everything that we desire in life...
My mentor??? My father...
I grew up learning that no matter how much I "bodek"(suck up) to my father...I will never have the things that I want...
If I were to ask for magazines....*ting ting ting* ....he approves...cheap mar...
If I were to ask for a new RM1k+ handphone....*piak piak piak*....he slaps....

Anyways...If I were Mr. I-don't-give-a-damn...this is probably what I would tell my daughter or son if they ask for something that expensive...

Daughter :- Daddy, you know that phone we saw just now...It's so beautiful laaaaaa....
Me :- Yes ah??? The price tag also sure beautiful what...
Daughter :- Yeah...got colour screen and camera somemore you know...
Me :- I don't know woh...and I don't wanna know too...
Daughter :- YA!! and also got a few games...and can even type sms while talking on the phone...
Me :- Type sms?? Somemore while talking on phone?? Hello...I'm paying your blardy bill you know?
Daughter :- WAH Daddy...You want buy for me ah??? It's only RM1300 woh...
Me :- "Luuuuuuuu ki eong kannn"(you go fark off)...You think your "lao pek"(old man) print money???
Daughter :- Daddy...How?? Can buy for me?? All my friends also got...
Me :- Then you go stay with your friends lah (trademark phrase of my father whenever I compare myself to my friends)

Haha....I can't wait to be a father...its the only time where I can show any authority at all...
Ahh....crap...I just remembered...another thing that kids these days like to ask for is FREEDOM....Most teen movies that I've seen would depict the teenagers asking(demanding actually) for freedom from their parents...and most parents are on the losing side....However I applaude those parents who know how to handle this kinda situations...which of cause...includes my mentor...

Dad :- Don't talk to me about blardy freedom...As long as you're still staying under the roof of MY house and eating MY food, and using MY money...you'll blardy listen to what I have to say...If you want freedom, then you go pack YOUR bags, get out of MY house, and earn YOUR own money....then YOU can have all the freedom YOU want and YOU can do any shit YOU want....

Usually, this would leave me with nothing to say...Those were the rebellious years la...bout 16-17-ish...now that I'm 20 and getting older and older I actually appreciate the time,money and effort that my parents had put in to raise me up....

Haha...shit...serious...I can't wait to be a father...With all the knowledge of parenting imparted to me by me mentor...I'm ready to impart this knowledge back to my children...I can't wait to see the look on the faces of my children when I give them the lecture about FREEDOM...ahhahahahhaa...You might think that any child which will have me as a father is unlucky but I'm just doing this for their own good...Most children nowadays are so blardy pampered that it is the parents who are afraid of the child....

As you guys might know, nowadays parents are so overprotective of their children that even if the child was hit by a teacher for not doing their homework, the parents would be at the school in a jiffy to create a riot...In the end...even teachers nowadays are scared of the children..
I remembered reading in the newspaper about children of the yester-years...the writer wrote that his parents were called up to school because he had not completed his homework...Instead of protecting his child, the fella's father gave the go-ahead for the teacher to whack the holy shit out of the fella....YES...DISCIPLINE!!!!

Yeah...I'm a sick and twisted fella who's ready to teach the future generation some discipline, old-school style....Bring back the well-disciplined individuals of yester-years and out with the sissies and pussies of today's children....Cheeriossssssssssss..............

BIRTHDAY BIRTHDAY!!!!

2005-03-06T00:40:00.000-08:00

Wah lahhhhhh...This is the best damn birthday I've ever had larrrr....
The plan was set...We would check-in into a hotel....the Crown Prince Hotel that is...
Then we would waste some time...and by 11pm...it was time to head down to the clubs...damnnnnn good...

The day started out at 2.30...me and me mate(Adrian) checked in into the hotel...
Since it was too damn early we headed off to Island Plaza and soon met up with another mate(Rene) there...
A little info on Island Plaza...It used to be one of the most popular shopping malls around...
Unfortunately with the closure of its anchor tenant(Super Tanjung), the place is now like a shit-hole...
There're only a few stores around...Also there're only 2-3 stalls left in the food court...Even the cinemas had closed down....
Ahhh...the slow demise of the once proud Island Plaza....I shall always remember the good times I spent in there...May it rest in peace and lead a better life next time...

After that, we went off to fetch another mate(Derek) and went back to the hotel for a rest...Rene went back to his place...
About roughly half an hour late, another mate(Victor) showed up and after cleaning and washing up, we met up with another mate(Meng) and headed to a nearby food court for dinner...
Hmmmm....RM3.50 for a plate of fried rice...with nearly zero ingredients and lots of oil...Eww...
After dinner, Derek and Victor went to 7-11 to buy some cigars...Tsk tsk tsk...please la...don't spoil your lungs la brothers...

After that...we headed down to Gurney Plaza to waste more time...Before long, we were joined up with another mate(Alex) and we met up with Rene, Meng and Chin Loon outside the night club...Yeah...We gonna masuk night club...wooooo hooooooooooo... We met up with Choon Hau inside the club too...

DAMN EXCITED!!! That was the feeling...I could hear my heart beating in accordance to the bass of the music...DAMN KEAT!! The place was jam-packed...Guys and gals....but let's concentrate on the girls ya??
WAH LAHHH....was what I could say...All the girls there were....*OUCH* *sizzle sizzle* HOT HOT HOT!!!!
And since the place was soooooooooooooo packed, you can't blame me if I happened to bump into the girls...
It wasn't my fault!!! They bumped into me!!!! Fine...I wanted to be bumped too...and...I sort of like bumping into girls too...wooooooo....

More on the girls...not only were they sexily dressed and causing me to drool non-stop...they were also "feng tau-ing"(shaking head) like mad...Okay..they weren't on ecstasy or anything...I think...but they were all dancing and moving their nose-bleed-inducing bodies so much that....wow...I can't keep me eyes off them lar...but then I have to la...cause the other good part bout that night was the booze...Beers, Chivas-cokes and even cigars(remember 7-11??) were all part of the good stuff that night...

BAPUK ALERT!!! Okay..we were enjoying watching this group of girls dancing in front of us when suddenly a few young-fucks butted in and stole the show...I have no idea how but before long...the girls were dancing with the guys...leaving the rest of us with no blardy chicks...1 of the chicks even started to perform a lap dance...Want to know more?? Read on...Don't want to know?? Skip this paragraph...LAP DANCE :- Okay..the girl was basically rubbing her privates against the guy's laps...not on purpose la...she was sort of like dancing with the guy's thigh in between hers....
Later on..more girls came..and more bapuks came to snatch the chicks too...SHIT...was damn pissed...

OUR ADVENTURES WITH THE CHICKS
Me :- Lots of not-on-purpose body contacts...Lots of chicks looking this way..hahahhaa....no shit...
Derek :- Chicks looking at him but snatched by some bapuks... Lots of body contacts too...
Adrian :- Rejected by 2 girls(Awwwww....hahahha...) and also had chicks snatched by bapuks...
Rene :- Lots of not-on-purpose or on-purpose body contacts..hahaha...nearly got a gal but snatched by bapuk..
Victor :- Lots of not-on-purpose or on-purpose body contacts....
Alex :- Lots of not-on-purpose body contacts...
Chin Loon :- Holy-soul of the group..stood away from chicks..preventing any body contacts..good on u mate...
Meng :- 2nd holy-soul of the group..also stood away from chicks...with no body contacts..
Choon Hau :- 3rd holy-soul of the group...stood away from chicks but was more busy drinking....

The whole thing ended about 3 something in the morning....After that we went to Khaleel for a little drink...Basically we were sort of dehydrated because we were sweating like hell and too "kiam"(stingy) to spend more on drinks...you know la..nightclubs...they overcharge....

*P.S. A great big THANK YOU to Boon Wooi for bringing us in for free...You the man Boon..hahahaahaa

Then..it's back to the hotel for some sleep...
Next morning...went for breakfast with Derek and Adrian....before heading to 1stop to lepak around...
We(only Adrian actually...us 2 were diabaikan..haha) were approached by a sales-girl promoting contact lenses...
Before long, we chatted her up and soon got her name(Tifferny) and number(won't be telling...its between us 3 only..hahahaha)...incredible...

Back home...me family took me out for dinner...They suggested this fine-dining place called Mr.Ho's...just somewhere near Northam Hotel....The food was WOW...simply incredible...
Their speciality was this RM75 dish....which included roast pork belly(sio bak), pork sausages, pork knuckles and many more....

I got a birthday cake, an Initial D vcd from my siblings and a big red packet from me parents...Awww....thanx guys....anyways...20 already this year...getting old...to ALLLLLL me mates...Love u guys la...Let's hang out some time...
To the mates who hanged out with me at the night club...let's go again mates!!!! arrghhh!!!
To the mates who didn't get to go to the night club...let's go also larr!!! you'll love it bros!!! hahahahahhahaa...Cheerio.....

he's smiling now...but he wasn't when he was rejected twice....wakakkakakakaka

derek....leaving hotel room for night club...woo hooo..

left to right...victor, adrian and alex

hot babe...

rene dancing near a hot babe...

adrian sleeping...or wanking??

birthday cake!!!!

birthday prezzies..

looking up prozzies and million dollar baby...

2005-03-05T01:06:00.000-08:00

I can't remember when...It must have been Wednesday...
Was damn sien but then got a call up by 2 mates(will not mention names....) to go for a ronda...
Was discusing where to go until the idea of checking out health and spa centres came up....
Now the health and spa centres that we wanted to check out wasn't your everyday old-aunty-slapping-on-oil-and-massage centres...
Basically the health and spa centres were just a cover up for a brothel...
Yes...you got it...prostitutes hang around in these places...
AWWWW....Come on...don't look at me like that...I din go for their services la...just saja syok nothing to do go see them lo....

1st place we checked out was a place called Cathay spa centre...I was scared shit when we were there...I peeked through the door and I could see a whole row of prositutes just sitting there waiting for customers...Naturally since we could see them from the outside, they could see us from the inside too...And before long this guy, whom I suspected was the "bapa ayam"(pimp) came out to greet us...I don't know bout my mates but I was about to run like hell cause this guy was huge!! muscular!! And I was afraid that if we rejected the brothel's services I would be beaten to a pulp...Anyways...Chins up!! Chest high!! We braved ourselves and enter the place....

We were invited to have a sit and told to take our times checking out the girls...Errr...By then I was about to piss in my pants dee....but then since we're already inside...just look la...I must report however that the prostitutes....LOOK GOOD!!! DAMN!! I couldn't believe that girls as good-looking as them would actually wanna sell their selves...All the time I was checking out the girls, the pimp was telling us the details..."pua tiam cheng, chi pak"(half an hour for RM100).."pao ka liao"(everything included:---i'm presuming massage plus sex itself)...By then the pimp kept on staring at the 3 of us, wanting to make sure that we pick a girl...We didn't know how to "cabut"(get out)...That is until a customer came in and the pimp went over to him...We bade the pimp farewell and got ourselves out of there....Hmmm....Nice experience..hahahha....adrenaline rush perhaps?? I don't know...but we sure wanted to try it again...

Next place was a spa centre called Sakura....Again we were scared shit about entering the place....And again we braved ourselves and finally enter the place...The guy in charge was not the boss of the place...*pheww*...He told us about the charges which are again RM100 for half an hour...We took our time checking out the prostitutes before we felt it was time to cabut again...I was quite thankful that the boss was not around and the guy helping us out was just a worker...At least we won't be breaking any hearts when we leave....As we were about to leave, 2 prozzies(prostitutes) came out and we were stunned shock...I thought that they were coming after us...But in the end...we went our separate ways....

There was still time and we were already feeling braver(just a bit la) so we went to check out this place called New City Pub...The place looked quite normal...That is until we entered the place...Inside, it was pitch dark...A worker came over and helped us with our enquiries...He was very friendly though...Hats off to him..ahahaha...Anyways...we could clearly see the...ermm....GROs(guest relations officers izzit??) walking about...We saw about...arrr....3-4 i think and they weren't that bad looking at all...I always thought that GROs and prozzies would be bad-looking but wow..they do look good...Anyways...they HAVE to look good la...Or else how to make money?? In the end we left.....

While talking to another mate(Zack...in msn...) we came out to calculate how much would these prozzies make in a month...Say...for a half hour session of RM100...RM80 goes to the prozzies while RM20 goes to the pimp...
If the girl services 5 customers a day:---- RM80 x 5 = RM400 a day...
In a month she would make :---- RM400 x 30 = RM12,000 a month....
HAH??? How much is a doctor's pay?? What bout lawyer's pay?? Accountant's pay leh??? ALL BLARDY LESS THAN THESE PROZZIES....SHITTTT!!!

*NOTE* For those who are thinking the wrong things...don't think anymore...I didn't pay for any services...neither did my 2 mates...but hats off to them for braving themselves..hahaha...especially our "tau keh"(boss)...You know who you are..hahahahhaha...I salute you boss...

For today...got a call up to catch Million Dollar Baby by me mate(Zack)...We were joined by Chun Wei and his gf...No spoilers again here....so you can read on...
For those who like touching stories...this show is a definite for you...
For those who like boxing....this show is for you too...
For those who are afraid of girls who can fight...skip this...hahaha...

That's pretty much bout it for today lar...
Won't be around tomorrow...Gonna have a hotel stay at the Crown Prince Hotel...
OBJECTIVE :- To party all night long at various night clubs....maybe...and to check out more chicks...maybe only too....
MONEY :- Bringing RM300...just in case...

Oh well...Will be back on Sunday night to blog bout Saturday's events then...till then...take care all..Cheerio...

Edu fair

2005-03-01T23:50:00.000-08:00

This post is late again...I'm having GLOW syndrome...or other wise known as Getting Lazy Of Writing syndrome...Yeah...I can't find the inspiration to write anymore...Basically since I'm still on holiday...my brain is still on power-off mode...I'm so lazy to think up of new stuff to write......And thinking up of topics to write in the blog is kinda taxing on the brain too...

Anyways...enough of the complains...Went to the Education Fair held at PISA on Sunday with me mates(Adrian Chan and Derek Ho...kan ley ma puki la..hahahha)....Met up with 2 more mates(Zack and Yan..sup bros)...

Basically the whole event was shit.....I learnt almost nothing there....The college I was looking for(Institut Teknikal Jepun-Malaysia) was a no-show and the chicks there were *yawn yawn* could be better la...Some of the exhibitors had put on quite a nice exhibit I must say...KDU and DISTED were looking good...but our el-cheapo local Universities were crap...Tsk tsk tsk....very disappointing.....

What next...oh yeah..the announcer...Something must be wrong with him because whenever he wanted to announce something...he would turn the volume to MAX...and most of the time he would be giving us a fright...It was sure damn hell funny to see the chicks and aunties there jump with fright whenever the announcements came on...they would then start to pat their chests...you know...the way people do to calm themselves down...I don't know why but I felt like laughing out loud whenever this happened...Anyway...I don't exactly support the announcer giving the public a fright...so if I ever find out where he's making his announcements, I'll be there in a jiffy to shove his microphone up his arse.....hohoho...

Next...we went for a small meal at Kassim Mustafa...before heading off to Adrian's house...It was pay day...and his Minister of Home Affairs(His Aunty) was about to lay a fat load of money for him...After being equipped with cash..we proceeded to Gurney(again?? sienz...) to stock up on some food and drinks...We were going to watch the Carling Cup Final at his place....hehehe...started scoping chicks again....The Honda F1 models were still there...ahh...so gorgeous...yum yum....

In the car park...we turned into "tu-kau"(uneducated) mode...we would roll down the windows and shout profanities at the top of our lungs....well...not me la...Those 2(Adrian and Derek) did....I'm the good boy driving the car..hahahhahaa...but it was sure damn funny to hear the echos of the profanities...hahahaha....they would even wave and say "hello" whenever we drive past a group of girls...ahhhh...the fun of being uneducated...wakakkakaka

*NOTE* Profanities = bad words and bad phrases

After that it was on for the Carling Cup...Chelsea won...which was quite obvious from the start...hahaha...an entertaining match...entertaining all the way to the final whistle...during halftime we walked to the coffeeshop nearby to stock up on more food...At the same time...we also did a different kind of "stocking" when we visited the VCD shop nearby..hahahhaa..wanna know what "stock" I'm talking about?? Aiya...you all should know la...haha

Anyways...that's pretty much it...Monday and today are not worth mentioning...I was at home both days...anyways..here are some pics from Sunday....Cheerio....

nice girl in orange...hmmm...

err....the kemayan girl...

fine ass

green...derek's ass on the left....hahahhaa

wooo...

weeeee...

derek says kinky...adrian says fat...I say yeeeeeee.....

evo8...location:- Gurney underground carpark...

WAHH....MINI BIKE SPOTTED IN PENANG!!!

2005-02-26T21:45:00.000-08:00

Went for a ronda again as usual...Nothing much for today...Just a lot of family men bringing their family for a drive...which also means a lot more slow drivers around...
Fuhh..speaking of family man...today I saw something that nearly made me piss in my pants...
I was behind this Toyota Unser...and we were travelling at say 80kph...At the crossroads ahead I could see a Naza Ria on the left of the crossroads which was waiting at the junction, about to cross the road....
As me and the Unser moved on...the Ria suddenly shot across the road and we had to brake like mad...
I could swear that the Unser and Ria was this close :-

there u go...

The Unser was lucky that it had ABS(it has right??) and could brake easily before hitting the Ria...
I on the other hand was even luckier that I had stayed a long distance behind the Unser and thus got to avoid a wheel-lock which might result in me sliding and hitting the Unser at the back....I was stunned shit and I headed home immediately...for now...I have a fear of family men in big cars....

Ria driver :- Hah...Unser 1.8??? My Ria 2.0 more powerful *shoots across the road*
Unser driver :- LEY MAH *brakes like shit*
Me :- Makahai chao cibai *brakes hard but trying to avoid wheel-lock*
Children in Ria :- Daddy...what the fuck you trying to do??
Children in Unser :- Daddy...Go fuck that Ria driver..
Me :- KANINAH....ALL OF YOU GO FUCK OFF LA...DRIVE LIKE LAN!!!!

Okay...Maybe I've gone a bit nuts cause I nearly lost my life today...I still can't get the scene out of my head...I gotta get myself a new car...FORD RANGER...I'LL JUST RAM THE 2 MOTHERFUCKERS OFF THE ROAD....WAKAKAKAKAKAA ****siao siao siao siao siao siao siao siao siao**** On to the next agenda....

Wah lahhh....Damn chio man...I spotted 2 "ang mohs"(english men) riding mini bikes today at batu ferringi...
They looked damn funny but I was more interested in the bikes...
SOOOOOOoooooo small and yet powerful...Can overtake my car somemore...That's why they ended up at the front of my car..just like the pic below...
More on the bikes...not only is it small..it's also LOUD!!!
It puts my car's muffler to shame....
And I think it operates only on 1 gear...because I could hear easily how the bike was dragging on...
Shit...Anyone interested for a go at these bikes??? Hook me up cause I sure wanna try...

"ang moh" on mini bike...